A Dutch translation of 'Why We Build the Wall', I'd love to hear thoughts/opinions
I'm working on a full Dutch translation of Hadestown, just as a passion project, and I've just finished the first part of 'Why We Build the Wall', and would love to hear some opinions. It's a bit more focussed on immigrants/foreigners, since Dutch politics are about that a lot right now, so I thought it fit (imagining this would be performed to a Dutch audience) Below is the translation, back into English, with notes when necessary.
Why do we build the Wall?
My children, my children
Why do we build the wall?
(Note: the dutch word for 'why' is 'waarom', so in this line there is an extra syllable on the opening note.)
Why do we build the wall?
That's what we get our freedom from
So we build the wall
That's what we get our freedom from
How does the wall give us freedom then?
My children, my children
How does the wall give us freedom then?
How does the wall give us freedom then?
The wall keeps out the foreign countries
And that's what we get our freedom from
So we build the wall
That's what we get our freedom from
(Note: the first true change in lyrics. though 'enemy', or 'vijand' in Dutch, does rhyme here, the emphasis is on the first syllable so it doesn't work. Believe me, I tried to bend it as hard as I could)
What is in the foreign countries?
My children, my children
What is in the foreign countries?
(Note: here the approach truly changes from the English version, though I believe it gets across the same point. Especially when adjusted for the Dutch climate)
What is in the foreign countries?
The poverty, the immigrant
And the wall keeps out the foreign countries
And that's what we get our freedom from
So we build the wall
That's what we get our freedom from
Technically the first lines could be changed, so that the syllable for 'why' can still be held out (my one problem with the translation is that that doesn't sound as well) an alternative opening could be:
We build this wall
Why then, my children?
Do we build this wall?
We build this wall
That's what we get our freedom from
...
Though it sounds better, it doesn't feel as coherent with the lyrics.
Oh and here are the Dutch lyrics, for any Dutch readers. (Note: there is a slant rhyme on some lines, either ending in -an, -and or -ant)
Waarom bouwen wij de muur?
Mijn kinderen, mijn kinderen
Waarom bouwen wij de muur?
Waarom bouwen wij de muur?
Daar krijgen wij de vrijheid van
Dus bouwen wij de muur
Daar krijgen wij de vrijheid van
Hoe brengt de muur ons vrijheid dan?
Mijn kinderen, mijn kinderen
Hoe brengt de muur ons vrijheid dan?
Hoe brengt de muur ons vrijheid dan?
De muur weerhoudt het buitenland
En daar krijgen wij de vrijheid van
Dus bouwen wij de muur
Daar krijgen wij de vrijheid van
Wat zit er in het buitenland?
Mijn kinderen, mijn kinderen
Wat zit er in het buitenland?
Wat zit er in het buitenland
De armoede, de immigrant
En de muur weerhoudt het buitenland
En daar krijgen wij de vrijheid van
Dus bouwen wij de muur
Daar krijgen wij de vrijheid van