r/FirstTimeHomeBuying

We recently surveyed 1,000 U.S. homeowners to learn how they actually feel about owning a home — not as the concept, but as a lived reality. Since this community is mostly millennials, one finding stood out that we think a lot of you will relate to (and/or rage about):

61.2% of homeowners now agree that the wealth gap is so large that parental help has gone from a bonus to a requirement for buying a home.

And the wild part? That belief is shared — and that number is nearly identical — across every generation:

• Millennials: 62.2%
• Gen X: 63.1%
• Baby boomers: 62.5%

Basically everyone agrees the bar exists. The problem is clearing it — because only 39.7% of homeowners say they actually have the resources to help their kids buy a home. The other 60.3% don't.

So we've reached a strange consensus: parental help is the new price of entry… but most parents can't pay it.

A few other hard-hitting survey takeaways for the millennial crowd:

• Only 18.5% of homeowners say homeownership has fully delivered on its promise as a cornerstone of the American Dream. A combined 36.4% say it's largely or completely fallen short.
• When asked to describe the American Dream in one word, "broken" was the top answer among millennials (26.2%) — more than any other generation.
• 12.3% of millennials describe owning their home as more of an obligation than an achievement (vs. 10.7% overall). The pride is still there, but it's fading with each generation.

The part that surprised us most:

Baby boomers — the generation that supposedly "won" at homeownership — are actually the most pessimistic about it as a system. 

They're:

• The only generation whose top word for the dream is "eroding" (37.9%)
• The least likely to say it fully delivered (13.8%), and 
• The most worried they'll burn through retirement savings before they can help their kids buy a home (62.5%).

The difference seems to come down to the why. Baby boomers watched something decline. Millennials feel like they inherited something that was already broken. Same conclusion, different road to it.

What we keep coming back to:

There's a weird generational agreement happening here. Nobody thinks the current system works — not the people who benefited from it, and not the people trying to break into it. But there's still no consensus on what to do about it.

So, we're curious what this community thinks:

• Did you get parental help to buy your home? Do you think you needed it?
• If you're a parent, do you feel the pressure to help your kids buy a home — and can you?
• Is "broken" the right word to describe the system, or is it just "different" now?

How does this match (or contradict) your experience? 

(Methodology: 1,000 U.S. homeowners ages 18+, balanced to Census data, surveyed through AYTM in June 2026. Millennials counted as ages 25–44, Gen X 45–64, Baby boomers 65–79.)

To give context, my wife and I are both 25, currently living in the Denver metro area, renting a 1 bed 1 bath apartment for $1,820 a month. (Space is tight haha).

• My income is $6,848 gross $5,088 net
• My wife's income is $5,003 gross $3,273 net
• Combined gross $11,852
• Combined net $8,362

We have zero debt

Current budget

• Utilities 150
• Insurance 327
• Internet 100
• Gas 232
• Groceries 500
• Dining Out 200
• Phone bill 120
• House supplies 120
• Other needs 320
• Gifts 100
• Wants 600 (300 each)
• Savings / investing 3773

We have 125k in savings / personal investments.

• Most of the cash is in Fidelity's FXAIX with 25k in a HYSA for an emergency fund

My employer and my personal contributions each month to my 401A are $1,301 a month

My wife's employer and her personal contributions to her 401K Roth are $375 a month

Now to the real question ... Rent or Buy

To preface, we are not looking at gated communities or high end areas, we are just looking for a decent home 3 - 4 bedroom home in a safe neighborhood in the Denver metro area.

With the current rates, and home values a $500,000 home with 20% down gets us to roughly a $3,200-$3,400 (all in) mortgage payment depending on HOA.

Of course, what we want in a home is in the 600-650k range but that puts us at $3,800-$4,400 or more a month all in.

If were being financially wise, dedicating roughly 38% - 50% or more of our net income is a no go.

We've looked at townhome's and condo's, but with the monthly HOA fees, specialty assessment's, reserves, poor market performance, ect. it doesn't seem like a wise option even if we put 70k-100k down and have a really low payment because we'd most likely have a hard time selling and be stuck with a property no one wants which has almost all of our net worth inside of it. Not to mention, we don't really want to buy either of these two options, we'd much rather buy a home.

As for renting, the current apartment we're at is very cheap, and we get what we pay for ... an old building.

We need more space and the room for children in the near future. We're currently looking at a 2 bed 2 bath apartment for $2,475 a month, Yes, it's a huge jump, and $500 - $800 away from a 500k home mortgage. The only difference is we're not in debt half a million dollars and in a home we settled for because of affordability and not what we wanted.

The reason for the price increase is because it's in an area we want to be in, and truthfully, we want something nice and that has good amenities. It's not a top of the line luxury apartment complex, but it is on the higher end.

With this apartment upgrade, were still able to sav 30k-37k a year.

Not only do I care about monthly payment, but financial freedom, stress free, happiness, ect. are all way more important than owning a home just to own a home.

The current plan is to rent for another few years, save up more, and put a whopping down payment down on a 600k - 650k home and have an affordable and comfortable payment OR even look at buying out of state where 300k - 500k can get you anything you want haha.

It may seem like we've made up our minds, and we kind of already have, but I wanted to reach out to the reddit world and hear different thought's, opinion's, and advice.

Is this a bad decision, are we making the wrong one, the right one, is there a better one? Are we missing out? Going to regret not purchasing?

Any help is much appreciated,

Thank you very much.

Feel free to ask any clarifying questions if I left anything out.

If you'd rather own, what's stopping you?

I’m a new home buyer and I’m waiting for PHFA to approve but my closing was on 08/03/26 then they said for yesterday 08/18/26 so now is for Friday 08/21/26 and I don’t know what to do because the realtor and the lender said they don’t know when is gonna be the closing date. Can someone please help me with this process please.

Okay, first time home buyer here, but in a complicated situation. We’re buying a DREAM property with my mom who is not a first time buyer. The property has two houses on it, sits on two acres, has a new barn with its own well and electric, and an acre of fenced pasture. My mom is putting down 400k from her house sale and we are financing the rest. We originally offered to meet their asking price of 529k but then upped it to 538 to include a tractor and zero turn mower. Everyone’s stoked. BUT THEN the septic was inspected. We were told “it’ll never back up on you but that’s because it drains straight into a stream behind the septic field” and it was proved with a dye test.

How do we handle this?? Do we just straight up ask them to replace it? That’s the solution the inspector gave (and thankfully he’s typing up a report for us today). We do not have the money to do it ourselves. We’ve already maxed out on what we can do, financially. We’ve been told by multiple sources (the first plumber who looked and the PSMA inspector) that it’s a $30k fix. It would need a sand mound. Also keep it mind, none of us have ever had septic before and don’t have a lot of knowledge other than what we’ve learned lately (although my husband has the most of the three of us). Help!!

What is the best, easiest, and smartest way to go about buying a home for the first time? Is there any good way to do it with little to nothing for the down payment? Certain banks/lenders that are the best or to avoid?

I’m considering buying my first home, but honestly, the whole process feels a little intimidating. When I see mortgage payments of $2,000 jumping to $3,000+ a month and hear stories of people finding major issues with their homes after closing, it makes me nervous about making the wrong decision. I’m still undecided on exactly where I want to buy, but I would really appreciate advice from people who have already gone through the home-buying process. How much would you recommend having saved before buying, outside of the down payment? What are some things you wish you knew before closing? Are there certain inspections, fees, closing costs, or other expenses that first-time buyers tend to overlook? Basically, if you could go back and give yourself advice before buying your first home, what would you tell yourself?

Just browsing Zillow, look for something we could maybe afford and just about every single house in our area is $250K and up, PENDING! WTF, I feel like I fucked up somewhere in my life. What do people do for a living that they can afford a mortgage on a quarter million dollar house? Help me understand what I’m doing wrong. These aren’t huge houses either. 1000sqft on less than a quarter of an acre. Clearly I fucked up.

Owning a home isn’t just about building equity—it may also offer valuable tax advantages, including:

✅ Mortgage interest deductions
✅ Property tax deductions
✅ Possible deductions for eligible mortgage points
✅ Tax credits for certain energy-efficient improvements
✅ Potential exclusion of up to $250,000 in profit when selling your primary home—or up to $500,000 for qualifying married couples filing jointly

Tax benefits vary based on your income, filing status, and whether you itemize deductions, so always speak with a qualified tax professional about your individual situation.

#Homeownership #TaxBenefits #HomebuyerTips #BuildEquity #CaliforniaMortgageGirl #MortgageTips #RealEstate

I see a lot of advice about how much to save for a down payment, but not nearly as much about what should still be sitting in the bank after closing.

If someone could put more down but doing so would leave them with very little cash afterward, is that usually a mistake?

For example, would you rather:

• put 20% down and have only $5k–$10k left, or
• put 10%–15% down and keep $25k–$40k in reserves?

Curious how people here think about the balance between lower monthly payment and keeping a real emergency cushion after closing.

Hi property chatters - I'm an Australian journalist working on a story about the property market and looking to speak to a first home buyer currently in the process of searching for their first home. If you're interested in sharing your journey - please let me know and I can tell you more about the story. All the best with your house hunting! Cheers

Two months of house hunting, saw 5-6 homes, found “the one” — Toll Brothers single house plan near ATL suburbs, checks every box (price, layout, location). Problem: the specific lots we want haven’t released yet, no timeline given. Sales agent says we can only offer once released, and only if pre-approved through Toll Brothers Mortgage specifically — so she wants us to pre-approve now to be ready.

Questions:

**1.** Is requiring pre-approval with the builder’s own lender, before lots even release, normal for new construction?
**2.** Any room to negotiate price/lot premium with builders, or is flexibility usually limited to closing costs/upgrade credits?
**3.** First home ever, no contract seen yet, nothing negotiated — are we moving too fast, or is this a reasonable pace?

4. The plan we are interested in has an unfinished basement and Toll brothers won’t finish it even if paid extra, can anybody help in understanding as unfinished basement?

Anyone dealt with Toll Brothers or similar pre-release situations? Trying to avoid a rookie mistake.

Edit: We plan to do a pre drywall inspection and one before closing. Will that help us out to avoid or prevent alteast some of the general toll brother complaints?

Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but my partner and I fell in love with a beautiful home for sale in our ideal neighborhood. It’s right next to the lake and has 270 degree unobstructed views of the mountains and water. Built in 1985 and listed for 1.65m so it’s a MASSIVE purchase that we’ve been saving a very long time for. In our market, this price is pretty comparable to similar homes. There is a seller inspection report but I was surprised when our real estate agent suggested we waive a buyer inspection and go in with an initial offer of 1.5m. I feel like it’s not a good idea to waive a buyer inspection esp on an older home, but I’d like to hear some other perspectives. Happy to answer any follow up questions too

With a £35,000 deposit and while earning around £32,000 a year, would it be feasible to buy a 2 bed house at £180,000.

Not sure whether to wait and save for a while for a larger deposit or a bigger house or maybe buy in the future with a partner.

Right now I am on £28k a year however I have a promotion pending which will give me a raise to £32-34k. Bills right now are about £400 a month mostly for my car payment and insurance (I live at work and pay £80 in rent). About £700 goes towards savings and the rest for random spending.

The plan was to start looking for a house next year, however, with the housing market being so weird, I'm not sure if I am rushing too much or if I should just go for it.