r/GirlPakistani

I’m looking for advice from women and from men who have been in a similar situation.

My fiancée and I have been together for several years. I love her deeply, I care about her a lot, and I genuinely don’t want to hurt her feelings—that’s why I’m asking here before saying anything to her.

Over the years, she has gained a noticeable amount of weight. Her bmi is probably around 33-34. She is aware of it and has tried to lose weight before—she did lose some at one point but later regained part of it. She goes to the gym but not consistently, and diet has been a challenge.

She is aware that she needs to lose weight, but she hasn’t been able to consistently stick to the habits needed for it. In her defense, even when she does everything right exercise and diet wise, she has trouble losing weight which becomes discouraging for her. At the same time, she seems generally confident in how she looks as she is really pretty and has great general curves. I think that may make it harder for her to feel urgency around change.

I’ve avoided bringing it up directly for a long time because I don’t want her to feel judged, insecure, or like my love depends on her appearance. At the same time, I feel like this is something that can’t just be ignored forever, especially with marriage coming up in the next 6–10 months.

I don’t want to shame her or make her feel bad about herself. I just want to understand the most respectful and least hurtful way to have an honest conversation about this—if it should be had at all.

Women: If your partner brought this up, what approach would feel least hurtful and still respectful?

Men: Have you had a similar conversation before? What worked and what made things worse? I don’t want to be one of those men and constantly remind their partner that they need to lose weight.

I just need honest advice on how to handle this properly.