i’m posting this from a burner account because i really don’t want any of this being traced back to me right now. i’m not ready for people in the scene to know who i am or who i’m talking about, i just really need outside opinions because i’ve been carrying this around and don’t know what to do.
i’ve been trying to type this out myself and keep deleting it because it makes me too upset, so i’m just going to explain it the best i can.
last year i met a dj on radiate before a festival. he has around 20k followers now and is followed by a lot of bigger names in the dubstep scene, including multiple artists who have been very outspoken about being against sexual assault. before the festival he offered for me to stay with him and i said no. we still ended up meeting there. the first night we just talked for a while and i went back to my airbnb alone. he kept asking over text if he could come over and i kept saying no.
the next day we spent pretty much the whole day together. we kissed, but i was very clear with him throughout the day that we were not going to have sex and that he was not coming back to my airbnb with me. i remember saying it at least 5 times. later that night i got extremely drunk. he ordered an uber for us and i thought he was making sure i got back to my airbnb and then going wherever he was staying, but instead he came inside with me.
after that my memory is extremely fragmented. i remember pieces of us having sex, but huge parts of the night are completely gone. i woke up the next morning and he was next to me. the part i’ve been struggling with is that i remember being very clear while i was sober that i did not want to have sex with him, but i barely remember the sex itself because of how drunk i was.
at the time i did not process it that way at all. i was in denial and kept texting him afterward and trying to act like everything was normal because i didn’t want to think about what had happened. then about 5 days later he completely ghosted me, and i think that made it even easier for me to just bury the whole thing and pretend it never happened.
recently it all started coming back up and i finally had to actually think about it instead of avoiding it. i reached out to him because i wanted to hear what he remembered from that night. i told him i wasn’t trying to reconnect with him, that i had no intention of ever seeing him again, and that i just needed clarity because the gaps in my memory combined with how clearly i remember saying i didn’t want to have sex were really upsetting me. he never responded.
then there’s the second dj. i’ve been on and off with him for almost 8 months. he has around 30k followers and is also followed by some pretty big artists in the scene. this wasn’t just some random person i told. i cared about him and trusted him enough to tell him something i had barely even been able to admit to myself.
when i told him what happened, he was really supportive at first. he told me how sorry he was, said it broke his heart that i had gone through that, and acted like he understood why i was so upset. i asked him to unfollow the first dj because seeing someone i had been involved with for months still following the person i told him assaulted me was painful. i wasn’t asking him to publicly call him out or start drama. instead, the very next day they went and hung out together and started posting each other on their instagram stories.
and now the second dj has ghosted me too. after almost 8 months of being on and off with someone, i told him one of the most upsetting things that has happened to me, he told me how sorry he was, went and hung out with the guy the next day, and then stopped talking to me. i know what the second guy did is obviously not the same as what happened with the first guy, and i’m not trying to compare them, but i cannot understand how you can hear something that serious from someone you care about and then choose to go hang out with that person the next day.
what’s also been hard is watching both of them get bigger in the scene. the first dj especially is followed by countless well known artists, including people who have publicly talked about how strongly they are against sexual assault, and all i can think about is how none of them know.
i haven’t named either person here because i’m still scared of what happens if i make this public. part of me wants to say something because i don’t want to keep watching him grow in the scene while i carry this by myself, and i also don’t want to stay quiet and then find out something similar happened to another girl. at the same time, i’m terrified people won’t believe me because i stayed in contact with him afterward, because i don’t remember the whole night, or because so much time has passed.
i also want to work in festival marketing or artist relations after college, and the rave scene is basically the industry i want to build my career in. that makes this even scarier because i don’t know what speaking publicly could do to my future. i don’t want one of the worst things that has happened to me to end up costing me my career, my reputation, or completely taking over my life too.
i tried to give him the chance to talk to me privately about what happened and he chose not to respond. i’m not really sure what i’m looking for other than other people’s thoughts, especially from people who are actually part of the dubstep/rave community.

edit: i’ve never blacked out in my life so starting to think something else was in play, i always throw up before that point because my body can’t even handle that much alcohol.

1. The Picture

• I get it please take the picture when you are in the moment! ALLL of you put the time in to grab the pic....... IT KILLS THE crowd....... finish out your set with complete bangers and capture the pic at the end with the people who want to be there for the finish!!!! i get wanting a full crowd in the photo but come on..... pic at the end.

2. If its nice play it twice

• I am all for if its nice play it twice...... but we have to set a limit..... too much stopping im like fuck...... All bricked up with wubs and then that screech of the decks im like blue balled over here. PHIL I LOVE YOU BUT TOO MUCH LEMME WUB OUT LONGERRRRRR <3

3. The Mic

• CERTIFIED PROB CAUSE HATER. Bro your raps are wack high key...... makes me wanna not even hear your music.

thanks for coming to my ted talk

https://music.apple.com/us/album/true-killers-single/6812614251

I am a BRAND new beginner, and have been slowly acquiring a list things to start making dubstep, dnb etc. I would like the ability to produce as well as dj if possible. I am wanting to work with Ableton Live. Here’s what I have on my list after researching so far:

-MacBook pro 2021 16” 16gb

-2 KRK5 rocket speakers + subwoofer

-Push 2 controller

Would you recommend against any of these or think these are good choices to get me going? Am I missing anything? Will I be able to connect all speakers/subwoofer to a laptop? Thanks so much in advance

https://music.apple.com/us/album/ghosts-in-the-static/6812916761

Best Sullivan King?

Hello, i am an enthusiast for color bass since 3 years ago and i have never been able to synthesize good color bass bases, such as the watery ones and such.

Anyone got good tutorials? WV packs? Much appreciated! I’m already familiar with sound design, i use vital.

I haven’t heard it in years. All i can remember is it was slower kinda, had a girl singer, mid 2000s. I want to say more of a smexual song. Around 2011-2015 in my middle school/early high school era. I know it’s no informationbur i’ve googled, youtubed, and spotified every combination i can think of and i just have no luck. It’s not Crave you, not Ozesza, not gemini, i’m just lost.

i also think it’s maybe a weird ish name and a pink cover but those 2 are iffy