Dr. Risling Baldy explains how this tradition prevents teen suicide, educates young women about domestic abuse, and addresses patriarchy.
Through the flower ceremony in particular, young women are honored at a time when the broader American society sends them messages that they are dirty, gross, and “lesser than” males.
A question I always keep getting asked is: why, and what do we stand for?
We do want equality, and what person in their right mind wouldn’t want that? I used to believe that it could be achieved in the next generation because previous generations were much more backward. But as I grew up, went out, and met people from various backgrounds, I noticed that even guys as young as me still had so much patriarchy in them. Constantly making women uncomfortable, objectifying them, or not taking their concerns seriously — and that’s something I’m not okay with at all.
It’s not right that 50% of our population lives under the constant fear of r@pe and SA. They have to think twice before going out at night. And the question was: can the current system fix this in 100 years? The answer is sadly NO.
The politicians are too patriarchal, and they themselves have committed a lot of r@pes and murders, so it’s not realistic to believe the system can fix that. All the parties internally are too patriarchal for any woman to function freely. Even other institutions like courts have patriarchal roots.
Comparing current female leaders to a matriarchal or female-centric government wouldn’t be the right idea because they still operate under heavily patriarchal systems. Everything required for a government to function is patriarchal — the bureaucracy, the courts, the officials, law enforcement, and even their own political parties and MPs. A successful leader has to take everyone together to run a country and also protect her own political career.
So now what’s the solution? Should we just leave things as they are and hope maybe in the next 500 years we can achieve equality? Though I highly doubt that as well.
The solution I generally advocate for is a 60–40 female-to-male split in every decision-making and enforcement body of the government, down to the major decision making bodies in political parties themselves. I would personally want a 70–30 split, accounting for women who support patriarchy, but 60–40 is what I can get people to agree upon, as 40% is not a small voice that can be oppressed, but also not big enough to oppress others.
We should also have reforms in courts and the overall governance machinery. I also believe there should be compulsory courses on governance, constitutional values, women’s rights, and feminism for every person who wants to contest elections as an MP or hold major public office.
Now, if we have this system for 150 years or so, I believe that after that there should be a psychological shift in how men see women — not as incompetent, but as leaders and equals.
Some ask me, “Would you be okay with a 100% female reservation in governance?” And if I speak my mind, I’m very okay with that as well for a few hundred years, if there are some checks and balances in place like a written constitution, an independent judiciary with a 50–50 split, and other than that, life should remain normal.
That would make the process much faster, and I personally believe it can even help bring more attention and budget toward human development rather than military spending and wars, which will benefit society as a whole — men and women alike.
One of the strongest signs of how deeply patriarchy is rooted in society is when women themselves begin defending the very systems that limit, shame, silence, or endanger them. From childhood, girls are taught to “adjust,” stay quiet, tolerate disrespect, fear judgment, prioritize male comfort, and see sacrifice as virtue.
When generations grow up inside the same structure, those beliefs stop feeling forced and start feeling “normal.” That is how conditioning works.
This is not about blaming women for surviving within the system they were born into. It is about recognizing how powerful social conditioning can be, and why real change requires more than just laws — it requires changing the culture, family structures, leadership, and the way future generations are raised.
A truly female-centric society would not teach women to shrink themselves for acceptance. It would normalize women’s safety, authority, independence, and freedom from the beginning.
Hi everyone,
Inspired by the 4B movement and South Korean feminist networks, I want to start a practical, everyday solidarity network in my local area (in Germany).
To be clear: I am not a professional or a therapist. I don't want to start an official crisis center or offer trauma counseling. I want to respect my boundaries and keep the entry barrier as low as possible.
Instead, I want to create a everyday network for women.
I’m thinking of practical things like:
• Skill-Sharing: Learning how to drill, fix things, or build furniture together so we don't have to depend on men.
• Safety in Public Spaces: Training ourselves in basic bystander intervention (e.g., if a woman is harassed, we step in as a group) and organizing safe walks home at night.
• Everyday Help: A secure group chat to share needs and offers (e.g., "Who can accompany me to a scary appointment?" or "Who has a truck to help me move?").
My goal is simply to break isolation and build collective strength in our daily lives.
Do any of you have experience starting something like this from scratch?
Or do you have any ideas in general?
• How did you host your first meeting without a budget?
• How did you keep the space safe while keeping it accessible?
• Any tips on spreading the word effectively in a neighborhood?
I’d love to hear your stories and advice. We are so much stronger together!
Thank you so much! 🖤
For centuries, women have been labeled as “too emotional” to lead, govern, or make rational decisions, while men were portrayed as the naturally logical gender. Yet when we look at many of the most violent crimes driven by ego, rejection, anger, or entitlement, they are overwhelmingly committed by men.
Acid attacks, honor killings, sexual violence, gang wars, road rage, and countless acts of brutality are often rooted in uncontrolled emotion — just normalized differently because society associates male anger with strength instead of emotional instability.
Maybe the real issue was never women being “too emotional”. This is also why many people today are beginning to question patriarchal systems and explore more female-centric models of leadership and governance. A gynarchic or female-centered society is not about hatred toward men, but about building systems that prioritize empathy, safety, accountability, and the wellbeing of women rather than rewarding aggression and domination.
First of all, hello there everyone! I joined the community out of an interest in the discussion topic, I am big time lover of history and as such I have of course learned about matriarchal societal structures. The rise of the patriarchy was obviously the result of violent coordination between men, so I can't really say that it seems like we randomly got the short end of the stick, but more like we didn't get the chance to pick for ourselves.
Anyways, I just wanted to give a little introduction of how I ended up here before I dove into the topic that I am here about specifically. I consider myself a feminist, I'm a socialist (at least), and have been really doing the mental work to switch my brain away from a mode of patriarchal thinking. I won't lie, it isn't easy at all, it takes active effort but it seems like it's worth it. I don't know if I was being complacent, I thought I was doing a decent job until I discovered the term androcentrism.
Needless to say, reading the Wikipedia entry on it while not necessarily groundbreaking in some ways, opened my eyes to just how naive I think I was. So much of who we are foundationally, what is ingrained into us before we even know what politics is, hell before we can even string together a decent sentence, is riven with a certain latent level of misogyny(? - is androcentrism misogyny in and of itself, or the results of misogyny?). To say that I was devastated would be an understatement.
So now I've been sitting here all night reading about what androcentrism is and all of the different ways it manifests itself. I'm thinking a good start would be to pick up the book Invisible Women as it is mentioned a lot in the Wikipedia entry. I guess I'm basically here to ask the women here if this is an issue for them? Does it bother them? Would a man trying to correct himself on these things come across as purely performative, or would it be something you'd appreciate seeing men talk about more?
I really appreciate everyone that takes enough time to read this and offer me a helping hand.