r/SoberAndHateIt

Myself (32f) and my husband (40m) have been trying for the better part of the last year to be sober. As weekend drinkers, we realized we had a problem when we couldn’t stop and a few drinks became not remembering most of the night. Arguments while drinking, waking up hungover every Saturday, being bad influences to our young children, health are all reason why we want to quit.

Drinking has been a huge part of both of our lives and cultures, it still is. Everyone we spend time with drinks. Everything we love to do is based around drinking. We go camping, we drink around the fire. We go out to lunch, we go to a brewery. We have friends over for dinner, shots. A bbq and pool day in the backyard, nice day to have a beer and so on. It’s so hard to change that mind set because a nice cold beer makes everything better but it never stops at just one. It’s so extremely difficult to retrain your brain and learn how to live a sober lifestyle!!

Every time we shoot for sobriety, we fail because we want to spend time with our friends and family-and there will almost always be alcohol involved. Over time we’ve distanced ourselves from the only people we have as support because we don’t want to drink. This has caused strain on our relationships and has made us lonely. Yes there are instances where we can do things where alcohol can’t be involved but you find yourself mourning the old activities that you can’t partake in now because you’ll be tempted to drink. We overbook our weekends so if an invite comes, we have an excuse as to why we can’t see our loved ones.

Anyway we’re two weeks back on the wagon and we’re proud of that! We have a camping trip with a group of light drinking friends and their kids (mostly my old friends from high school) next weekend. They’re our responsible friends, but they still enjoy a few beers on a sunny day. We won’t feel as much pressure other than self pressure because we NEVER camp without a drink but we’re going to give it a shot (no pun intended). I’m worried and not looking forward to my favorite hobby because it’s going to be a mental struggle the whole time. Husband is worried because he has always used booze as a social lubricant and doesn’t really know who he is socially when he isn’t greased up. He has absolutely no control when drinking, and I say this with all the love in my heart for this man but I absolutely despise the person he becomes when he has too much to drink. I’m worried he will break, drink too much and embarrass us in front of this group of friends. I think I’ll have to stay strong for the both of us. We’ve talked about just having a few drinks after the kids are asleep but it’s never just a few.

If you’ve made it this long, thanks for reading my rant. I’m struggling and just needed a place to get this off my chest.

TLDR- losing friends and changing lifestyle to be sober is a daily struggle and I’m tired.

Usual streaming,

Just interested if anybody has found anything that's gripped then to help pass the time

[23M] So i quit drinking alcohol, smoking, drugs and porn all at once... today is day 44 and it doesn't feel rewarding at all... i have this feeling i never felt before its awful, i used to be so much happier when i did all of those things but now im just empty inside... also i lost friends because of this and my motivation for everything is gone.... i have no idea on what to do...

Anyone had anything like this?

Does it get better?

Any advice on getting my spark back..?

First off, I just wanna introduce myself!

My name is L( not my real name but its about as much as im willing to share for now..)

Im only a few short weeks into my journey, but im feeling somewhat optimistic about quitting my vice. Im realizing that I needed to get away from my environment and I did it even though it was really difficult.

I felt so apprehensive in doing so, but it's come to my surprise what came after actually improving my chances on leaving the bottle behind me.

Im not counting days.. only weeks and positive affirmations.

It's been really difficult especially with mother's day happening ( I dont have a solid relationship with my mother.) She was a bad alcoholic, worse then I ever was.

It pains me to say she's my "cautionary tale" that and my younger friends that I also had to put a greater distance.

I wish all of you souls struggling and / or thinking of quitting a good resolve i doing so. Even if it seems hopeless.. you can't give up♡ please 🙏

To get away from the situation I was in (lots of crack and an abusive relationship) I moved over a 1000 miles away. I’ve been clean 11 months. I was on suboxone for cravings but essentially I had to choose between my mental health medication or suboxone. So mental health it is. Problem is I’ve been having rampant dreams about using. I want to get blasted so bad but #1 I am worried it would be laced with fent and #2 I don’t know anyone other then my parents and coworkers and I work in the health field. Outside of walking around a shady area yelling “crack, I need some crack” there’s no way to get it. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep telling my dr about the dreams and she has tripled my klonopin. Ive never abused kpin and frankly my brain wants that rush not a downer so it’s not doing anything to help.

I’m not even fully sober. Just cutting back (potentially to fully sober at some point). Was drinking every day for like 2 years. On days I don’t drink now I’m so bored. I’m so irritable. I work and then I scroll on my phone, basically just waiting to go to bed. Like if this is sober life idk if I want it 🫩

I quit smoking less than two weeks ago and I feel pretty content unless I am off work. Not too long ago, my days off were typically spent smoking bowls back to back, watching tv, and eating bullshit. I’ve been trying to improve myself a lot recently so I quit smoking, vaping, and changed my eating habits all at once. I’m staying a lot stronger than I thought I would but I can’t deny that my life has become a lot more boring. Yes, I have been practicing some hobbies like yoga, journaling, and meditation but those things still can’t seem to fill my void. I guess I’m just looking for advice or suggestions.

Dear diary, today is day five of me being completely sober. I have also not had more than three hours of sleep in all five days! Drinking always helped me sleep.

I am always wondering, when is this supposed to start feeling rewarding? Shouldn't I have some sense of pride over this "accomplishment" by now? I'm going on six months clean from fentanyl and to say I'm just a shell of a person is an understatement.

I know it probably has a lot to do with how I don't actually want to be sober and I'm not unhappy or desperate to get out when I do use. Like my addiction isn't problematic for me and I don't hurt or use anyone to support it and I have no desire to not be on drugs. I just am.

Sometimes I just want to say eff it and go get high 😢

First it was alcohol, then weed, then work/porn. More than a year out from problematic weed use, and I can generally control the drinking to a night or two out a month - but fuck, life is boring, and all I want to do is get high and order pizza.

Trying to workout, have sent out a message to a couple therapists - but honestly it's sort of a "been there/done that" mindset and as problematic as it is, I really doubt I'll feel better with anything that's not weed or weird porn. Such a fucking stereotype - but fuck sobriety (or at least my approximation of it) is no joke and low key sucks.

So I got into a car accident October 2, 2025. Fell asleep behind the wheel, crashed at full speed into the back of a truck at a dead stop. Got plates in my knee, elbow, hip, and almost lost my eye.

Thankfully, MIRACULOUSLY, I recovered well enough to return to my job as an electrician after 5 months. During my time out, I gladly quit drinking, just a cold quit. I used thc and melatonin to help sleep while I was out. I quit after a month at home because I didn’t want to have to be a slave to a gummy.

I returned to work, met some other people who were sober, but they’ve been sober for years. They don’t do anything except nicotine. I can’t quit nicotine either, so I smoke too.

My wife and I are very happy with the weight loss and energy gain from not drinking, and now she only drinks or has gummies rarely as well. So they’re readily available in my house.

I’m bored and want a thc gummy, I know my wife will say “that’s fine, you only wanted to quit drinking,” but in my mind I imagine like I’m asking people from work as well, that I have camaraderie with. And if I don’t tell them, I know it’ll somehow come up in conversation I did, and that’s like not being truthful.

I’m living two worlds of tolerance, I just need to beat this one-off craving tonight. I physically and mentally can’t handle disappointment from people at work that think I’ve turned a new leaf.

24f. 3 years + 4 months nicotine free. Almost 10 months alcohol free. Tomorrow will be 60 days without weed.

Life is kicking my ass right now. I’m depressed and my situation just keeps getting worse. I feel like I can’t have a good day anymore. I’m genuinely thinking about using again. Anything.

I have some people in my life who just don’t get the “sober” thing and are encouraging me to try it again if “I feel like I can’t handle it.”

I know doing anything I gave up again would send me down a bad path. I’ve been trying so hard to restart my life, but old habits die hard. I know I won’t be the same if I use again, but I just feel like what is the point?

Lonely, I feel like a loser, and I’m losing my zest for life I had in early sobriety. What is the point of doing anything?

Sober for three months not even alcohol,and I’m bored af! I have all kinds of health anxiety and I feel like all I do is work and stay home. Or when I do go out to eat or to a park etc it doesn’t do anything for me I feel numb! I been sober from Beroin for two plus years and weth for one year using only few times in that year and 100 percent off everything for three months. Anyone been through this does it get easier n better! I’m afraid I used up all my dopamine levels up and they’ll never be the same cuz all I’ve ever know my whole adult life is to part party party it’s kinda depressing

Hey all,

I miss the days where - because of the swirl that drugs put you in - you don’t notice time passing - I wasn’t just counting a clock and letting the hours pass.

Now that I have so much free time, I know I should: pick up a hobby so all that free time is not wasted.

So I’m not just wasting away the hours being unproductive (I mean, working on your addiction by staying sober is not nothing, but…)

I have a few different options at my disposal. And they are awesome!!!

But I, for the life of me, can’t seem to get motivated enough to start anything.

This is also true for the cleaning on my apartment. My partner has put a lot of my stuff, including my hobbies, into boxes that I need to go through.

But I have no motivation for this. It’s starting to really annoy him.

And this feeling goes well beyond simple procrastination, as it feels like something to do with my self-worth and the hollow pit I discovered inside me.

It’s better to not even try, just lay in bed and let my brain rot on YouTube (I’m trying to change the content, so at least I’m learning something).

What the hell is wrong with me?

What kind of person is afraid of (facing) free time!!!