r/cultsurvivors

For context, my husband and I have been together for 14 years and have 2 daughters at this point. The only time we really got engulfed in the Pentecostal “ message” church was when we were teens and his mom forced us to go there as long as we lived with her. Anyway, fast forward to now many many years later and we didn’t go there for years ( maybe 12-13 ) because as soon as we left and got our own place we just had no desire to keep going.
So about a year ago my husband completely did a 180 and became super religious. I’ve never seen him like this and over the past year it’s not been great. He’s still kind and loving at times but I also feel like through the year his mindset and worldview has shifted and he’s started acting super odd and losing his entire personality for what I knew he was. For example, he didn’t talk to his mom for a couple of years due to her never being a good mom etc, and now he’s buddy buddy with her and will almost sometimes even put me beneath her to appease her! He disagrees though, so I guess that’s my perspective. He’s also become super misogynistic, even though he claims that he’s not. Anyway, we’ve definitely clashed over the past year . Before he got into this religion he literally told me was obsessed with with me all the time and how much he loved and cherished our family but now he’s so different. He claims he still loves me but last night said he was heavily thinking about divorce because we really clash and were completely opposite now.
I also forgot to add that through him becoming really religious, I’ve completely deconstructed.
I’m so devastated, he always told me he loves me and wants to be with me even in an argument but last night he just told me that he feels like he doesn’t know anymore. We weren’t even arguing. He just said he’ll be thinking because divorce is a really big decision to make.
I feel so hurt and empty. I feel like he’s completely a different person and I grieve who he was so bad.

Hi there, I'm sorry if this isn't allowed. I'm not trying to take a survey or anything, I have serious concerns for my sister, and I figured a subreddit full of survivors might have good opinions on this.

See my sister has untreated ADD and has a hard time focusing on regular church sermons, so when she found a Pentecostal/revival church where there was constant moving and shouting, it helped her stay focused on the sermon.

Well she recently moved back down to my state, but is still 5 hours away, as her husband is military and will retire after this last station. My sister was very concerned about finding a good church when they moved, and so her pastor told her about a church in the area he's affiliated with and told her to check it out.

Well on her way to the church, she passed a sign in her neighborhood that led to a different church. A smaller one that's basically just for the neighborhood. She went to this one instead and found it was also a Pentecostal/revival style church, and so she figured since it was closer to home, she would just go to it instead.

She. Goes. There. Probably 4 days out of the week. The pastor just comes up with newer and crazier sermons and she doesn't shy to tell me about them and how wonderful he is at his job.

She gets so excited when she learns something new. She calls me and has to tell me all about it "Sister! Did you know we need to fully submit to our husbands?? That it doesn't matter how he acts and that since you are legally bound to him you just have to go along with it?? We as women are beneath man! It's incredible!"

>And yes, I'm aware we were made out of man therefore lower than him in the role of family but it clearly says in the Bible, RIGHT AFTER the part about women being submissive to their husbands, for the husbands to also be on the same page as their wives and respect them.

"We're more susceptible to demon possession, than men are, because we ate the fruit first! We should be praying daily over our heels because in the Bible it says "you will crush his head and he will strike your heel" so your heels are vulnerable to a demon entering that way!"

> First off. God said that to the snake. And the "He" in that statement is Jesus. It's said to be the very first prophecy spoken in the Bible and by God. Absolutely NOTHING was said about Eve's/women's heels.

Then the day her pastor made a spectacle out of the women in the church. He held up 5 envelopes and claimed they all had checks in them. 1 had $500 in it and the rest had $100. He asked who wanted them and whoever ran to the front first got them. My sister, along with quite a few other women, sprinted to the front. She got the envelope with $500.

All 5 women who got the checks stayed up front while the pastor said "Wow. Look at you all up here acting like this over money. When God should be the only thing you should run like that for." Then he revealed that all the checks were fake.

I can't tell if he's conditionIng the women of the church or if he's just a misogynist who uses sermons to pick on women?? He's married but I know that doesn't matter. Men can act completely different with their wives than they do other women.

Why is hard to live normal life after leaving pentecostal church am having this headaches behind my back am forgetting things why is this happening guys... i want to feel safe again without any doubts of life

I’ve been shutdown for a while now. I’ve been able to cry pretty much everyday for about 4 months now but I still get triggered. But crying is pretty much my only form of expression. I can’t get angry and if do it just bring more numbness. It’s like my ‘anger’ really isn’t anger because if it were I would be experiencing it in a different way. I wouldn’t just try to get angry to get over it. I would really be angry, and it’s hard to know what that looks like. Anytime I try to work on myself the manager comes in and tries to make it perfect. I’ll feel guilty, so I’ll do more and it just makes me feel terrible. My OCD made religion like a cult for me. I don’t really know what to do to be honest. I just feel pressured to get better and lord knows I’ll feel guilty I’m not doing enough and force myself to do something and just feel worse. I literally have the worst trigger I feel like I’m gonna pass out and have some aneurysm. There’s like an audible buzz in my brain and I’ll experience mental inflammation. What makes it all worse is that the suffering probably means nothing. There’s no more extra reward for it like I used to think. God isn’t gonna give me extra points or really do anything. But I always kinda hoped it would. I don’t know what to do. I got hip surgery a couple weeks ago and haven’t been doing much but I know the moment I can walk again my dad will just get pissed off im not doing anything and its gonna cause more stress. Im only 19 but the past 5 years of my life have been pretty poor due to religion. I just never said anything until I couldn’t take it. So many different people I became. So many lies and feelings of guilt to make myself Christian. I either need to suffer or need to perform. No in the middle. It’s not even my life anymore, doesn’t really feel like it ever was. My whole life it’s kinda felt like that. It was never debilitating though, religion is what really destroyed me at around 14. That’s when I told myself I knew who I was. Everything was black and white and I always had to be best and dedicated to the practice. I don’t know what to do I never really feel free at all.

I recently came across a Catholic cult where sex abuse is a consistent allegation but it is not generally reported to authorities and there seems to be no concerted action. There seems to be fear of leaders finding out and shunning/penalising reporters and prob trying to cover up. It's very much a family-based cult but very big in the world, and very much protected by bishops and the Vatican, as is the cult I was in, Opus Dei.

In other words there is a culture of fear and misguided loyalties to relatives and fellow members, as well as cynicism that authorities would take action (no doubt justified). It strikes me that success could come via an online coordinated anonymous movement with just one or two coordinators prepared to be public and front things to protect the victims and reports.

Any thoughts or experiences on this? Thank you

Been doing lots of research to write about it and depict it as realistically and respectfully for victims of cults ; was wondering if maybe there were some different stages it could go through/needed to go through, motivations, and the overall feeling surrounding it. Did the abuse start straight away ?

Are there recurring stages to cult creation?

Thank you for any response/experiences shared !

Can I talk to some people who experienced this with religion or a cult. I try to explain my experience to people but they seem to not understand. All my emotions had to be filtered through god, my ending conclusion on any emotion was directed through religion. Nothing could truly be expressed and it got to the point where I felt I was going insane. I try to get angry or anxious and I have made some progress. But the feeling of making it perfect or needing approval is still there. It’s like my brain tightens the harder I try and I can’t lose the control. Some pretty intense feelings almost like I’ll pass out if I am triggered.

Currently recovering from an extremely toxic workplace. I live in a small town in the middle of the Bible belt where everyone knows everyone and if you're not a good old boy or don't play their social games (gossiping, backstabbing, etc.) you're pretty much public enemy #1. Closing in on a full year after quitting (luckily for a much better job working from home) and the more time that passes I feel like I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that there was a strong herd mentality leading to a work environment that very closely resembled a cult. There was even someone from outside this workplace who I met on a dating app and shared a brief friendship with only to realize after I ended the acquaintance because something didn't feel right (trusting my instincts, he said a few weird things throughout our interactions that triggered the wounds left by the constant harassment at said workplace and now I know rightfully so) that this person knew and was in contact with one of my worst harrassers. Both experiences have really shaken my level of trust in humanity and just trying to meet new people in general but I'm still trying. I refuse to give up and let these people win since overall this was just a moment in my life and they're just a small group of people realistically. Does anyone have a similar experience where their work environment had a cult like environment/mentality?