r/Suburbanhell

My husband and I have been married 14 years and have two kids in elementary school. We live in a suburb that is close to my work and while daily life with kids can be stressful, I always thought we were happy. I work long hours in the healthcare field and he is mostly a stay-at-home dad with part-time jobs throughout the year (usually working 2 days per week in the nearby city).

He has become depressed recently and has thankfully started meds and therapy for this. He also is growing bored and resentful of the suburbs and thinks that a lot of his depression stems from our geographic location. He has complained about the suburbs for years, but I always thought he was willing to tough it out for the kids. I think he feels lonely here and that eco-anxiety is also getting to him with all the car-dependence and environmentally unfriendly turf grass lawns, etc. He is also thinking that he wants to work more now that our kids are getting older, but that his job prospects are limited here. Social life here seems to revolve around church and sports and our family is neither religious or athletic. Long story short, he wants to move back to the nearby city, where we lived before having kids.

Personally, I like my life here. I like our house and large yard where we have gardens and old growth tress. We are also living quite frugally with a 3% interest rate mortgage on a very nice house we bought before the pandemic. The way we are living now, we could comfortably retire at 55 without ever worrying about money.

I'm cool with just hanging out at home reading/doing hobbies and don't really need much for outside entertainment. We have money for concert tickets, museum memberships, babysitters, etc when we do want to go out. My kids don't want to move either because this is the only life they've ever known and they have friends in the neighborhood.

We have started looking at houses in the city and I get depressed when we go through houses that are half the size, 100+ years old, and yet will cost us twice as much in our monthly mortgage payment. Schools in the city are okay, but not as well ranked as the ones our kids are currently in.

I have voiced all of my hesitations to moving, but my husband is rather dead set on it and thinks our whole family's life will be enriched if we move to the city. Any advice on how we can get through this without one of us resenting the other or risking divorce? Should I take a (rather expensive) leap of faith and just try to make the best of city life or try to convince my husband to stay in a place he apparently hates...

Many modern suburbs look quiet and organized, but they often create hidden problems that affect daily life. Long distances between homes, stores, and workplaces make people dependent on cars for even basic needs. This can lead to traffic stress, higher expenses, and less walkable communities. Poor planning also reduces social interaction, making neighborhoods feel isolated instead of connected. While suburban development was designed for comfort and space, it sometimes removes convenience and accessibility. Discussing these challenges helps highlight how urban design choices impact everyday living and what improvements could make communities more balanced and people-friendly.

How does this sub feel about Chicago suburbs, in general but also Lake County specifically? What’s best about them? Walkability, bikeability, transit, family friendly farms, etc, etc. Eyeing a move to be closer to spouse’s family. Looking to minimize time in a car, but are also big nature people (yes we are aware of how flat it is in IL, and tips on getting to national parks and wild places to hike are appreciated).

I’m considering making a similar post to the Suburban Hell sub not as a reflection of what I think of the area, but more as a probe to get ideas about what aspects are good/bad, overblown/underblown(? lol), and areas where I can help contribute to a safe and happy place for everyone living there. As a disclaimer I’m aware of financial and logistical and perhaps even societal problems related to American suburbs, BUT we have an opportunity at homeownership in Lake County that is too good to pass up.

Thanks in advance :)

In my neighborhood growing up, loud equipment or lawn service noise was forbidden on weekends. It was so peaceful. In my “master planned” large subdivison I now live in however, I notice people are actually paying for landscape companies to come out on Saturday and Sunday mornings at all hours of the day. I understand if someone works full-time, and they do their own yard, (or actually have their own kids mow the lawn… never seen it since I was a teen) but to actually HIRE someone to come out and make a cacophony that disturbs the peaceful mornings? Certainly I cannot be the only one who thinks this is really annoying and inconsiderate? Peace and quiet on the weekends are so precious to me. But being subjected to loud commercial lawn equipment and leaf blowers for hours when they could be doing this during weekday business hours makes zero sense to me. it’s just bad form IMO.

Here is the first in a series of substack articles that will analyze the human built environment through the lens of cognitive science, ecology and thermodynamics, felt experience, and enclosure of the commons. In this article I discuss the experience of the contemporary suburban baseball complex versus the archetypal neighborhood field or sandlot. The transition is largely driven by the same capitalist logic that attempts to enclose and commodify most experience.

A new area near me was built recently and it already feels depressing. Just rows of identical apartment blocks, huge parking lots, barely any trees, and nowhere comfortable to walk during summer.

Why do so many modern neighborhoods look like this now?

https://preview.redd.it/b0jsi5augl1h1.jpg?width=1434&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15e41c19d637f85dd8dc5affc3e76f9b83a508b0

Drove past a billboard this morning for a new development and the name just boggled my mind.

"Wingspan" at Bridgelands

Ok, I guess we're trying to be clever, not sure what inspired "wingspan", there's no airport nearby. It's prairieland that's been dug up for developments, maybe it's reference to all the egrets, cranes, hawks and other winged creatures that are gone.

That got me thinking, what are the more common words or phrases you see for developments that are a combination of two words, or something absurd but sounds tranquil. Here are the words I see everywhere:

Trees & Nature: Cypress, Oaks, Pines, Meadows Trails, Woods, Park

Water: Creek, Lake, Harbor, River, Springs, Cove, Bend, Bay

Community-bases: Villages, Town (or Towne), City, Metro, Station

Prestige/Luxury: Estates, Reserve, Manor, Enclave, Retreat, Vista

Bonus points, combine two words, one from each category to come up with your own development name. Or share the weird ones, "Elyson", "Solterra", "Viridian".

I'm trying to research examples so I can visualize what good, infilled suburbs can look like. Also, books/online resources about suburban infill would be appreciated as well

Anyone else sick of working just to live in ticky-tacky suburban strip-mall hell?

Hey everyone. Been thinking about something lately.
When you’re buying a home, you’re not just buying the house - you’re buying the neighborhood. Schools, safety, what’s around, what daily life actually looks like. But figuring all that out feels like a second job. You end up digging through GreatSchools, crime maps, Zillow, Google Maps, Reddit… and still not sure if you’re getting the full picture.
Is this actually how it works, or am I missing something? Are there good tools out there that make this easier?