Hello!!! I got a story idea recently and decided I wanted to make the main character aplatonic, my only issue is, I dont know what its like to be aplatonic since I'm not aplatonic and I'm not sure how to exactly write it. If anyone can give me advice on how to write a good aplatonic character, that would be nice, I dont wanna write this part of them poorly
Okay so I was sharing with someone I still consider somewhat a friend of an interest of mine, and they got interested in it as well. Still, now they are talking about it too much and asking for too much, and that's something I hate. I forget that can happen when sharing, and since I don't want to end up hating what I like, I just ignore them from now on. Someone else has the problem of oversharing lol?
How do you think aplatonicism could be represented? How do you think it could be written without just straight up saying the characters are aplatonic? How it could be show or hinted at?
Specifically fully aplaro characters, ones who will NOT get any friends nor partners in the story.
Both asocial and social ideas are welcome, one character is a loner and another one is a party animal who likes hanging out with others but doesn't want to get too close to them.
*On not straight up saying the characters are aplatonic: "Show don't tell" but also because the word aplatonic doesn't exist in this world, not even internet exists.
（I used AI to help with the translation, and sorry for any language mistakes.）
I already identify as aro and I'm also on the ace-spec. I have no desire for romantic relationships. And now I am confused about the concept of aplatonic.
I have friends, but I can’t understand what platonic attraction is. I do feel drawn to someone based on their certain personality traits, actions, or simple aesthetic attraction. That interest makes me want to interact with them more, which increases the chance of friendship developing. But it doesn't feel like a desire to form relationships with them.
To me, friendship is something that happens naturally through shared time, mutual understanding, and common memories. I don't experience a specific kind of attraction that makes me want to be friends with someone. I have a few people I consider close friends. Their importance comes from trust, shared interests, and what we've been through together. But if you asked me what traits in them attracted me to friendship, I'd struggle to answer. When friends leave or move away, I don't feel sad or miss them intensely. I used to describe it as "having no real sense of separation." I do miss the times we had together, but if the relationship itself isn't broken, separation doesn't seem to trigger negative emotions.
That said, friends are still very important to me. I have a high need for social connection. I have a strong need for deep bonds with others, and I can't stand the loneliness of feeling misunderstood or unrecognized. I've also been in one intimate relationship. In that relationship, I did experience separation anxiety and longing – feelings I don't have with other friends. It felt somewhat like sensual attraction, based on a deep emotional attachment.
I feel a bit contradictory and really confused.
I think if I was aplatonic, that would actually be something I'd have to process. I didn't need to process that I'm aroallo, I always knew and always felt it. I didn't need to process being alterhuman, same thing, I just found a label for my feelings. I didn't need to process being afamilial. But I think I would need to process being aplatonic. It makes me feel really bad just thinking I might be..
I like having friends, I enjoy their presence, I like being able to talk to them and pass time with them and laugh together... at first. I get a really big bond with them, and then suddenly that bond starts to fade. And I feel really bad about it because we were so close together, and then nope I don't feel it anymore your presence feels forced now. The more time I spend with someone, the faster it starts fading.
I feel horrible, that would make me a horrible friend. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm a good friend while I still feel that bond, but once it fades, am I still a good friend? If they don't feel like a friend to me anymore? If I feels kind of forced to hang out with them? How good am I then? I'm basically abandoning them after all the memories we made together, after we told each other our deepest secrets and feelings.
And I still want friends afterwards, but new friends, ones I don't have a big bond with yet, but I know it'll fade again once we spend a little too much time together.
Am I really frayplatonic? Where should I start if I need to accept that? Should I just not make friends, since I know it'll fade and I'll want to leave? I'm okay being alone it doesn't bother me much, but I do like having friends...