r/happilyOAD

Hi all! I am not a parent yet, but my husband and I will be TTC next year. I am fairly sure I am OAD - when I picture our family, one child just feels right.

One reason is because of our neurodivergence. While we haven't been tested as adults, we strongly suspect my husband has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. His main struggle is with executive functioning and overstimulation. As for me, I also get overstimulated very quickly and shut down, especially in situations with high noise, crowds, or heat.

For folks in this sub who are parents with neurodivergence or partners of someone who is neurodivergent, can you share your story in the comments? My mind sometimes plays tricks on me and tells me that we can't be successful parents, so hearing happily OAD stories from neurodivergent parents would really be helpful.

Also, our goal before TTC is to start actively addressing these concerns through therapy, primary care, etc.!

Thank you!

I’d love to hear what my fellow only families are up to this weekend. I’ve been feeling blessed we can really lean into my son’s interests—he is 4 and obsessed with dinosaurs. Today we’re going to watch a dinosaur movie outside on the projector, tomorrow we’re swimming in our town pond in the morning and meeting up with friends in the afternoon at a local farm with food and a beer garden, and Sunday we’re going to an animatronic dinosaur exhibit and getting dinner after. I’m honestly so excited and it feels so relaxing and fun to do all this with him.

How’s your week going? Seen any good movies lately? Most importantly, how is the kiddo?

Join us on Discord! DM me for an invite.

Maybe this isn’t the right place to vent about this but I just don’t really want to post it in the onlychild sub either. Maybe some of you here can somewhat relate ? And if not, enjoy my mental spiral lol

I’m just so tired of the narrative that an only child is the “lesser” option or the “last resort”. I’m an only child and have heard this my ENTIRE LIFE. People feeling sorry for me “being alone” or sorry for me “missing out” and hearing people come up to my mom and tell her things like I needed a sibling and how dare her for “only having one child” as if I wasn’t enough. As if I didn’t matter as much if I wasn’t some package deal with another kid. As if my value was less and “just me” wasn’t okay. Well newflash to all those people, my parents never ever made me feel like I wasn’t enough or like my mere existence wasn’t as valuable. I loved being an only child and still do as an adult. And now as a OAD parent the comments still suck. The stigma still sucks. The comments, questions, etc about the “guilt” for not “giving my child a sibling”. Like no, I DON’T feel guilt. I DON’T see having an only child as some “lesser than” choice. I don’t see my ONLY child as a last resort. I don’t feel bad about making my child the center of my life and giving him 100% of me. Why is my only child only acceptable if I’m not able to have more? Like I’m just “settling” with having one because I don’t have the choice to have another? No. It has been a choice and it’s been a damn good choice.

Only children aren’t lacking. Only children aren’t less than. Only children aren’t socially awkward or weird or any less capable or less amazing than any other child that has siblings. I’m just so tired of all the negative stigma and pity.

Okay. Rant over.

I know I'm not a mother yet but still wanted to share some positivity. I'm taking care of my 4 month old nephew because my sister is pregnant again and she needs the emotional and physical support. I'm blessed to be a housewife so I don't have to work and can help her out. It's very easy and fully cemented my decision to be one and done (I was already planning on being one and done before this but this experience helped out a lot) he sleeps almost all the way through the night (maybe wakes up only once) and sleeps for stretches of time during the day, so I have more than enough time to do my hobbies. When I'm burping him or just caring for him we sing songs together and he loves 'Daisy Daisy'. My sister and I also play Uno together and I hold him or she holds him. During tummy time, I read him nice stories and sing for him as well.

Honestly, I feel like this would have been way worse with a toddler. The toddler would likely have been waking him up. Of course I'm not disparaging two+ kid households but it's not for me personally.
Now, I know a lot of people will tell me I might change my mind after I have my own child, and that might be true, but for now, my OAD future looks bright <3

(satirical title about the slang/show, but this is a realistic&positive post) Hello all!! I randomly opened a book about parenting that I hadn’t looked at for a while, and I stumbled upon this really long hand written list with exactly 13 reasons why I am OAD!

If you care to read on, I am posting the entire unedited transcription for better or worse! The beginning is funny because my friend’s pregnancy clearly sparked my list, but I don’t even remember who I was talking about because so many of my friends are on their third and fourth pregnancy.

“January 2026. I’ve become one of those people, for various reasons I will parce through, that is solidifying the choice to be one and done, in the light of someone I thought was OAD that is now become pregnant. the list in no particular order —here’s a first draft.

#1 he genuinely says “no,” no brother, no sister, no baby. He is naturally a low sleep needs person and after 3 1/2 years I’m finally getting used to it. (Having a newborn who may be a low sleep needs or otherwise will be hard)

#2 I feel at capacity and “complete.” There’s a nice balance.

#3 the footprint of replacing my one body in an overpopulated world. This is common nowadays to have one child.

#4 Hyperemesis Gravidarum did a number to my teeth, my sanity, my time… as I need to get infusions that the cancer treatment center (where people get chemo!) 2 to 3 times a week my entire pregnancy. I have PTSD from the vomiting. having one child leaves me more space to write and work through things and research about HG and come to terms with my reality.

#5 Labor and delivery were not bad, but it’s true. I like to be healthy. My iron levels were so low after pregnancy, and during breastfeeding but I didn’t catch it for years. I just thought i was supposed to feel like that as a new mom and then toddler mom. my impact from HG was so severe. lots of muscle loss after all that vomiting and bed rest, and second degree internal tear has lasting effects; need pelvic floor work.

#6 I want to finish my education

#7 I am losing my baby fever at nearly 35 and focusing on the next years of perimenopause

#8 I feel bitter people I shared OAD with move on to more children, when they said they were OAD and we shared camaraderie. It feels like betrayal, imagined or not… rejection dysphoria maybe.

#9 my sister-in-law is supportive. They think my son is cool and they love him. He has cousins to visit.

#10 medically and financially expensive to prepare for a baby, especially hospital birth. I am RH negative, would be now geriatric, I already had a high risk NIPT test for trisomy 21, and I suffered a subchorionic hematoma as well as the HG the entire pregnancy… don’t want a repeat. I also have PMDD and HG, both things I would inevitably pass onto a female child if later in life she chose to give birth. My mother and grandmother suffered with HG before it was considered treatable… &PMDD I’m sure just could happen because it’s related to how your brain responds to a period. I would feel bad.

#11 I liked nannying only children. Especially wild boys. I was meant to have a boy.

#12 I wanna be the kind of mom that can afford anything for my child… as in taking my son‘s friend on cool vacations with us so he has someone to make memories with, or even being able to let him express themselves fashion wise when he is a little older… in high school for instance. Just making sure he is always comfortable with food as well, as I did not grow up with constant food security.

#13 I like that I’m not outnumbered, as I do have a small village.”

A lot of this is still spot on, only 6 months later. Our lives are have become really busy, I don’t even remember getting this down on paper- but I have always been a reader and a writer. The OAD reddits have brought me so much validation and peace… not that anyone needs that… but I don’t have that in my day to day life except from my partner and son- those who matter when it comes to MY choice.

TLDR, randomly found a handwritten list of my reasons why I am OAD and wanted to share it with you guys.