r/MilitaryWomen

Hi y’all, I’m currently a 19 yr old female and just finished my first year of college. I enjoyed college, but I’m having a rough situation with my family and I’ve been seriously considering joining the military. My main goal is to be out of the house and completely financially independent (among other reasons).

My original plan was to apply to nursing school, but school has gotten so tiring. I am genuinely so burnt out from my first year that I feel like if I go back right now, my grades and mental health will really reflect it. On top of that, I’m also going through an extremely rough breakup and other stressful life situations.

As much as I love my family, my mom can be extremely controlling and limiting in my life choices. I’m an only child, so I understand her need to protect me, but a lot of the things she does are just too much and it’s messing with my mental health. For example, when she came into my room at 1 AM and heard me on the phone with a guy, she tweaked out and threatened to withdraw me from college. She claimed that if I keep living this way I'll never graduate, and even called me names. Now, because I won't be living with a roommate next school year, she is threatening to put a camera inside my college apartment to monitor me. On top of that, whenever I make a bad grade, she freaks out and threatens to stop paying for my tuition.. which is why I feel so chained down, since I don't have that kind of money on my own rn.
If I join the military, I can still always go back to college later, but this time it’ll be entirely in my hands and paid for with my own money.

I’ve thought about the Coast Guard because it seems the most rewarding to me and has “better” bases/stations. I’m not sure which rate would be the best fit yet, but I have thought about HS because of my background and interest in nursing. I’ve thought about other branches as well, especially for healthcare roles, since I understand the Coast Guard doesn’t have as many options in that field.

Do you guys have any recommendations or suggestions for my situation? I really dk what to do.

Side note: I am familiar with the military and have seriously thought about a profession in this, so Im not just saying i want to join to “escape.” I applied and got a Navy Nurse NROTC scholarship my senior yr of high school, but ofc, my mom made me reject it because she didn’t want me joining the military.

So I know the military has standards for hair styles and colors that are “in regs” but there’s no chance I could get some sort of natural looking calico style or under color I could get that wouldn’t have me fussed at would it? I only enlisted this year and miss having my hair dyed different colors other than black. I wouldn’t be doing any colors other than natural, like blonde, copper, etc. but wasn’t sure about actual coloring styles that I could do. TIA!

I am a 17 year old highschooler who has wanted to be a sailor in the navy for as long as I can remember, and I've been planning on enlisting straight after high school.

Recently, though, I have come across a couple of posts and articles discussing women being harassed in the military and discouraging women from enlisting.

Is harassment a common experience for women in the military? I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, as this is my greatest concern before I enlist.

Hello! I'm shipping out to Navy OCS in a little over a month and the packing list says to bring 5-7 plain sports bras designed for high-impact sports, with no logos or words.

I need to buy new ones because the sports bras I currently own either aren’t high-impact or are just old and need replacing.

Does anyone have recommendations for good high-impact sports bras that are plain/no-logo? I’d also appreciate suggestions for brands where the logos are small, subtle, or easy to remove. Or tips on how to remove logos from sports bras?

Edit: my size is 32C

Edit 2: thank you for the recommendations! and I understand that they likely won't actually look at my underwear to see if there's a small logo, but I was just trying to follow the packing list to the letter! You've dissuaded my fears about the logos for the most part!

​I just turned 27 and I’m finally in the process of joining the Marine Corps. This is something I’ve wanted for the majority of my life I did 4 years of JROTC in high school, and it’s just one of those calling things I could never shake off. Life got in the way for a while, but the stars have finally aligned and it’s my time. I’m taking my test soon (fully confident I'm going to pass!) and heading to MEPS right after.

​Now that it’s actually happening and getting real, I’m starting to get these nerves that I’ve never felt before. I know for a absolute fact this is what I want to do, so I don't think it's cold feet... maybe just pre-shipping anxiety? Did any of you ladies get like this before going?

​Also, reading through a lot of threads here, I see a lot of posts about injury, hip problems, etc., and it’s starting to get to my head a bit. Are there any females out there who went through boot camp completely fine without physical issues, and found a great MOS where you aren't constantly getting physically broken down?

​Would love to hear some positive stories, advice, or just a little reassurance that these feelings are normal. Thank you all so much! . 🙏🏼 Let's chat!

small backstory and then i’ll get into it.
(yes i posted this in r/army)

ive been in since i was 17. female in combat arms, with almost 5 years in. i always planned to just continue to re-sign for my same job because i love it, passionate about it, and dedicated. whatevs: earlier this year i got pregnant, and have now been doing a solo pregnancy, and obviously going to be a single mother, im due in November this year! when i decided to keep my son, i knew it was time to leave behind combat arms and move into a different corner of the army, because all moms have to make sacrifices and i know this will be best for us considering all the factors (family, distance, job risk etc etc). my contract is up May2027, and I was looking to sign again and reclass, sadly nothing has peaked my interest, but obviously still trying to narrow it down.

i go and talk to retention, he says i have to re-sign again before Jan2027, but because i’ll be freshly post-partum, i can’t reclass until Nov2027. he starts talking about college, certain qualifications, no slots open, E-6 and above only, and basically every question i had, was shot down with a “yeah that’s not gonna happen”. we get to a point in the conversation of “if you wanna stay in, you have to reenlist and stay in combat arms, and there’s no guarantee we’d be able to send you to any school to reclass at all” and we both agreed it was a bit of a gamble. obviously he gave me his number, and told me to narrow down some choices, but i should just pick something that “sucks the least, but won’t be combat arms”. i’m like well shit.

every part of the convo where i was like “ah yes an open door!”, the door was quickly closed. no no no no, and no to every scenario. as we’re sitting there talking i get this gut feeling of “ok well there’s your answer, it’s time to move on”. i thanked him for his time, told him i’d reach out, and left.

i enjoy being in the army, i couldn’t imagine doing anything else….but i know i wont be able to fill the role of single mom and be the same combat arms soldier i used to be, which IMO feels like a liability to other soldiers and my career field. i want to be involved with my sons life, close to my family (who are over 1,000 miles away) and see what the world has to offer. so whats the big deal? i’m terrified. everyone i’ve worked with who has gotten out is 1.) living in their moms house with no job or 2.) working minimum wage jobs and giving up on their “post army dreams” of any career they used to talk about.

i GUESS what im saying is, life after the Army? is that such a thing??? is there anyone out there that actually went to go do something after they got out? and if so, what is it? yes, i’d like to go to college, and i am someone the enjoys working, so even doing some blue collar stuff for a while is fine. i enjoy the feelings i get of manual labor and hard work.

also how the fuck do i even get out? who am i? what will i be? how is any of this possible? what are yall doing? who am i without being like “hey, my name is \_\_\_, im a soldier in the U.S. Army!” what’s my life if i’m not questioning troops on their shave job at 0600????????

maybe i’m looking for hope idk? guidance? or someone to be like “yeah this is what i do, no i don’t live in my moms basement, and no i don’t work at burger king and play videos into the wee hours of the night, it’s totally possible to get out and still stay a float in the civilian world”

idk man at this point ill take some crumbs. oh, and a chili mac MRE…maybe the grape drink mix if you have it.

Things with my ex ended a few months ago. Before it did, he physically abused me. I never reported it but it has haunted me for the entire time. It feels wrong not to speak up and I dont know what to do! I have pictures of where he punched me on my ribs area and bruising on my chest and arm! I dont know what to do! Should I just move on with my life because this is all pointless?? Or do I speak up even though his rank is high

hope everyone is having a good day
im shipping to navy bootcamp soon and i have somewhat straight/wavy hair and a lot of hair so i was wondering what are your favorite recommendations to keep fly aways at bay

i can wear a bun all day long, its mostly for the partition/front of my face

Hey yall, I'm about to ship to army bct soon. I was wondering if a ponytail is ok during bct while with in the pts or acus (except for dress uniforms). I'm having a hard time making a bun since my hair is a bit short, but can I just wear a ponytail in bct for most of the time?

Hey. I’m stationed overseas at the moment. My job is Air Transportation which is already a pain lol. I’m dealing with ways to remain positive, spite the chapter I’m in. I’m a 19 year old female, and I know I have long ways to grow. However, it stems from me not liking my job and well…my Sgts. My Sgts are a pain. Which yes, is normal I know. The workplace is just so tense, it feels like I can’t even make one mistake. If you do, you get paperwork. I’m still learning and growing everyday, living on my own (in the dorms) for the first time. Additionally, outside of work, It just seems like every time something bad happens, something even worse comes. I just need advice on how to stay positive and not stress so much, please.

P.S.
To de-stress; I journal, hang out with friends, eat food, and travel. Yet the only thing I can think about all the time is me fucking up at work. Or the fear of screwing up on something.

Seeking toxic exposure list

I’m going on my first TDY since becoming a mom is coming up, and I’m struggling with it more than I expected.

I’ll be leaving my 21 month old with my husband, and his parents so he’ll be well cared for. But I’ll be gone for 5 weeks, thousands of miles away with a six hour time difference.

I’m usually the one who does bedtime, mornings, co-sleeps with him, and nurses before bed and before wake-up. This trip will probably be the end of our breastfeeding journey, and I don’t know if I’m more worried about him or about me.

I want to do brief once a day FaceTime but my husband thinks regular FaceTime might make baby upset and start looking for me.

For those who’ve done a TDY, school, deployment, or other long separation from a toddler:

- Did you FaceTime?
- Did it help or make things harder?
- Did your child seem to understand where you went? And that you won’t be back for awhile?
- How was the reunion when you got home?

And please be honest—did your toddler forget about you, even temporarily? That’s probably my biggest fear right now.