AIMS - Can I handle motherhood..
Am I missing something about wanting to start a family?
Ok yall.. I am 24(f) and have been married to my HS sweetheart (24m) for a little over a year, though we have lived together since we were both 20.
Basically my whole life, I have never been able to picture myself going through pregnancy/birth and being a mom.. until me and my husband started getting actually serious. Over the last few years I have found myself starting to have the desire to start a family. My problem is I’m TERRIFIED. Of pregnancy. Of birth. Of the newborn faze. Of being a mom. The responsibility. The change to my marriage/relationship. The change to my body and mind. The financial aspect. The feeling of never measuring up to how good of a mom I want to be. And the list goes on. I know a lot of this is fear of the unknown. And I’m terrified of things that don’t have a clear answer. HOW DO I GET OVER IT? Over the past few months especially, I have found myself multiple times being tempted to just not take my pill and see what happens lol.. I just can’t pull the trigger!!
More context-
- I’ve never had a positive outlook on my body. And I’ve always associated having children with gaining weight and never being the same again.
- I never grew up around small children - me and my cousins were the babies of the family. I never babysat, played with small children, etc. Literally little to no experience with kids. But I do enjoy the ones I do get to know.
- I will be the only one between my sisters that will have kids any time soon. This makes me feel like I’ll be lonely and also my kids won’t have cousins on my side of the family that are close .. :( We have several friends that are having babies but tbh I’m not very close with many of the girls. We all have very different/separate lives. I will for sure need to find some mom friends eventually!!
- childcare will be a problem I’m sure. All our parents work full time. This can be ironed out, but still a worry of mine.
- my husband has always wanted kids. He’s going to be the best dad and he’s been so so patient with me while I try to mentally prepare myself to try for kids.
- I’m scared to try and then actually get pregnant right away.. I’m also scared to try and have to wait years. lol. You just never know.
Anybody’s else in the same boat? I’d love to be friends! Any and all advice/experience is very much welcome.
Help a girl out PLEASE!! 👍🏻