My dad passed away about 3 years ago and it cost $1,100 to cremate him. My father in law passed yesterday and now it cost $2,500 for that same service. Just to cremate. Burial, casket, ceremony is just too much nowadays(could be anywhere from $30k to $100k) and hard to find plots that are decently priced . Why can't we go in peace without worrying about the cost? This is the Bay area, California.
For those that did online schooling for their degree. What in-person resources did you use to graduate? I feel sort of separated from a full learning experience and was curious to know if and how successful you were with finding local study groups, or hands on experience that weren't necessarily a clinical round.
I recently had to restart my degree program while being at the 60 credit marker. Not from failing but missed a lot of time dealing with court appearances (I didn't do anything wrong someone tried to take my life.) And essentially fell behind. Not going to lie, I feel a bit discouraged but it is what it is.
I still want to complete degree and still feel the need to go into this field. However the new degree plan online has felt lacking compared to previous one. I feel as if doing more face to face would nullify the angst im feeling now with finishing and get me across the finish line.
Hi all, I am working on a short film about my mothers passing and I am trying to locate or source a book that was given to me by the funeral director’s when she passed for the piece.
I’ll do my best to describe it because I don’t know the official name but essentially we were led into a room after we said she wanted to be cremated and handed a magazine sized book with photos of all kinds of objects that the ashes could be turned into. This is the magazine I’m looking for the film.
What is this booklet called?
And if anyone has an outdated or unused one I’d be happy to purchase and pay to have shipped to me if possible, please send me a dm.
TL;DR: My father passed away suddenly and we paid thousands to a funeral home. At the private family viewing, my dad was completely unrecognizable (terrible makeup, nose/mouth completely wrong, tie crumpled on top his casket). When we politely asked for adjustments, the mortician loudly yelled about us behind a locked door, saying she "wasn't playin' with this family." When confronted, she was incredibly rude and hung up on us. Want to know next best steps for holding her and the business accountable.
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Hi, my father recently passed away suddenly, and I was tasked with organizing his funeral. We went to our scheduled private family viewing (before the public one 48 hrs after) to spend time with my dad. When we arrived we found his tie crumpled up on top of the casket. As we walked closer we saw makeup all over the collar of his shirt, his nose was completely wrong, his lips the wrong color, mouth was set too far forward and deeply frowned, and overall no one felt at peace or even comforted with seeing my dad. We were all horrified, and not really in the "family not used to seeing dead person" way, but in a "my family member is unrecognizable" way. However I was prepared for this in a weird way and wrote some notes for the funeral home for adjustments. I also asked a staff member if he'd be wearing the tie on Sunday and she said "no you brought us the wrong shirt for him to wear a tie." Mind you, I brought in my dad's clothes a WEEK ago. They didn't notice until they were dressing him that it wasn't the right shirt? They couldn't have given us a call to let us know to bring a different shirt in?
I wasn't too happy but I kept it polite all the way through, despite grieving him and trying to make this the best goodbye it could be. She said she'd let the mortician know of our issues and to ask about the shirt. I returned to the room with my father's body in it.
As we were standing inside, I hear through a staff only door, "What do you mean they have issues? So are they gonna bring a new dang shirt or not? John**, you better go out there and tell this family I'm not playin' with them!"
My whole family heard. We were all pretty much in shock, so my older sister tried to go speak with her but the door was locked. So she went back out to the staff member and asked to speak to whoever was in that room. Instead of coming out, the mortician(?) called my sister and asked "what the issue" was and my sister calmly explained our adjustments and asked about the tie. The mortician insisted we need to bring a new shirt in if it was a problem and that she'd see about the other issues. My sister then said "And I do want to let you know, that your voice carries and my whole family heard you talking about us. We're a grieving family and we just want our loved one, my dad to be respected that's all." The mortician was silent before saying "what are you even asking about?!"
Not wanting to upset our family further my sister simply said "You know in your heart what you said. We just ask you be more mindful. Have a nice day." And the mortician hung up. The WHOLE time we could hear her talking through the phone, but also through the door 😭
We couldn't believe that we had just paid thousands of dollars to this funeral home only for us and my dad to be treated this way. I feel like I should report her to someone, but unsure how to escalate from here. Is there some sort of formal reporting process or a board? I just think it's unacceptable that she talked to our family that way. I wish I didn't pick that funeral home. Feeling some regret and worry about my dad not being respected.
Also, how does this industry someone avoid ever paying overtime? I used to work for a major funeral corporation(owned by a billionaire family) and they somehow fangled "compressed work weeks," "banked hours," "modified work agreements," to ever avoid paying a cent in overtime. Worked 78 hours this week, sorry, standard pay cheque. We need a union.
I literally had this happen to me YEARS ago, and the kid is now 15 and NOT doing okay. Also, family drama happened where the parents were legal next of kin and buried him in a cemetery that wasn't marked. Freak accident early in my career, and I've never seen someone like that again. No drugs or drinking, just an auto-immune disease that took his liver and 4 days to live.
She was 3/4 at the time. I stopped her grandparents from saying those words to her a couple of times and explained why.
Well, the grandma still said it.
She was still too young to understand what was actually going on. Everyone was crying and hugging her, and she was just watching everyone's emotions and trying to figure out WHAT was going on.
By the end of the service, CAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE PASTOR SAID IT TOO, this sweet thing came up to me crying and asking me what did little girls like her dog to make God want her dad more.
I believe I said the right thing cause I focused on child psychology and children grief summer camps. Also, I have been told by many adults that have had this happen to them to NEVER let anyone say GOD did this cause it made them HATE GOD.
What have you've done, and bonus if you had the privilege to see them later in life.
I'm sure this is asked a lot, so I hope this is okay.
I have a degree in professional writing and was a technical writer for the last 15 years. However, I got laid off for the second time in a row back in Dec 2025, and finding new employment has been impossible. It's such a saturated industry, and when you add the widespread adoption of AI, it's 10x worse.
I have decided to do a complete career change. After months of trying to narrow my skills, strengths, and what I think I would be good at, I landed on this career. When I thought of this profession, I felt the same "It's my calling" feeling I had when I found the writing degree I took.
For so many reasons, it is exactly what I want to do.
I've signed up for an intro to funeral services course that starts next week, and as long as I am still feeling this way when I finish that, I'm going to go ahead and apply for the funeral director and embalmer program.
My questions are really about how to approach funeral homes to secure employment. I truly don't care what job I get; I want my foot in the door so I can learn how it all works.
I know there are a limited number of funeral homes in a city, so I want to make sure I am approaching each of them in the best way, since there are only so many places that could hire me. I understand this industry is different than most, so I truly need to set my best foot forward. I need help doing that.
- How did you start your career in this industry?
- Did you email to ask if they had openings, call to ask about employment opportunities, or just randomly show up one day and ask to speak to someone?
- Or, did you simply send your resume in to a job opening you saw on a job board?
- What kind of things did you say to get across that you were truly interested in this as a career and you weren't just looking for any old job?
- Did you tell them you were planning on going to school, or that you were in school? Do you think them knowing this would help or hinder someone's chance of being hired?
-Are there certain personality types that do best in this industry? Can you think of some traits or qualities that are truly important?
Please let me know anything else you feel could be helpful.
I truly appreciate it.
My doggo is nearing the end. I have always wanted to have his remains used to make some sort of tile I can put in a floor. What sort of options are there?
For context, my dog Monster is ALWAYS in the way. He loves to lay down in the middle of every possible doorway/walkway. It’s hilarious and has always just been his quirk. We think it’s because he really likes being able to see where everyone is/is going. I would like to cut out a small part of my wood floor and replace with “his tile” in his favorite “in the way” spot.
I’m sure there are other similar ways I could honor his memory, but none have come to me. So please share if you have others.
I'm looking to study embalming/funeral directing in BC Canada. I've already tried my hardest to reach out to funeral homes asking if they have entry level positions but everyone pretty much dismissed me and had no interest.
I've reached out to BC Trades and they gave me some info as well as the person who runs the school. I am going to apply for a scholarship if I can and then intake would be spring 2027.
I just feel a bit overwhelmed? I am also really concerned that I won't be considered because of my tattoos. I have them mostly on my arms but my fingers and hands are also tattooed so I can't cover it. Nothing is offensive but I understand this industry is conservative due to the clientele and long standing folks that are still in the industry.
After the passing of my Dad due to stage 4 cancer and then almost losing my son due to a mental health crisis (one after the other) I've seen first hand how important it is to have someone be there at the worst points in your life to guide you and help you. I want to be that for other people but I don't know how to do it.
Hi Everyone,
I came back from a funeral today and the funeral home did a fantastic job. The person who died was an elderly woman and just everything about the visitation conveyed that great care and even kindness was given to the body to prepare it for the viewing.
A long time ago (almost two decades) I worked in an unrelated field with a woman who had a background in a funeral home, preparing bodies for viewing. I remember she said that at times she felt the spirits of some of the deceased, and was always gentle and respectful to the deceased because she wanted to help them pass over if their spirits were still attached to the bodies.
Is it unusual to sense the spirits of the people who you’re working on? I don’t know of “spirits” is the right word and I absolutely don’t mean any disrespect. I am just genuinely interested if this is a common event.
Made an order with cvs today.. first store’s order got canceled and I made a second at another store. They literally ran out of ink printing the photo before ours… They sent us to another CVS and that one wouldn’t be open long enough to print the photo. That CVS sent us to another that would be open and had the capability. We get there and they inform us that they actually do not have a big enough printer.. all the stores are closed now..
I’m blindsided because I’ve always used CVS for all my same day prints. But I guess they’re phasing out scanners and large printers. The funeral is tomorrow.
Do you guys have any tips for getting 16x20s extremely last minute? 10AM start… starting to feel hopeless about it.
At my current cemetery (which is a combo location), I get handed pricing calls at any hour when I am assigned to phone duty, but that wasn't made clear to me when I interviewed for this role or was trained for it. There has been zero communication about expectations regarding taking pricing calls on off hours and whether we need to take our laptops home to have all price info handy or if it's okay to take down their name and number and call them back the next day. All I've been told is that I'm supposed to pick up the phone, and that didn't even come from my manager. I'm not sure my immediate manager is even aware that we are being sent these calls from our answering service after hours.
I ask because at my previous cemetery/FH combo, no cemetery employees were on call. You either were at work or you weren't, only FDs/removal crew were on call. Since my sample size is only 2, I'm not sure which is the outlier here.
So, other cemetery employees (or FDs and admins at combo locations), are you ever on call, and what is expected of you if you are?
My dog recently passed away, and we had her cremated. She weighed approximately 36 kg (79 lbs).
The cremation service told us that the cremation was performed at around 1600°C (2912°F) for approximately 5 hours. She was cremated together with a blanket.
When we received the ashes, I was surprised by how little there was. The total weight of the ashes we received was only about 100 grams (3.5 oz).
The ashes are very fine and light gray, almost like a fine powder.
I understand that most of the body is water and organic material, and that bones are processed after cremation, but 100g seems extremely low for a 36 kg dog.
Does anyone here have experience with pet cremation or know what a typical amount of ashes would be for a dog of this size?
Could the high temperature and 5-hour cremation explain such a small amount, or should I be concerned that something may have gone wrong or that not all of the remains were returned to us?
I’m not trying to accuse the crematorium of anything. I’m just genuinely confused and would really appreciate some insight from people who have experience with this.
Have any of you gotten a bachelors of mortuary science from them?
I’ve been a director for ten years. I graduated and got licensed in 2016.
I’m starting their online program tomorrow and I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me to ask you guys if anyone has experience with this school?
After a great deal of thought and prayer, my wife and I are interested in a direct cremation. I think I would like a pre-need so that my son does not face a lot of decision-making, etc.
He’s our son and the only family member that might care.
Couple of questions:
This guy dated my mother for over 10 years and provided financial stability while she went to school to get her nursing license. Her is now getting g up there in age and declining in health. I really don’t care if it’s proper etiquette or acceptable, but I want to drag his name through the dirt at his funeral.
He started beating me at 2 years old because I shat in my diaper. Then he always bragged about how I never had an accident after that. He’d beat me bareass with a belt to the point I’d bleed and do it all over again when the marks went away. I was bullied at school and I’d stand up for myself and get in trouble. His brother was superintendent and his other brother was parish president so it’d look bad so he’d try to beat it out of me. I remember asking him one time if he’d be want to be my dad. He told me he never wanted kids and if he could have our mom without us, he would. I saw him hit my mom so I finally grew a backbone and punched him back. He grabbed me by the throat and pinned me against a wall and when my mom tried to stop him, he did the same to her until I grabbed a knife and threatened to stab him.
I want people to know what an absolute disgusting piece of shit he was an that my only regret is that I didn’t get the satisfaction of doing it myself.
Would this be illegal? Or would all I have to worry about is fighting rich old white people or getting kicked off the property?
This is in Louisiana btw
Just curious, im only a funeral attendant but even after working for 9 months here, I still cry so hard after work sometimes. Seeing bodies is okay, I feel bad but move on. Seeing families break down and scream? Yeah I have to excuse myself because I cant hold it together. After work today I sobbed on the way home. Some days are better than others but it gets really hard sometimes :(
Edit: im so sorry I made it sound like I cry everyday or every other day, maybe i sounded too dramatic haha😭 I love this job alot, i love helping families, and my dream career is to be an embalmer. Its more like once a month where I break down AFTER work because hearing the screams and stories that people talk about their loved one is what hits me the most, I think its so beautiful seeing and hearing how much people cared about one person and it breaks my heart hearing them and seeing them fall apart. Ive only had to excuse myself like three times because it was someone very young and my tears were about to burst out my eyeballs haha. My coworkers say ill get used it to it soon and my manager knows that I cry alot haha, she knows I just care toooooo much 😭
Hi there, I need some advice on how to navigate this situation. My children had an uncle who passed on July 2nd, of this year. There is a bunch of what I feel are red flags regarding the funeral home. I did do some mortuary school and have helped elderly family members plan final arrangements. But the first thing that threw me for a loop is the $6k bill to cremate him. He is an average size man and would not need a bigger table.
This in Wisconsin. When my former MIL went to go see him to say good bye, the funeral director made everyone pay $100 each to go in and see him.
That was around July 5th-7th.
Then the family was told to pick up his cremains in a few days. My former MIL drove four hours up north to collect him. When she got there one of the staff members was honest with her and said that he had not been cremated yet but then the owner/lead director printed out another bill for storage fees but claimed they had him in the cremation chamber as they were speaking. Nope he was not.
She has gone up there every few days now to get his cremains. They will not tell her anything except "nope not yet." And keep charging cooler storage fees. I have never seen or delt with anything like this but I do know that he was not embalmed and he still has not been cremated and they are charging $6k to do only the cremation.
I did tell her too that once she recieves his ashes, before she even walks out the door of that funeral home, her and the rest of the family need to check if they truely are cremains because there is something very unsettling about this funeral home and their practices. Who does she need to contact to help her get her brother's ashes back? Or at this point, if they still have not done it, get him transferred to another funeral home?
Thank you in advance.