r/RPLnoLC

I am 31, turning 32 soon, and I have had 2 miscarriages this year (January and June). I finally got in to see my obgyn yesterday and I’m feeling pretty bummed about the appointment. My doctor kept saying that everything is probably fine, and that we don’t need to be super aggressive with testing. I just need to keep trying. I understand where she is coming from but I also am very worried about wasting more time. I’ve always wanted to be a mom 😭

Also I may be more sensitive because my younger sister is pregnant and I had to plan her baby shower (which was last weekend). And my due date from my first pregnancy is tomorrow 🫠

I’m not sure what I am looking for here. Just a little vent or some advice about what I should ask the doctor for. Also how best to ask because I really struggled with getting emotional during my conversation with the doctor and I did not do my best self advocacy

28F, 3 MC. MCs were 9/24, 1/25 (MMC and D&C), 7/25. Wanted to be a mom my whole life. Currently just restarted RPL testing after taking a long break due to a bad experience with our previous provider and a lot of non-RPL related life hardships.

The break was kind of nice. It sucks to be back in this world. But I wasn’t fully ready to let it go. Part of me wants to be done. This pain is unbearable.

Anyways, I’m just here to say that nobody gets it. Literally nobody. I just broke up with my therapist because they said that A) there’s many paths to parenthood, including adoption and B) I shouldn’t still be crying so much about this, I’m not processing my grief well…

Been seeing them for a few weeks and this was the literal first appointment I had even talked about RPL… I never talk about it with anyone bc they always say something awful… proven correct yet again. I don’t want to hear about adoption. Fuck off. I’m fully aware. Am I not allowed to mourn THIS thing that’s happening to me now? Why is that not allowed?

Then when at a friends house this past weekend (who knows exactly what we’re going through) we were talking about how happy we were because we deep cleaned our house and they said our house was only clean because we don’t have kids. And they have kids and the same number of pregnancies as they do kids! Imagine! Yep. Thanks. I’d love to have a messy house and not dead babies, but yeah. Awesome observation.

And I posted an exciting random thing on my IG story (nothing serious, just opened a snack pack that had an extra one in it) and my cousin responded they thought it’d be an ultrasound pic with how excited I was. What the fuck. Idk if they know (my mom doesn’t respect my wishes and tells people against my will) but even if they don’t, why the fuck would you say that to anyone ever at any point.

Oh and some asshat brought their baby into our new fertility clinic waiting room. So thoughtful.

I’m just so sick of everyone minimizing and downplaying this horrific thing. I hate that I have to go through it. I hate it all.

Has anyone participated in the HOPE study for RPL and found it to be helpful? We just had our third euploid biochemical pregnancy with no explanation. Our doctor reached out to all the other Shady Grove doctors and no one has any clue what is wrong. We have done all the tests and treatments that are indicated. She is going to see if we are a candidate for this study.