r/TearsOnWitheredFlower

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I don't think I have to tell anyone who Beom Taeha is in this group. We have all seen for ourselves how he has stalked and used his father's men to monitor Haesoo in the earlier parts of the story. His methods ultimately changed when he decided that he would no longer watch her from the background. "At first, I only watched from afar. If it were possible I intended to keep it that way forever." We may not have a complete backstory on their first meeting yet but we have had the opportunity to see what happened before our story started in chapter one. As he watched Haesoo every day it broke him to see how she pushed herself to limit of breakdown for a man who treated her so poorly. It broke him to the point that he decided that if her life was going to get better he was going to have to break the cycle of her abusive life and replace her husband with himself. The best way to do this was by implementing Supportive Manipulation. Supportive Manipulation is a way to use manipulative tactics by framing things in a way that is seen as helpful or positive. Manipulation is often discussed in a negative context, but Taeha uses it in a ways like encouragement, praise, and indirect suggestions to guide Haesoo towards a desired outcome. This is the exact opposite of Coercive Control tactics. Examples of this would include praise for minor improvements, asking questions instead of giving direct orders, and making a problem easy to solve. This is all to encourage Haesoo to take a specific action that Taeha wants her to achieve. Even though it is a somewhat nonstandard approach we can see that the effects were relatively fast, but I can't say it was done painlessly.

Haesoo struggles a lot in the begging of Taeha's approach. She is so closed off that she finds it mostly unacceptable to even share an umbrella with a man she doesn't know. Her co-worker kept insisting that he must like her, and this only made her question herself even more. He used the slowly then all at once tactic when meeting with her. His meetings with her would be considered Micro-Dates. This is the time he would spend with her between jobs and walking her home at night. He needed her to get more comfortable with his presence in her life. During these times her would pick with her and tell her things like "I'll be sad if you don't reply to my messages" and "You should do whatever you want to do". Him telling her that she should do whatever she wants was really a turning point for her. Mincheol had never given her a free pass to make her own decisions like that in the entirety of their relationship. The more Taeha spent time with her the more he could gauge what would and would not be acceptable for him to say or do. For instance, he never touched her until she touched him. He took all his cues from her and her body language for what would be an acceptable amount of exposure to his manipulations. He would do things like lean in and touch her with his body, but his hands would be in his pockets. This was all done to produce a certain amount of comfort, because if his hands were in his pockets she wouldn't have to be worried he might grab her. He would also go out and get into fights with people who he had seen treating her cruelly only to later meet with her and get her to treat his wounds. He mentions in the story that getting injured is the cheapest way for him to get her attention. He uses this bodily harm to manipulate Haesoo into not only touching him but also caring form him, and if she cares form him she will let him into her heart. He is desperately using these manipulative tactics to reach her emotions so that she can break the cycle of emotional abuse she has endured.

Coercive Control is how you control someone to do and be a certain way that you want them to be. Taeha uses Supportive Manipulation, which is the complete opposite of Coercive Control. There is a certain amount of uncertainty when you use Supportive Manipulation on someone. Since you are giving them more free will and the right to choose by making decisions for themselves you have to constantly gauge what your next steps will be. This will also backfire sometimes. The most notable time we see this happen is in Chapter 44. Taeha is going to attempt to get Haesoo to spend time with him by 'being sick', but this didn't work the way he expected it to work. Haesoo had already called out of work for the day because she, herself, wanted to spend time with him. She had made that choice all on her own, because now that she knows she can make choices she decides to do things that she wouldn't normally do. This left Taeha to scramble and change directions from having a fever to "I'm fine. I just have a lot of body heat because I'm young". Taeha uses Supportive Manipulation from day one of the story to break the cycle of Haesoo's Coercive Control that was emplemented by Mincheol. By breaking that control with his manipulation he has given her more of her own free will.

I would venture to say that the largest obstacle Taeha faces would be the Emotional Abuse that Haesoo has fully settled into. This would mean that Haesoo herself is his biggest problem. She is practically a zombie when the story first starts due to the amount of emotional bankruptcy she has experienced over the years with Mincheol. So what is his plan? Guerilla tactics. He intends to poke and prod at her emotions until she starts feeling something. He doesn't want to break her, but he does want to cause am emotional response. He understands that this won't happen without some pain, and any time he causes her pain it also causes him pain. He suffers from some of his own tactics, but he knows that it will work if he can awaken her emotions again. This is one of the reasons why he suffered so much after they spent their first night together. He tells Lee Jay that he had given her his love and his first time, but it wasn't enough. He really was at a loss when she told him that he needed to understand that what they had was just a physical relationship. He didn't know what he needed to do after that, and he floundered for a minute to regroup. He had thought that if he got to the point of physical contact with her that he would be able to get her to open up to him more, but with her words she had shut him out. We, the readers, know of course that that wasn't actually how she felt, but it's what she said and he he respects her words. He always respects her words and feelings, so he needed a new approach. What is this new approach you might ask, well it was his body. He figured that if she liked it then he was going to give it to her. This also works with his manipulation tactics. Since she was making her own choices now then the only way to reach her was going to be through the parts of him she chose to have. Implementing this would later get him things he wanted like dates, quality time, and even space in her closet for his clothes. Overall, it was a tactic that was very risky, but it has had it's payoffs. She told someone he was her boyfriend, and then later told someone he was her husband. I'm sure either one of these is a hat he would surely wear. His plan is to use Supportive Manipulation to give her a sense of herself back, so that when the time comes and she has to make the choice between him and Mincheol he will be the choice she makes. He fully intends to be the man at her side when the dust of that settles.

Location: Ikebukuro Animate

He really is look like Taejoo when he's young

And there's a theory that Taeha Repeating Taejoo did in the past with his arranged marriage wife Taehee mother and the mistress Taeha mother

Incoming crash out! I don't even care that it's his and Haesu's backstory anymore. I just don't care about their story at this point because I'm so TIREDT of seeing him! We didn't even get a glimpse of the main couple this chapter!! I kept scrolling and seeing that the chapter was getting closer to the end and thinking no it's ok we can still go back to Taeha and Haesu in the apartment. No we can still go back there...well F@CK! Are we even going to go back to them in the apartment or is a little bit of kissing really all we're going to get of them finally being together? What is happening with this story that was so good for the first half?!

I'm over it y'all. Fricking over seeing that stupid ass carrot head and I don't even give a crap that we're finally seeing what happened between them. We shouldn't have had him shoved down our throats so much especially in the last ten chapters (that's three MONTHS including the hiatus, you guys!) at the expense of seeing the main couple that we love.

I jokingly said that it should be renamed Tears on a Withered Mincheol since he's shown so much but at this point I'm starting to feel like it seriously is his story. Like the author just adores him and this panel I included is her words to Minshit. I just...sigh, end of rant. 😔