u/PassengerOwn7402

28F, 3 MC. MCs were 9/24, 1/25 (MMC and D&C), 7/25. Wanted to be a mom my whole life. Currently just restarted RPL testing after taking a long break due to a bad experience with our previous provider and a lot of non-RPL related life hardships.

The break was kind of nice. It sucks to be back in this world. But I wasn’t fully ready to let it go. Part of me wants to be done. This pain is unbearable.

Anyways, I’m just here to say that nobody gets it. Literally nobody. I just broke up with my therapist because they said that A) there’s many paths to parenthood, including adoption and B) I shouldn’t still be crying so much about this, I’m not processing my grief well…

Been seeing them for a few weeks and this was the literal first appointment I had even talked about RPL… I never talk about it with anyone bc they always say something awful… proven correct yet again. I don’t want to hear about adoption. Fuck off. I’m fully aware. Am I not allowed to mourn THIS thing that’s happening to me now? Why is that not allowed?

Then when at a friends house this past weekend (who knows exactly what we’re going through) we were talking about how happy we were because we deep cleaned our house and they said our house was only clean because we don’t have kids. And they have kids and the same number of pregnancies as they do kids! Imagine! Yep. Thanks. I’d love to have a messy house and not dead babies, but yeah. Awesome observation.

And I posted an exciting random thing on my IG story (nothing serious, just opened a snack pack that had an extra one in it) and my cousin responded they thought it’d be an ultrasound pic with how excited I was. What the fuck. Idk if they know (my mom doesn’t respect my wishes and tells people against my will) but even if they don’t, why the fuck would you say that to anyone ever at any point.

Oh and some asshat brought their baby into our new fertility clinic waiting room. So thoughtful.

I’m just so sick of everyone minimizing and downplaying this horrific thing. I hate that I have to go through it. I hate it all.

No LC. 3 MCs in a year. RPL is all consuming. I feel like I literally have to be my own Dr. I have to go read all the damn research papers myself and get a damn medical degree to get any help. "Could it be X? Can we look for Y??" It's just a lot. Working full time on top of it. Gotten so many procedures, so much testing, half answers but nothing for sure. No one can ever say "This is what caused your miscarriages and we think you have better odds now." It's just lots of guessing and more miscarriages in between.

I'm just angry today. The concept of someone just fucking a man, getting and STAYING pregnant, and having a living child... alludes me. WHAT? For FREE? HUH? And then all they do is complain about said living child. Fantastic. Wonderful. Great. Anyways. Rant over. Just. It's so fucking unfair.

Who gives a flying fuck if I never eat at a regular restaurant ever again? Truly. Why the fuck does it upset them.

NEED ADVICE! ALSO RANTING!!!!

(Context: I’m an adult, live with my husband. He’s been so supportive and our household immediately went GF. This post is about everyone else in my life.)

Newly diagnosed about a month ago. Was extremely ill for years, so diagnosis was partly a relief. Yes, also upsetting, but relieved to think I can live a life free from pain and illness by changing my diet. This disease has cost me a lot. Aside from the daily painful stomach aches, atrocious digestive issues, fatigue, joint pain, and deficiency in multiple nutrients…I’ve suffered from recurrent pregnancy loss for years with no answer. Now, it seems this could be the culprit. I’m taking it extremely seriously. If I can help it, I never want gluten to enter my body again.

With that in mind, I have seriously zero interest in eating at a restaurant ever again. It’s not worth it for me to risk getting sick. This doesn’t make me sad at all. In fact, it’s the opposite! I feel liberated and free by this decision. It literally causes me panic and anxiety to even think about eating at a normal restaurant… I don’t want to take the risk and I don’t want to have the long conversation about their protocol and then just have to trust them. Not for me. (I will try dedicated GF spots, though!)

But, my family and a few friends are absolutely unwilling to accept this. They think it’s just a phase, I’ll come around to eating at a normal or fast food restaurant, they’re constantly sending me “GF options” chain restaurants offer. Zero understanding of the lengthy convos required to even order and stress involved. My one friend said it’s a phase I’ll grow out of as I go further into the celiac journey. It’s dismissive. And selfish? Like, also, get a fucking life? The only social activity you know is eating at a restaurant? Ridiculous.

And my parents specifically are the worst offenders. They have a celiac friend and they eat out all the time. And that apparently means I have to as well?? Even though they say she gets glutened several times a year!! Huh?! NO THANKS! And it’s a joke to them, I guess. Because they think that term is “funny” and they’re like “ohhh yeah we know that word! (Friend) says she gets glutened, and has to miss hangs! Haha!” It’s not seen as a serious medical condition to them. Almost like lactose intolerance, I’d guess is how they see it. Which I’ve also had for years (likely due to celiac) and they never took that seriously either.

Eating out is their entire personality and they’re unwilling to accept that I’ll never eat at a restaurant again. It’s so fucking disrespectful and I’m absolutely fuming. They don’t live near me, so this will really come to a head when they visit this summer.

I’m so sick to death of people thinking they can make decisions FOR me. JUST FUCK OFF!!!!

I’ve given up making them understand; I 100000% believe that’s impossible. They’ll never understand. So the question is: How do I deal with it?? Just ignore? Which is hard because they’re sending me texts almost daily about GF options at CFA, in n out, etc. and when I don’t respond, get upset. UGGghhhhghhghgh. It’s like the texts are soft launching the fact that they’re going to force this issue when they’re here. And it’s all for their own comfort??? Why the fuck do they care!!!!! I’m happy cooking at home!!!

TLDR; family and friends are constantly pressuring me to eat out and it’s driving me fucking crazy. Any advice?

Hi all, like many of you, I have suffered from this phobia from a very young age. Just wanted to celebrate a very small super tiny moment of success. Again, it’s so tiny, but just needed to acknowledge it. This is a rambling mess, I’m sorry!

My wonderful spouse is SO understanding of my anxiety and is just a lovely human being. He’s already helped me so much in this journey by comforting me when I was sick and I even once snuggled him until he fell asleep right after he threw up! That was a few years ago and my first win. And he was so proud of me, gosh I love him!!!

Ok…so tonight. Stayed up too late, ate too much junk. He’s not feeling well and belching a lot, tummy hurting. I’m panicking. Each belch just sends me spiraling even more. Like chest pounding, fear pulsing my veins. Cannot relax. BUT! I stay in bed with him. In the past, I would have 10000% bolted at the first hint of his unwell feeling….and slept on the couch. But I got him some water to sip and held his hand! It’s soooo tiny nothing and holy crap I’ve had some backsliding moments lately too. But I’m slightly proud of myself for not bolting out of the room.

Currently trying to calm my heart rate and take deep breaths. I’m ashamed my panic response was so strong. But I stayed right next to him. Knock on wood, he seems to have fallen asleep so hopefully he’s feeling better and nothing ends up happening. But if it does… I will work on convincing myself that the world is not in fact ending.

Just want to say thanks. I was diagnosed last week. Endoscopy found severe damage and blood test showed high levels of tTG-IgA. It’s been overwhelming to say the least. Partially a relief to know what’s been going on, though.

I’ve been on this sub pretty much constantly since that diagnosis to learn everything and read others’ experience. This has been really hard, but I’m grateful for all the experienced celiacs who came before me… thanks for making this transition easier with the advice.

I’d heard of celiac before but had no idea about the cross contamination concerns. I had no idea gluten the size of a bread crumb makes celiacs sick. And now that’s me! That’s been one of the hardest thing to come to grips with, the contamination paranoia.

I’ve only been diagnosed a few days and already heard all the classics from friends/family trying to help. Can eat gluten in Europe, a little shouldn’t hurt, once I go GF gluten exposure won’t make me sick, restaurants have so many GF options…. It’s exhausting…. And it’s only the beginning.

Anyways… just grateful that there’s a community of people who know exactly what it’s like. Thanks 🙏

My colonoscopy/endoscopy is at 11:45am mountain time today. I’m on miralax+gatorade/dulcolax prep. Quickly after drinking first part of prep yesterday, I had the yellow butt pee.

Was able to get some sleep and woke up at 6:20am this morning to finish second dose. Had some mucus come out and then pooped not quite solid but not liquid bits… now I’m freaking out I’m not gonna be clear in time.

I can do liquids until 7:45am (15 min from writing this post) and I’m downing as much water and Gatorade as I can tolerate to try and get things moving.

Anyone else go through this??