▲ 78 r/cleanjokes
I went into a shoe shop and asked to see a pair of loafers.
The salesperson brought down the general manager and the chief accountant.
u/lnc_gomes — 17 hours ago
r/cleanjokes
▲ 137 r/cleanjokes
I’m no longer dyeing my hair.
I’ve decided to age graysfully.
u/lnc_gomes — 1 day ago
▲ 64 r/cleanjokes
What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
He cracked up.
u/Left-Distribution-13 — 2 days ago
▲ 230 r/cleanjokes
Why was the baby jalapeño shivering?
He was a little chili!
u/Left-Distribution-13 — 3 days ago
▲ 32 r/cleanjokes
This morning I was telling my kids about all my childhood pets. I had a turtle named AL, two rabbits both named AL, my dog AL, and three cats: AL, AL, and AL. I begged my parents for another few pets, but they refused. My son piped up, “No duh! They knew you were collecting just to name them AL.”
I said, “Well, yeah… that’s the more AL of the story.”
u/ilikesidehugs — 2 days ago
▲ 75 r/cleanjokes
Paul Bunyan sold his book rights on lumberjacking, but wasn’t paid much.
He only received a Paul tree sum.
u/lnc_gomes — 3 days ago
▲ 75 r/cleanjokes
Why couldn’t the pasta get into his apartment?
Gnoccis
u/CanadianTurnt — 3 days ago
▲ 84 r/cleanjokes
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese
u/Clerc-miles — 4 days ago
▲ 43 r/cleanjokes
WHAT IS THE STRAP USED TO HOLD a saddle on a horse called?
C'mon Punsters, it's not difficult to guess, it's a cinch!
u/lnc_gomes — 4 days ago
▲ 230 r/cleanjokes
Why do birds and pigs go to different doctors?
Because birds need tweetment and pigs need oinkment
u/SinisterRogers — 4 days ago
▲ 24 r/cleanjokes
Why didn't Archimedes stick with one woman?
Because he discovered the principle of leave her.
u/dcterr — 3 days ago
▲ 151 r/cleanjokes
EVEN IF YOU PUT Underwear AND Jeans on a Bear, it will, well, it will ALWAYS have a...
Bear bottom.
u/lnc_gomes — 5 days ago
I have been trying to eat right and exercise to lose weight, but
my shampoo is giving me extra body.
u/ManyWordsNoMeaning — 5 days ago
▲ 374 r/cleanjokes
I asked the librarian for a book about turtles…
"Hard back?" She asks.
"Yes" I replied "and tiny heads"
u/Left-Distribution-13 — 6 days ago
▲ 48 r/cleanjokes
Couldn’t decide which Japanese car to buy.
It was between a Toyota, a Mazda, a Honda… but I went with the Nissan, altimately.
u/WTFaulknerinCA — 5 days ago
▲ 57 r/cleanjokes
Try not to sneeze in public.
People will turn and stare…
achoo.
u/lnc_gomes — 6 days ago
▲ 89 r/cleanjokes
What is a skeletons favorite instrument
A trom-bone
u/SilverKnight1921 — 7 days ago
▲ 292 r/cleanjokes
My grandfather walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast, so I asked, “Who's this guy?” My grandfather explained...
"That’s my hip replacement!"
u/808gecko808 — 8 days ago
▲ 378 r/cleanjokes
what’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Meow!
u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 — 9 days ago