u/Healthy_Ladder_6198

The pawn shop

But i can't find it

https://preview.redd.it/aqoye33elhbh1.png?width=526&format=png&auto=webp&s=a007b885d84ff82cae6d6fb97abab4effe07dc04

https://preview.redd.it/95cc1ud9lhbh1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=756450e92f3e81467f26bf9ce1a1047ff1cdb5f2

I find I'm having postparty depression.

but I was born before chickens had fingers.

" Folks, we are cooked!"

At the emergency room, a Dr. looked into his ear, reached for forceps, and pulled a blob out of the man's ear. " Do you know what this is?" the Dr. asked the man.." No" said the man. " It's a suppository. What is a suppository doing in your ear?" said the Dr. The man replied. " Never mind that, help me get my hearing aid back!"

It’s believed they’ve skipped town

It’s fire Caucasian

Back in 1776, during the War of Independence, there were folks that remained loyal to King George III of England and were known as Tories. One such person was a spy, unbeknownst to the local Minutemen (gee, a known spy?). Each night he would sneak around the town listening in on colonialists' conversations and peeking into their homes.

One night he was seen through the window and the owner ran out to try to apprehend the spy. But the spy wasn't found. But then there came a ruckus from the neighbor's chicken coop. The alarm was raised and a search party entered the coop but they couldn't find the spy.

As they were leaving, one of the roosters started crowing, even though it was late in the evening, and pecking at the ground covered in straw. The searchers raked away the straw and found the spy hiding.

For it's help in catching the spy the townspeople decreed that the rooster should never be subjected to the oven and they posted a proclamation to that effect to honor the first chicken to catch a Tory.

I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

https://preview.redd.it/ef1ai3ds13bh1.png?width=526&format=png&auto=webp&s=665667bba4e545f7e19fa85d6ac561d7f34bbae9

Was told to push 3 for Bird life, push 4 for Fish life, or hold on for Deer life.

Before I called her back, my aunt called and told me that my cousin was lying and not to give her the money.
She goes on to say that the real reason my cousin wanted the $300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday.

I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the $300.00 because we all need help at times.
So, I called my cousin and told her to come and get the money.

A couple of hours later, I get a call from the jailhouse, it was my cousin crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money.

I told her “so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!”

https://preview.redd.it/qyuepyc8x2bh1.png?width=487&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe4b614d895c3b8b133a30f10624b8816f5a8a6b

Needless to say,on the next shot I had to swing low.

I suggested Kaye and Elle

But when I do do I’m a “drunk” and no longer welcome at the aquarium