r/lithromantic

Just wanna know how people differentiate these? Im not sure if i am, but i have issues when guys reciprocate their feelings toward me i usually feel trapped, overwhelmed and my brain is constantly finding things wrong with the person causing me to lose interest. As soon as I cut ties with them tho, I want them back desperately.

I cant tell which one I am, but I really dont want to be lithromantic because I want to be able to enjoy romance :(

Im wondering this because whenever I have a crush, I like them a LOT, like i think abt them a lot, and whatnot... but when that crush likes me back I instantly lose feelings. I'm not sure if it's because I just dont like them anymore, or if it has to do with being uncomfortable at the idea of pursuing a relationship, orrr being afraid of commitment and stuff like that idk. Like, everytime I see a couple I get a little jealous bcuz I want to be able to be in a relationship, but I always lose interest, and I wish I didn't.

I really need help understanding what's wrong with me, ive done a bunch of research why im like this and so far lithromanticism is the only label i can sorta relate to, I fantasize a lot about sex, cuddling kissing and even pet names with future partners. Gosh i even wack off to videos without feeling gross after...., ive had partners in the past but i always fell out of love with them in about a week infact I would feel disgusted whenever id see there messages pop up, I thought i was just a huge dick.. but recently I got a new partner, ive been dating him for about 2 months now and I rlly do like him. But I noticed whenever he'd get sexual bring up cuddling, kissing and call me pet names. id feel just gross, I cant even bring myself to say I love you without cringing. Ik it isnt him because I still feel happy when I have a normal conversation with him without all the cuddling and kissing topic coming up. Its honestly hard to explain when even I dont know what's wrong with me. I just want an answer from a real person not some tiktok or Google. My friends cant help me cause even they dont understand. Ps sorry if I sound stupid In this, this is my first time posting on reddit so idk how all of this really works.

Back then, I fell in love with someone and I really enjoyed their presence and I loved being around them. I started becoming attatched when we were there for each other but I kept hesitating to confess even though we clearly felt something for each other. I was too scared for them to openly reciprocate it back because that would make my feelings for them go away and I wanted it to last longer. Any help? Has anyone else struggled with this?

I think I’ve finally figured out the labels that fit me the best and the kind of relationship that would actually work for me. It’s exciting, but depressing. I’m lithromantic (heavy), aegosexual/demisexual mix (it’s complicated), and pansexual-heteroromantic.
Ideally, I’d be in a long distance, queer-platonic or committed friendship where physical intimacy and romantic partnership is only a possible eventual thing but not expected. We would meet in person only a few times a year (at most), preferably never. We can text, call, play games, parallel play on call, maybe vent. We each have our own life, value solo time and independence, are not clingy. Calls are usually low energy, where we don’t have to talk deeply, just there doing our own thing. We don’t have to move fast into official labels or expectations.

I just want another person in my corner. “barely give me the time of day and I will love you forever” kind of vibe.

The depressing part is that I am never going to find this. I’m sure it exists but it’s probably something that happens spontaneously from being in bigger communities (which I am not). I’m a big homebody and introverted with mild social anxiety, and discord servers are intimidating and confusing. I’m giving up before I even try.