I'm genuinely getting so sick of "the process"
I finished a one-shot way back in January of this year. I've submitted it to Viz Originals, the Kadokawa and Kodansha manga competitions for this year, and the Kadokawa Mochikomi program. Nothing has come out of it; Viz Originals never responded, the awards for Kadokawa are taking an agonizingly long time to come out (and considering the sheer quality of the artwork for the works that won the Wordless Manga competition last year it feels like there is legitimately no way for a rookie like me to succeed at all), and it seems increasingly likely I'll never hear back for my portfolio review with Mochikomi.
It'd be one thing if I was rejected from these and at least heard some feedback as to why I was rejected. Learn more about where I need to improve and how I can do that. But it seems even this was too much, like I'm not even worth critiquing. It almost feels like I did all that work on my one-shot for literally nothing. The silence is completely deafening and there's no way I can make it stop. It's literally no better than applying for jobs, but I don't even have a degree to back up my work this time around.
It's just genuinely so disheartening. I literally dreamed that I finally got a review from Kadokawa a few nights ago. Whenever I read a manga I try to see if there's any info about how the author became a mangaka in the first place. I've even found myself reading the old one-shots of famous mangaka that won them awards (e.g Oda, Kubo, Hokazono, Fujimoto) and thinking about all the ways that (I think) my work is as good or even better.
Edit: I've received a lot of great feedback from this thread. My deepest gratitude for doing so honestly.