u/TrainingCup5470

Hi everyone! I’m currently exploring my identity as an aroace person, and I’ve been learning more about being oriented aroace and tertiary attractions. I’ve come across a lot of helpful information, but I’d really love to hear from other people who might have similar experiences, especially when it comes to LITH-type attractions.

A few things I’ve been wondering about:

• LITH and tertiary attraction: From what I understand, “lith” refers to an attraction that becomes weaker or disappears when the attraction is reciprocated. Can this happen with tertiary attractions too, such as aesthetic, alterous, platonic, or sensual attraction? If so, do people use specific labels like lith-aesthetic or lith-alterous, or do you usually just describe the experience without using a micro-label?
• How intense tertiary attraction can be: I’ve realized that tertiary attraction seems to exist on a pretty broad spectrum. How do you personally describe the intensity or nature of your tertiary attractions? And when you identify as oriented aroace, does that mean these attractions are especially strong or important to you, or can they be relatively subtle while still being meaningful to your identity?
• Can tertiary attraction be fluid? I’m also wondering whether tertiary attractions can be fluid or change over time. For example, can someone experience several different types of tertiary attraction at once, or experience one type of attraction toward multiple people? Can the number, combination, or intensity of attractions vary depending on the person? I’d be interested in hearing how others experience this, since I imagine there probably isn’t one fixed pattern that applies to everyone.
• Figuring out how to explain it: I’m also wondering how other people navigate all these nuances when explaining their identity. Do you use the term “oriented aroace” on its own, or do you usually add more specific labels/descriptions? And has figuring out the distinction between different types of attraction helped you understand yourself better?

I’d especially love to hear from people who experience LITH attraction themselves, but I’m also interested in any personal experiences, advice, terminology, or resources that helped you make sense of your tertiary attractions.

Thanks! I’d really appreciate hearing your perspectives. 💜