r/fasd

So to preface, I was adopted when I was younger, but knew my mum and my siblings - my mum was a serious alcohol and drug addict (heroin and crack cocaine) - I have a brother who is highly suspected to have a more serious form of FASD, and a sister who is confirmed to have it and the most serious form - she has the facial features and also very low IQ and struggles with life I think she has a carer

I have been diagnosed several years ago with ADHD, I have incredibly poor spacial awareness and coordination, I am incredibly messy and disorganised, have lost most jobs due to lateness or other issues, I am incredibly impulsive and always have been, an addictive personality, I have very poor emotional regulation (I get worked up very easily, I can't stop thinking about things etc), I have injured myself many times by cooking etc and using scissors and knives (not intentionally).

I struggle with anxiety and depression also.

I have a slightly thin upper lip, and a less pronounced philtrum but wouldn't say you would notice it unless I pointed it out to you, I had a small hole in the walls of my heart growing up - was told the flap didn't fully close - unsure if that is related but apparently is quite common anyhow.

However I'd like to think I am quite bright, I still can live mostly a functional life aside from feeling overwhelmed a lot with responsibilities you have as you become an adult and alcohol usage as I am again incredibly impulsive and have an addictive personality.

I wanted to ask is this worth trying to speak to a GP about for a diagnosis/ what are the options if I am diagnosed/ will this mean my ADHD diagnosis is removed and I can't take medication, what do I need to ask my GP about in regards to this or info I need to mention.

\\\*To add on, it's confirmed that my mum drank whole pregnant with all of us, and probably other drugs - she was physically dependant, however if I was to ask her I know she wouldn't admit to it, my biological dad wasn't around when she was pregnant with me, my other siblings also wouldn't back this claim up either I don't think, my nan who would have been able to confirm it passed away many years ago.

I do have my adoption reports/every document there is, and there are people like her brother who would probably be able to confirm it, and possibly two people who used to look after me quite a lot who were her boyfriends at the time I was with themselves daughters.

I also have my ADHD diagnosis, and probably have school reports etc, as well as times I've got myself in trouble generally in life.

Posting on the behalf of my friend due to her not having internet access

She has just found out she is 16 week pregnant, she hasn’t had periods for a while due to her own health issues etc. but her breast started to grow and ache, she got a ultrasound and she’s 19week pregnant!
Her worries are that she has been binge drinking hard before she know (about 50 units a week) sometimes more!
And some times 1G cocaine a week.

She’s now very scared and worried something will be up with baby?? Even considering abortion at this late stage as she doesn’t want the baby to suffer
Why advice ? Experiences?

So let me start by saying my wife has FASD and is on disability. I am also on her case without a disability. More so so her disability doesn’t stop not by choice.. anyways my wife was adopted at like 12 or 13 years old. She was kicked out at 18 because she had a moment…. If you know, you know…. And bounced from the house for a year or two. Her dad bought her a home after the bouncing around.( I believe more so to hide his some of his finances from his ex-wife because it’s half in her name half in his name) or to make it so she couldn’t take it because of my wife’s disability … Mind you he he’s a pilot due to retire soon.

Anyways, he has bribed my wife. He pays her $100 a week and $50 a week in groceries to be on birth control. To make it look like he helps when she’s untitled to way more. While we pay him $1000 a month. Which increases his income. But lower out. I’m not opposed to paying rent however there’s a financial imbalance. Because she FASD and other disabilities, he is responsible for her until she passes or he passes. And even though she’s on disability, ODSP, she could be getting child support from him, and it wouldn’t affect her income.

So there has been whispers that he was moving to Panama a couple years back. A lawyer who happens to be my child’s godmother, mentioned it as well. She also explained to us that if he was to do that, he wouldn’t be responsible for her unless something was set in stone beforehand. And that worries me because she was just told by her father two days ago that he was moving in eight months, possibly and retiring…. So the deal that they have now if he gets upset, he could just stop it in a heartbeat. The house that we live in, he could just stop paying. Our income boost his income and while he’s gonna go travel the world while buy a house in Panama, we’re gonna be sitting here struggling off of $1000 a month. I don’t think that it’s right and I don’t think that’s fair to my wife. I knew when I met her that she was entitled to more, but we never pursued it but now I want to pursue it because I love her and I don’t want her to be without ever. And I fear that if this man leaves. That’s it.

I talked to her tonight and she doesn’t want to start that process with her father. Has anybody else dealt with this? And should I be calling a lawyer like tomorrow?

Also before you judge. Know tomorrow isn’t promised!! The man owes my wife duty’s I wasn’t aware of when we met. And I don’t want her skipped out on by her father when he owes her duty’s for life and moving without anything set in stone could leave us without 100$ at the very least. I’m not worried about myself either. What if something happens to me 5 years from now and my wife is left all alone. She could be left with nothing. And she would potentially have nobody. I don’t want that for her!!!

Hi, I am no longer in contact with my biological mother, she is very sensitive about this topic and also vindictive after my autism dx because she doesn’t want to believe I have issues from her drinking. I am certain if someone tried to get her statement she would not respond at this point because of the anger she has for her family. She along with others have admitted to me that she binge drank during her pregnancy. I have a screenshot text from her saying she drank as well as a letter from my grandmother and my father’s statement that she was a bartender and they drank together often as well, though he did not know she was pregnant. I do not have many facial features of the disorder minus a thin upper lip but this could be genetics. Do you think this is enough information for a formal dx as an adult? Where would you go for one?