r/Separation_Anxiety

My dog, who’s now one and a half years old, has been struggling with being left alone since I just finished school and have been home a lot in the past few months (especially barking and whining)
He used to be able to do 5-6 hours no problem, now he’ll whine after 10 minutes or so! Theres multiple factors contributing to this at the moment which I won’t get into now but we’ve been training staying alone again so my pup can be at peace even alone and my poor neighbours don’t have to hear him whine when I leave for an hour

I’ve set up a camera in my room where he’s staying to practice for now and I see him finally lay down with his eyes slowly falling shut. He won’t fully sleep but at least he seems very calm, which I think is a huge step in the right direction!
How do I reward this good behaviour? I want to encourage him to stay calm like this. Can I make him understand that whining or barking won’t bring me back but that being calm makes things easier for both of us??

I’ve thought about walking in, tossing a treat without a word in leaving. However this might be a bad idea because he’ll get all excited again and start whining once I leave

I’ve also tried speaking into the camera, he just starts whining when he was doing so well before…

How do I encourage this calm behaviour?? I really want him to do well because I’m starting my job in September which means he’ll be alone for around 5 hours again….

This worked for me it might work for you too

My dog gets anxious whenever I leave the house, even if it's just for a short time. I'd love to hear what worked for anyone who's been through this.

We have a 7 year old corgi named Scout. I work from home so he is hardly ever in his crate except for bedtime and quick runs to the grocery store etc. never longer than 3 hours during the day and usually only on weekends for non-sleep activities. All of a sudden this past year, scout will cry and scream in his crate and demand to be let out which my husband does. My husband is scouts person. The issue is here that scout comes onto our bed and will purposely cause issues so I (the wife) leave and go sleep on the couch. He’ll growl, show teeth, etc whenever I move or adjust which happens during normal sleep. My husband seems to not be understanding the issue here is the attachment (I set up a camera and scout doesn’t make a peep when we go to the grocery store together- no dad to manipulate !) and him constantly letting scout out after a bit but he argues that he shouldn’t have to endure 2 hours plus of doggie screaming or crying. I feel as though this problem was created by coddling him. I feel bad saying it because I love my husband and I love my cute dog but it’s been months of me sleeping on the couch while my dog enjoys my bed and sleeping next to my husband.

We’ve spoken to the vet who said to try calming treats and probiotics which had no effect. We’ve gone for walks before bed. We’ve tried Benadryl as well to no avail.

The next step here is Prozac which I’ve reluctantly started today even though my husband seems upset to utilize and thinks it’s not necessary to “drug” the dog. I as the wife feel like I’m not being heard here.

Crate is next to husband in bedroom. In sight of dog. Within 3 feet.

Any suggestions to save my marriage? lol

Firstly, this is my first time posting here. I've read all the rules, and believe that I am following them correctly. I truly need help, so, I don't want to accidentally get myself banned from a place where I truly think I may be able to receive some advice that can help me with Happy my 18 month old Bull Arab X American Johnson Bulldog.

I've Googled and watched YouTube videos but so far nothing is helping. Then I realised that I follow dog subreddit pages on here and thought maybe some other dog other might be able to hopefully help me 🙏

I adopted Happy when she was 13 weeks old. It was my first time actually owning a puppy, puppy. Puppies are hard work lol. But I did my best. She attended her first puppy training course at approximately six months old. She passed, but she was very easily excited and distracted by things. We were told this was normal at her age.

Unfortunately, my depression was extremely bad and I didn't get to keep training her as much as I wanted at this time.

Then something terrible happened. My rental home in Melbourne (that I loved to pieces and paid $100 a week for a three-bedroom house with everything I could ever need) was burnt down when I was returning to Melbourne from Queensland Australia.

Ever since then, midway through November 2025, my housemate and I and our fur babies have been living in a caravan. We are now thankfully back in Victoria. And are staying on the most beautiful property.

The issue is, that due to being with us constantly, literally 24/7, Happy has developed what can only be described as separate anxiety.

We have a 9 foot chain connected to the caravan so that she is safe when she needs to go outside to go to the toilet (we have toilet trained her) and play. She is perfectly content outside on the chain playing by herself when we are inside the caravan.

Unfortunately, however, if she is on the chain and we are outside, even if standing right in her line of sight, if the chain can't reach us, she starts to cry. This also happens if just one of us is out of sight. Even if she is inside the caravan. If one of us leaves to do something, she cries and cries.

Where we are now living, there is a giant area that is all fenced off with a big warm shed inside it. On the property we are on, the owner breeds goats. And this large pen is used for them. But not always. In the meantime, she has said it is perfectly fine for Happy to use, so that she can be off the chain and run free. It is an incredibly large area so there is plenty of room to run and play.

I truly thought she would be so happy, but she just sits at the fence crying for us. Even when we are in her line of sight doing stuff outside the caravan. I saw her run and play for a few moments the first time I left her in there by myself, and I was so proud, but it literally only lasted a few minutes before she was back at the fence howling and crying to be back with us.

She also refuses to come when called. She knows what it is but 9/10 times ignores us. This is obviously a huge problem because all of the other dogs on the property, the owner's three dogs, and my housemate's small 14 year old dog who follows him everywhere, are all off lead.

We know Happy will take off racing to see everything there is to see and we're on a 44 acre property. I don't think anything per say would happen to her, but until she is used to other animals, and especially the goats which are incredibly important to the owner of the property, letting her off is not worth the risk. But I imagine it affects her just the same.

Because of how bad the separate anxiety is, we are still having to currently take her everywhere with us. My housemate is on an age pension and I am on a disability pension so it's not like we're having to go to work all day everyday, but I do have multiple appointments most days, and now live 2.5 hours from my doctor and specialists.

Everytime we have to travel anywhere, she has to come. It is becoming (who am I kidding, it is well and truly) a nightmare, this problem.

Obviously being able to leave her on the property when we have to go out is the best answer. Especially given there is a safe place to do so with lots of room to run and play and keep warm and dry is need be. Our landlady is happy to keep an eye on her.

But the few times we have tried putting her in the pen and walking up to the main house where she can't see us, has been torture. She cried and cries so much. It's honestly distressing. It's like she thinks we're abandoning her and it breaks my heart.

She can't come with us everywhere for the rest of her life, it's just not feasible.

I just don't know what to do and I desperately need some help.

Thank you for reading. Any and all advice is welcome 😊

Im really struggling right now and am having major puppy regret. I have a mini dachshund who is about to be 4 months old. I have her in training classes which has helped some, but the separation anxiety and potty training is making day to day unbearable. I'm at the point of sending her away to puppy boarding and need help.

Right now, she has to be on me at all times. If Im eating, she has to be on my feet. If we're playing, she has to sit in my lap. If im cooking, she's laying at my feet. If I use the bathroom, shes trying to jump into my lap. I wanted a lapdog, but the issue is that it's unsafe and impossible to do things around the house. If Im cleaning, she has to he right there with me trying to bite and eat the supplies. If I have to get dressed, Im tripping over her as shes trying to lick me and Ive stepped on her repeatedly. If I try to gate her or put her in the other room, it's barking, screaming, and crying literally nonstop. Its hard to even close the door and use the bathroom.

When I first got her, I was trying to crate training her and it was really unsuccessful. She would panic and cry for hours straight. She ripped holes in the blanket covering the cage from panicking. Now she sleeps in the bed with me.

The potty training is an issue too. I live in an apartment and we have a grass patch outside. She uses it, but a lot of times she'll just pee on whatever she sees on the floor even after Ive taken her out 4-5 times with no pee or poop.

I feel like Im losing my mind.

I adopted a 6 year old Italian Greyhound/Chihuahua mix about 2 years ago. His previous owner claimed he had a little anxiety. Well that was just an outright lie. He has severe general anxiety as well as separation anxiety. For the past 2 years I have tried just about everything I can think of. He has been on Prozac, Clomipramine, Trazodone, and Gabapentin. All at the same time. As well as Purina Calming Care and tranquillium supplements. I have tried hemp chews. Vitamins. He has had loads of bloodwork to make sure he does not have underlying health issues. I also have to tranquillize him for car rides with Acepromazine and that doesn’t really help it’s just sedates him and stresses me out. The vet has suggested another dog for a companion but he does not care about other dogs. We spend lots of time with other dogs and he has no interest. The vet also suggested in home training but the trainers I have spoken to say they don’t know if it will help him and most likely will take a very long time and cost a small fortune. There aren’t any canine behaviorists within 100 miles of where we live. So, what do I do now?? I am also disabled and on a fixed income. I have been spending about $300 a month on his meds and supplements and they do not help him in the slightest. We have also tried thundershirts and pheromone diffusers and desensitization techniques. I just don’t know what to do and I am close to my breaking point. I feel terrible for him because he is so sweet and I know he is suffering and I am absolutely suffering. Does anyone have any other suggestions??

Half question half vent - has anybody here dealt with separation anxiety/isolation distress while living alone with a limited support system and no option to use anti-anxiety medication (due to a congenital liver condition)? Is it worth working with a CSAT or do I simply need to give up and rehome him?

Context/vent:

I adopted a very shy/likely traumatized but exceptionally sweet and silly dog about 4 months ago. It was something that I put a lot of thought and effort into, including repeated meetings with the foster family discussions about reactivity, health, activity level, comfort with separation, lifestyle, etc. I live alone and work from home, had moved from out of state about half a year prior, but felt like I had settled in enough and was just starting to make friends.

The first couple weeks were great, easy even. Week three, the leash reactivity began to emerge. Week four, he began barking incessantly if left home alone. Both the reactivity and the separation anxiety/isolation distress seemed to escalate during month 2. I started working with a behaviorist who does not treat separation anxiety, which I was fine with because the reactivity felt like the most immediate issue (my house had a shared backyard so there was no version of going outside that was not stressful). She recently referred me to a CSAT who I’m only just starting to work with since I was moving to a new house and wanted to let him settle in first.

My whole life is on hold by this point — I can’t leave the dog home, I can’t take him anywhere we might encounter other people or dogs, and I can’t have anyone come to the house because the reactivity had by then expanded to include any visitors.

In the meantime, it becomes clear something is wrong with his liver. One more month and several thousand dollars later, he’s diagnosed with hepatic microvascular dysplasia, which had triggered early stage hepatic encephalopathy, which was driving a big chunk of the escalating reactivity and general dysregulation.

Once we started managing the liver stuff — and now that I’ve moved to a more peaceful home with a private fenced yard — the reactivity has gotten more manageable. It’s still an issue, but now he can tolerate seeing people and dogs from across the street or down the block and we’re making real progress. Unfortunately, he’s still not cool with visitors, which mostly rules out dog sitters, and I’m reluctant to enlist more than 1-2 of the few people I know well enough to invite over to practice.

Because of his liver, anti-anxiety (and most other) meds are off the table. His vet did put him on gabapentin (since it’s liver-safe) which does not do much but does seem to lower some of his baseline stress.

When I look at the situation objectively I feel like I should just rehome him but he’s a wonderful dog and if he didn’t also have separation anxiety, I wouldn’t even consider it. But he does have it. Initially, I didn’t realize because he isn’t bothered by me leaving, but once he realizes I’m not immediately coming back, he starts looking for me, whining, then crying, then barking and pawing at the door, which he generally does not stop until I (or someone) returns. Initially, I tried crating him, but realized that was just associating his crate with isolation/stress. He doesn’t get destructive or anything other than panicky and loud, but I haven’t tested it since realizing his distress.

He’s fine if he’s with other people or dogs — I have been able to have a friend watch him every few weeks and borrow another friend’s dog, which is basically the only time I’m able to get away without triggering incessant barking. But I’m super reluctant to ask people who I was in the super early stages of befriending back when I adopted the dog (and haven’t been able to see much on account of the dog) to look after him on any kind of regular basis since he has to take medication every eight hours + can’t really go on walks + can’t be alone.

I have my consultation with the CSAT next week and I’m kind of dreading it because I worry that she’ll just be like “well your situation is impossible.” I adore this dog but it’s also my responsibility to do right by him, and I recognize that that may mean rehoming him. But I also don’t want to give up without trying. The rescue is contractually obligated to take him back at any time, but I really really really don’t want them to have to.

If you’ve made it this far, has anybody else dealt with a similar situation? Is there any hope?

Hello everyone, I’d love to hear your ideas and feedback.

My Standard Schnauzer struggles with being left alone when we leave the house. Interestingly, it’s not a problem when we go to work (6–7 hours, 2–3 times a week). During those times he is completely relaxed and usually sleeps on his back.

He is a 3.5-year-old neutered male. Two years ago, he lost two canine companions within a short period of time, which left him completely alone. Since then, departures have become difficult for him.

We also have a 2-year-old male dog who lives with us and is a good friend of his. This younger dog has no issues being left alone and has been a great source of support for the 3.5-year-old.

As mentioned, we can leave for work without any problems. We built this up gradually, starting with just a few seconds and slowly increasing the duration. However, at any other time of day, if we leave unexpectedly, he finds it very difficult.

When we really need to go somewhere, taking him for a long walk beforehand seems to help, although he is still not as relaxed as he is during our work absences.

In the beginning, we practiced departures extensively at different times of the day.

We feel a bit stuck at this point and would really appreciate any insights, feedback, or suggestions you may have.

Thank you so much in advance

2 months ago, i moved into a rental home with my boyfriend and our dog. prior to that, my bf lived with his grandparents in a garage-turned-bedroom, with his dog. the dog has always had pretty bad anxiety, but he’s never destroyed anything. just was very reactive

when we moved, i encourage my bf to get him put on medicine. we took him to the vet & they prescribed 80mg of prozac. my bf & i both work, i work m-f 9-5 & he works an irregular schedule. but, our dog has always been mostly alone so this is really nothing new. for the first month and a half, he was fine. he would lay on the couch and sleep most of the day while we were gone for work, and i’d check on him periodically thru our blink cam. abt 3 weeks ago, he began showing side affects of the meds. trembling, pacing, panting, restlessness, etc. he never stayed put while we were gone and was always pacing, panting, or staying somewhere out of sight (typically the laundry room) he’d flip his food & water bowl too.

then, over the weekend, i couldn’t leave the house at all. every time i even thought abt it he would shake and run to the door, either blocking it or squeezing out and refusing to come back inside so that i couldn’t leave.

for a few days now, ive been practicing things ive read suggested online to try and desensitize him to being alone again. walking out for a few seconds then coming back in. picking up my keys. not making a big deal of coming and going (no kisses and love before leaving for work and none when returning). keeping him from coming into the bathroom while i shower, trying to be separate while at home.

well, today, my step mother came to look at a few things around the house, so before she even got here i took him to the bedroom, gave him his security blanket, a stuffie, and some dog ice cream. (we have always had to do this with company) he barked a few times but mostly was very calm. she even mentioned how much calmer he seemed.

i stepped outside for no longer than 10 minutes, and when i came back in, heard him whining and clawing at the door. walked in to a shredded drywall & trim… he has never ever done anything like this before. i don’t know what to do. when i called the vet a few days ago abt the issues he’s been having, he suggested we up the meds - but it’s literally only been 5 weeks of taking them. we’ve not even made it out of the introductory period. i feel like this is all my fault bc im the one who thought putting him on meds might help. if anyone has any advice it would be so greatly appreciated!!

tldr: my dog has been showing increased symptoms of separation anxiety & tore up the drywall after being put into a bedroom during a short visit. he has always shown signs of separation anxiety, but this is way out of character for him. please help

I have a dog that I’ve raised with my bf for 7 years. He’s 7 years old and is a mini American Eskimo. For the most part, he is a very chill dog. But that changes the moment I’m out of sight. He starts to bark like he’s yelling for help and won’t stop until I come back. It doesn’t matter if my bf is always there with him, he will still bark. And it’s only with me. If my bf leaves the room or apartment, he’s completely chill. He does alert bark when he hears sound coming from outside the apartment, but he’ll stop after I ask him to. When we’re both gone, he also barks nonstop. Luckily, my neighbors have not complained yet but this is taking over our life. I can’t do anything without him constantly with me. And my bf has no peace when he’s left alone with the dog. When we both prepare to leave, he starts to panic and shake. He seems to only panic when I leave our own place or a room in the house. B/c I did try to board him once and he willingly left me for the dog sitter and was fine for two nights away.

Clearly he has severe separation anxiety. He gets plenty of exercise, and I really don’t see how training would help. Has anyone had the same experience with their own dog and has putting them on medication help? We’ve tried CBD gummies for dogs and other calming gummies and those do absolutely nothing. I’ll be leaving out of town for a week in a couple of months and want to make sure he’s not going to make my bf’s life a living hell when I’m gone lol

Hello, I've had a dog for nearly 12 years and I am desperate need of help. I will be quick to describe my situation. My dog Jake gets very anxious whenever there's rain or fireworks.

His anxiety manifests in heavy panting and extreme uneasiness, he will literally break doors, climb onto chairs, get on top of beds and scratch and bite the walls. Thankfully he does not get aggressive, but he tends to hurt people in the middle of his anxiety fits.

I will list all that we've tried and hasn't worked. We really need some help.

1. Dog treats.

These work until thev don't. When we see that it gets cloudy or there's a holiday we can give him up to 5 calmina treats. We would say the symptoms get reduced like 1 0 percent and we do not want to aive him more because we fear we might overdose him.

2. Anxiety dog vest.

We've been snugging him into those pressure anxiety vests for doqs. Rather than being more calm, this seems to just hinder his movement (and probably makes him more anxious in the process

3. Playing music, calming words, darkness.

None of these work. and seem to confuse him more than to help him. Blindfold him or cover is ears or both also doesn't work.

4. Straight up tying him down.

Besides thinking this is a cruel measure, he will always find a way to get rid of his restraints. we used to have a dog chain literally strapped to the wall, he pulled it so hard the chain broke from the wall. And of course we fear he will hurt himself.

We really do not know what to do anymore. We are desperate.

Just wanted to share a success story with you guys. My dog went from barking and whining as soon as I walked out the front door, to hardly noticing I left in just a couple weeks.

\- The biggest wins imo are anti anxiety meds (cheap. Just go see a vet for a prescription)
\- regularly opening and closing the front door so that it becomes boring to them.
\- setting up a camera at my front door ($30 Aqara camera from Amazon) so that I can watch her at my door when I leave. Step out, let her walk to the door, and then come back in before she starts whining. Do this a ton until your dog doesn’t bother getting up anymore.
\- stay outside your door for increasingly longer periods of time. In my case, once I could hit 1 minute, I was home free and could leave for grocery trips, the gym, whatever.

**I think the most important part of this whole process is not re-traumatizing them by actually leaving before they’re properly desensitized**. When you do this, it re-traumatizes the dog and makes it all the harder to get over the anxiety.

Get the reps in! Walk out the door and come back in; open the door but don’t walk out; jiggle the door handle as you walk by it; take out the trash. Mix it up: don’t push for records each time you walk out the door. If you work from home, this process is easier since you can get the reps in more frequently.

Use anxiety meds to help in the beginning! Yes, it’s a crutch, but it gives you a bouncing-off point from
which your dog will learn that your leaving is nbd. You can scale back the anxiety meds slowly until they don’t need them at all anymore.

Good luck!

I need to share my progress. I never thought I'd be here.

I adopted Zack 1 year ago, almost to the day. He was shut down in the shelter and had never lived as a pet. He was 2. The following 3 months were a nightmare. Toilet training was a breeze and he's incredibly smart, but his separation anxiety was destroying me. He was attached to me only, so I was in jail. I didn't shower for a long time as even 5 seconds alone was too much for him. I wasn't eating or sleeping enough and every day was a coffee-fuelled battle. I was crying lots and I felt watched 24/7. There's no way out except through. Every spare moment I have is dedicated to training.

6 months... He starts successfully sleeping at night alone. I got a pet cam and I'm doing all the separation anxiety training constantly. I can shower, cook my meals, and I can leave the house for 20 minutes or so before he erupts. I feel isolated and on edge 24/7 still. Me and the dog are hyper-aware of each other's every move.

I have to go to work again so he has to learn 4 hours without me, but with my partner present. The next 4 months were really emotionally difficult. I had to go to work and keep focussed, knowing he's highly distressed every second of it. I cry while I work. My partner also feels depleted, and is also trying to work. I spend my evenings on Reddit looking for similar stories and tips. There's no way out except through. We are all doing the best we can. Keep going.

Over the last couple months, something clicked. Maybe all the training was doing something. Maybe Zack just felt at home now and much safer. Things aren't perfect, but I mostly have my life back. I also have a really great dog. I can leave him at home with my partner for hours without issues. A couple quiet cries but mostly sleeping. He can be fully alone in the house for 4 hours. He makes a little progress every week.

I never thought I'd be here. If you're feeling how I did... depleted, exhausted, isolated... I'd like to bring you some hope that things can improve. I didn't have the money to hire a trainer and I felt completely out of my depth. I was preparing for the hardest part to be permanent.

My dog is my greatest joy in this life and I am so proud of him. These days I don't check the pet cam in fear - I check because my heart fills with joy seeing him snuggled up resting peacefully. It's been amazing seeing how far he's come. He's a different dog now and he's absolutely perfect. We changed each other for the better.

Hi everyone I’m desperate and just need some help for my very lovely sweet rescue….

About 5 months ago my boyfriend and I adopted a dog from a rescue & they informed us he has separation anxiety (not a big deal my boyfriend has a remote job) he was on trazodone & gabapentin in the shelter so we got all of his meds from there & kept up with trazodone - the gabapentin we didn’t because our vet that we took him to didn’t think he would need it

We took him to the vet as mentioned above and didn’t think he needed gabapentin because we decided to put him on 40mg of Prozac he is a large mixed breed dog we believe a lab, German shepherd, and bloodhound mix.

We decided to put him on Prozac because he ultimately was just too anxious about anyone going near any doors he did not like it & hated being in his crate so much so that he would tear any and everything up in it, break the crate, and he injured his nose by trying to escape from the metal bars.

Fast forward 3 months into the Prozac we had been experiencing very positive results! We were able to get him more comfortable being left home alone, he wasn’t whining or pacing anymore, able to settle, and was doing amazing.

Then, my boyfriend and I had a week long vacation planned & we obviously got a dog sitter (someone who he knew and has been around countless times and has been left alone with often too) coming back we have had a complete regression of his anxiety. During the day he’s fine, night time he turns into the most anxious mess known to man kind. Mind you we take him on 10miles in walks a day. He always get a long night time walk & is able to sniff on it too. I give him lick treats but he’s too anxious to pay those any attention.

At night time I give him his trazodone dose along with melatonin and still nothing works. I recently got him a thundershirt as well in hopes that it would help tonight is night 2 with it & still no improvement.

I need some recommendations. He doesn’t let us sleep at night because he whines the whole night & jumps on and off the bed, pants constantly, and paces. We have a vet appointment but I just need some tips to get us through until we take him in. Thanks.