r/MLPShitposts

Artist is nikeshka.

Also thank ye hearties for the chaos and fun on moralityscaling!

Also also I have been awake for 18 hours so now I sleep.

https://derpibooru.org/images/3027990

Well, it was a disaster. But, was I gonna say no. Of course not, she was so excited about the rush of doing it in public. "Could you imagine; the Princess of Firendship, getting caught like that" she said.

And I agree, the rush is amazing. Just, the bushes? It was a bad call. We didn't think that through all the way.

We found a great spot. Right on the edge of ponyville, not to many ponies around; well enough for it to be fun anyway. And everything was going great, right up until her mane got caught on that branch. I honestly don't understand how she got that stuck that fast. And her tail got caught too, trying to get her unstuck. It was a whole thing. She eventually just had to teleport out. Needless to say, we just went back to the castle after that.

So... Yeah, that was our afternoon. Anyway, we're gonna go hop in the shower now. We have some unfinished business to attend to. That wet mare smell drives me crazy, and she knows it too.

I don't usually do fan-fic/role play type stuff. This was just rattling around in my head this morning. Am I any good at it?

I'd like to see Starlight impale a 40oz can with her horn, then chug the can through the hole until it's empty. Then, she would proceed to crush the can between her hoof and her head.

After this display, she would see me: a twerpy, straw of a man, with long hair and fair complexion. Starlight, using her magic to hold the shotgun, proceeds to come up behind me and throw a hoof around my neck. The other hoof is on my chest, and is occasionally used to point out details regarding the shotgun, or to direct my chin when I attempt to look elsewhere.

Her beer reeking breath perfumes my face, as her lips are but inches from my cheek. With a rosy complexion, she smiles a fox-like, devious grin. A trickle of backwash beer glistens in the light and catches my attention. As the sparkling dew trails down her throat and traces the contours of her body, I feel myself flush at the thoughts stirring in my mind.

Though clearly intoxicated, Starlight is perceptive to my waning attention. She giggles, and pulls the gun close to my vision, the proceeds to exclaim:

"This big boy... *giggles* is the Winchester model 1897-" As she speaks, I can feel her grip around my neck tighten. She presses her face against mine. Now cheek to cheek, I flush with heat; both in my face and elsewhere. As she continues with "designed by John Browning, himself. Chambered in God's favorite number-"

I hardly hear her, for as she speaks; her free hoof wanders from my chest, and trails its way downward. "Slam-fire capabilities-" She goes lower. "Takedown model" Lower still. "Trench gun" Until her hoof rests below my navel and hovers slightly inside my waistband. Like a hot iron pressed on my abdomen, I practically glow from the heat. My trousers press hard against me, as I rapidly fill the space inside them.

On the edge of passing out and the edge of something else, she take the hoof from my shoulder. Pressing it to my sweaty cheek, she guides my face towards her. All but nose to snout, she locks eyes with me, my swimming vision is met with hers: a burning, predatory urge, a desirous hunger that grows with each collective beat of our hearts. She says it, the final thing before the end, and with almost a gasp she exclaims "...and the pump..." as she parts her lips and embraces mine. Her mouth, feeling like bliss given flesh; as her tongue refuses to hold back. The lingering taste of beer still haunting her saliva as it gushes into my mouth.

At that same moment, her words still echo in my mind "...and the pump..." as her hoof continues its journey into the damp, musky domain of my throbbing loins. At the mere press of her bare hoof against my manhood; I find climax to the repeated echo of her words "...and the pump..." As I continue to rhythmically spill forth my seed into the pad of her hoof.

At the wet touch of ejaculate, Starlight nips playfully at my adventuring tongue. I pant and pulse like a dysfunctional machine, in the throws of my ecstasy. I teeter, and step backwards; unexpectedly slipping on an empty beer can discarded on the ground. I lose purchase and fall, bringing Starlight with me. Now atop me, she squeals as we impact with the grass, both stunned for a moment. Until, catching eyes for a moment; we heartily laugh at the transpired events.

Starlight rests her head on my chest, hearing my heart still hammer just beneath. She sighs, then gently places her gun onto the ground. "You're such a loser" she states, giggling. I chuckle, and we lay there for a moment longer before she rises to her feet. I sit up, and she says "how about we get a couple beers and go back to my place... I've still got the rest of my collection to show you..." With that final line, she looks back at me, her ass faving towards me. With a smirk, she raises her tail to reveal her bikini bottom, now practically transparent with wetness. I gulp and stumble out the word "s-sure, let's go..." She giggles once more, and teases "yes, let's..."