r/Jokesuncensored

How it works:

1. We post today’s punchline (the answer).
2. You reply with your setup (the joke that gets there)

New punchline every day. Reply with your setup on today’s thread.

Today's punchline: They were running out of thyme

A swallow

A period piece

One turns to the other and asks “here… do I know you?” The second replies “I was about to ask you the same thing! What School did you go to?”. The first man replies “I went to St. Brendan’s from 1954 until 1960”, the second man’s eyes widen with surprise “So did I! I was in class 2!” He replies.

The first man chimes up “I was in class 2 as well! What part of Dublin are you from?” The second man says “I lived in 16 Foley street my whole life” the first man excitedly replies “what are the chances of that? I lived in number 16 Foley street!”

And all the while the poor barman thinks to himself “I hate it when the Murphy twins get drunk”

I’m going with VoltsWagen😆

Pulled up behind this as I'm leaving my apartment complex. HEY-ooooo, Good Morning! That'll wake you up.

19

One is a flat-tire cuck, the other is a Cat Friar Tuck

a man who lacks feelings.

So they could have called the movies Numb and Number.

He said nothing.

... when a small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts, like Kung-Fu, or Karate?" He says "No, why in the hell would you ask? Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little fucker."

... my kids wouldn't speak to either of us and my wife told me to pack my shit and leave