▲ 63 r/cleanjokes
I placed a small picture of America in a locket this 4th of July.
Now, it is truly in-da-pendant.
u/lnc_gomes — 14 hours ago
r/cleanjokes
▲ 99 r/cleanjokes
My girlfriend left me because she said I'm too condescending
I told her "Wow, condescending, that's a big word. Where'd you learn that?"
u/Coralthesequel — 1 day ago
▲ 76 r/cleanjokes
A postman's wife asks him why he works so hard for such dirt pay
He says "It's not about the money. It's about sending a message"
u/Coralthesequel — 1 day ago
▲ 37 r/cleanjokes
Two astronauts are having lunch
One says "I can't find the mayonnaise"
The other says "In space, no one can. Here, use cream"
u/Coralthesequel — 1 day ago
▲ 53 r/cleanjokes
So I went into the florists this morning and said: "Do you have tulips?"
She said: "Yes and two eyes, two ears and a nose."
u/lnc_gomes — 1 day ago
▲ 25 r/cleanjokes
What did the elderly pirate say on his birthday?
I'm eighty
u/Coralthesequel — 1 day ago
▲ 151 r/cleanjokes
I told the doctor that I'd like to do my own stitches.
He said, Suture self
u/lnc_gomes — 3 days ago
▲ 5 r/cleanjokes
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
He had so much potential.
u/SheldonE65 — 2 days ago
▲ 39 r/cleanjokes
Years ago, a friend of mine fell in love with a poster and got married
You should check out the cute little postcards they had
u/Jazzlike_Way3801 — 2 days ago
▲ 191 r/cleanjokes
What do you call a monkey holding a fire cracker?
A Baboom!
u/lnc_gomes — 4 days ago
▲ 84 r/cleanjokes
I always give 100% at my job...
13% on Monday, 22% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday
u/Banana_Leclerc9 — 4 days ago
▲ 30 r/cleanjokes
I think it’s time to start a 4-H club for us seniors.
The new words will be: Hot, Humid, Hazy, and Hellish.
u/lnc_gomes — 4 days ago
▲ 151 r/cleanjokes
At what temperature does car engines work best at?
Vroom temperature.
u/Left-Distribution-13 — 5 days ago
▲ 88 r/cleanjokes
How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?
It's a little meteor.
u/lnc_gomes — 5 days ago
▲ 159 r/cleanjokes
Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother...
Sudden Lee
u/lnc_gomes — 6 days ago
▲ 138 r/cleanjokes
I have a chicken proof lawn…
Its impeccable…
u/Left-Distribution-13 — 6 days ago
▲ 16 r/cleanjokes
When the creator of the Marvel Universe died, they cremated him and pressed his ashes in a comic book. Then they sent that book to fans around the world.
From then on, he was known as Flat Stan Lee.
u/ThimbleBluff — 5 days ago
▲ 71 r/cleanjokes
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way...
Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
u/Banana_Leclerc9 — 7 days ago