r/Suburbanhell

I recently traveled from Marseille, France to Genova, Italy by car.

For all of the amazing design features and history of European towns and villages (and I think they are by and large superior to American ), basically none of them have serious waterfront infrastructure.

When I'm talking about waterfront structures I'm not just referring to fancy mixed used districts and walkways (Vancouver has great examples, but so does Barcelona).

What I mean is the way in which your average little town or village gives you
- actual access to the sea
- proper walkways, railings, toilets, etc.
- actual beaches, nature reserves, harbors

Especially in Italy I noticed that most of the towns and cities do not really interface with the Mediterranean Sea at all. In 90% of cases the town just sort of stops. Many of them will have railway infrastructure or decrepit industrial Estates right next to the shoreline. This is completely strange to me, since European towns usually are renowned for good urbanism.

I have also noticed this is true for mostly Mediterranean cities in Europe. Which makes even less sense to me, since you cannot really use the sea as much in the west of France or north of Spain, the Basque country etc. For some reason those regions have neat little harbors, walkways, beaches.

If you compare this to the United States, there are obviously crimes against urban design when it comes to waterfronts. Basically the entire Lake Michigan Shoreline is just one big industrial wasteland.

But if you look at any random coastal town that has some history, say along the tidewater region, Carolinas, Virginia, Georgia... even the smallest of towns will have some sort of amenity, public bathrooms, anything that makes the shoreline actually usable.

I'm really interested in everybody's opinion on this.

The other day I wrote a post about the topic in another thread, and I feel that it's a distinct enough topic for a separate deep-dive.

Do you think RV resort campgrounds might have had a hand in romanticizing this with the current generation? I'm not talking trailer parks (which are absolutely predatory and has taken advantage of low-income renters in the past) but of the 'Yogi Bear's Jellystone Park' type that has luxury amenities that you'd expect in urban communities, while being surrounded by nature.

I spent my childhood summers at this RV camp in Northern Michigan that had an indoor pool, restaurants, a mini golf course and a video rental place (this was during the 2000s decade, you don't need to age-shame me) that was also surrounded by the kind of nature you'd expect in the more naturalistic national/state parks. Having community events throughout the summer also helped. This actually gave me a sense of independence as all these amenities were within walking distance to the campsite we rented.

Resorts like these certainly could have been partly responsible for the skewed expectations people have for rural village living.

Do resorts like these romanticize country/village living too much? Discuss.

I feel like everywhere I look, people are saying they want to leave the city and move to the countryside. They imagine a quiet life with fresh air, a garden, some chickens, and peace. I grew up in a village, and honestly.. it’s not that simple.

Living in the countryside means work every single day. There are always things to fix, animals to feed, grass to cut, wood to carry and a MILLION other chores. it’s beautiful, but it’s definitely not an endless vacation.

I still love village life, but I think social media only shows the pretty side and ignores how much effort it takes.

Are you on the “I’d love to move” or “it’s much harder that people think” side?

Hypothetically if someone wanted to make a suburban development plan that incorporates nature rather than destroys it

Any ideas?

I had to move for a job. But I can't lie I hate my daily life here. You need a damn car to do anything and everything. There are also many potholes in this area and they don't fix them. They never fix them. Driving is a painful experience and yet I have to do it for everything and anything.

Doctor appointments are all booked months out. Dentists all booked months out. Restaurant variety is lacking. Every time I travel abroad to Istanbul/Tokyo/Toronto or go back to NYC and then come back to my Suburban apartment. I get filled with extreme disappointment and dissatisfaction with how life has gone.

I am actively trying to leave and will do a masters abroad if I can't get a job in NYC LA SF or Seattle. But I have given myself till the end of 2026 to find an exit job first before I try to do a masters abroad.

We just had a leadership change in our HOA, and since then, living in this neighborhood has been an outright circus. Every other week, there is some warning, notice, or fine posted on our doors

At first, it was annoying but somewhat understandable like no ugly sheds visible from the street, keep front yards clean. Fine. I get wanting the neighborhood to look nice

Then they decided some of the older trees were ruining the aesthetic and had them removed. Now the whole street feels like a frying pan half the year because there’s barely any shade left

Then things got worse. Cats can’t wander outside. Dogs can’t bark. Kids aren’t supposed to play in front yards. Neighbors have gotten warning letters over chalk drawings on the sidewalk. I wish I was exaggerating

The rule that finally broke me? If your guests park in front of your house and even on the street for more than an hour, there’s a $20 fee. An actual fee. For having visitors…

At this point, it feels less like a neighborhood and more like a suburban dictatorship run by people with too much free time

I’m done..

We listed the property for sale, but the moment those people hear the phrase "strict HOA," they literally start looking elsewhere. It is not helping that the HOA staff is always on the move, creating havoc among the residents

Has anyone else dealt with an HOA that completely lost the plot like this?