r/CTE

I played contact football for 8 years growing up. Countless Oklahoma drills, practices etc, I would lead with my head, even if not down, and not shy from contact. Then in 2020 got into a car wreck going 75 without braking. I had severe issues with mood and substances at 19-20 and then less severe issues but longer recently.
I’ve had severe mood swings, an explosive temper, bizarre irritability and crazy thoughts. And wrecked my life several times.
Tried psilocibyn and it made it worse.

Most people would describe me as a friendly person who’s smart and great with people. I love nature and animals and cultures and languages.
I care about people generally but as I’ve gotten older now 35M I’ve realized how my antisocial behavior is extremely atypical and it has now gotten me into severe life situations.

I’m certainly not a victim. I chose to play football and have had some very good hands dealt to me. I find a way to mess it up and find chaos again.

I'm 28 years old and have reason to believe I'm currently in the early stages of CTE development. I've played contact sports like soccer since I was young, and skateboarded all through my teens and 20s, including some major concussions in that time requiring hospitalization. I had a snowboarding season just over two yrs ago where I suffered a lot of neuraltrauma from repeat falls/concussive and subconcussive impacts, none at knockout level but a few that dazed me and left me with lingering symptoms like tingling on the ends of my fingers and toes. 6 months later when I was still in recovery, I was violently assaulted with many hits to the front of my head and temple.
Ever since, I have dealt with a near constant brain fog, varying levels of fatigue, feelings of overstimulation and minor/occasional difficulties socializing or following movie dialogue or reading. I have (had!!) a good brain and notice that my processing has taken a hit. Also some difficulty in short term memory, remembering words, light speech issues/slurring or tripping over my sentence slightly. More recently I noticed that my hand-eye coordination was a bit worse with dropping/not picking things up properly. Thankfully I haven't noticed any behavioural changes yet.
I had a big weekend a couple weeks back celebrating friends birthdays/going away, and ever since I have had this constant headache unlike any that I'm really familiar with. It feels deeper, like it could be a migraine but it's quite light. More annoying than painful. Every day I wake up it feels like it has moved a few cm to a slightly different spot in my head. Painkillers seem to mask it not take it away. Feels like a rot deep in my brain type shit.
I want to stress that I am currently still pretty functional and all these symptoms are (at this stage) very light. I work, hang out with my friends, make music, do pretty much exactly what I've always done. However, my battery for activities is lower, I get tired earlier, and the dawn of my potential brain disease has made me feel so hopeless about everything.
I would also love to hear everyone's recommendation on prolonging/slowing down the inevitable decline. I really love life and I'm beating myself up about being so fucking aloof regarding brain trauma.

For me.... when I go to my room "early" or "randomly", I'm not trying to avoid or isolate. I'm trying to recharge from over stimulation.

I use Kirkland Extra Stength Energy Shots. Equivalent to 5-hour energy or a strong energy drink each. 230mg caffeine, taurine, guarana, B-vitamins. I’ve used caffeine pills in the past, but I find the other stuff in the energy drinks helps level out the intensity of the caffeine. My Energy Shots are <$1 each, so they’re the cheapest option I can tolerate. I hate coffee.

My cat eats at 8:45 am, so I’m usually awake to feed her or shortly thereafter out of habit.

I take half an energy shot (115mg caffeine) and go back to sleep for another 1-3 hours.

Throughout the rest of the day, I consume the other half almost every day and some days as much as 2 more; I’m successful in limiting my intake to 3 energy shots/day, on the higher end when I’m socializing, like playing Magic: the Gathering at the local game store.

CTE can only be diagnosed posthumously. My primary diagnosis is Schizoaffective Disorder, and my therapist agrees that ADHD is a factor, though not severe enough to merit Adderall or similar, especially with a psychotic diagnosis. I’ve had 8 concussions, head hitting behavior in childhood and teen years, and more minor impacts from sports. My last major concussion was 2.5 years ago, but I am afflicted with symptoms beyond Schizoaffective Disorder like balance issues and eye strain.

Caffeine is present in migraine medicine. Stimulants make me feel better. Anyone else?