r/okbuddychicanery

Prepare your neurons and drop whatever you’re doing, because it’s showtime, folks.

As we all know, Hank is the most sophisticated character in the show. He’s bald like Walter, clean-cut like Gus, comes from law enforcement like Ehrmantraut, and still has that inner punk energy like Pinkman. On one hand, he sits in his garage brewing beer to satisfy his American side while also honoring his German roots. I could honestly talk about this for hours, but that’s a discussion for another time. This man is unbelievably stubborn. Vince probably had to bring Saul Goodman into the writers room just to negotiate with him.

But once you understand what Hank actually wants, the whole show changes.

We know Hank is obsessed with minerals. Why? Because minerals are stable. Predictable. Certain. Hank hates uncertainty. He loves investigating crimes, but at the same time he does NOT want to get off his ass unless he absolutely has to. After the incident at the Mexican border, his brain completely radicalizes.

Now pay attention carefully here, because this is where casual viewers get filtered out instantly.

Minerals and meth look almost identical. The only real difference is that if you sniff a mineral, you sneeze instead of ruining lives across ABQ. Deep down, Hank is fascinated by the Blue Sky. He envies Walter in a way he probably doesn’t even understand himself. Every time Walt rises higher in the meth empire, Hank retreats further into his mineral collection trying to chase that same feeling, but it never truly satisfies him.

And suddenly the parallels start appearing everywhere.

Why does Walt lose his mind when Jesse contaminates a cook?

Why does Hank lose his mind when Marie mishandles the mineral boxes?

Because to Hank, minerals ARE his meth.

Your neurons should be warming up by now.

But we still haven’t reached the truly unethical part.

When Walter tells Skyler about the meth business, Skyler unwillingly becomes part of the operation. She complains about it constantly, but deep down she enjoys the power that comes with it.

Marie, however, is a complete disappointment in Hank’s eyes. She keeps calling minerals “rocks,” reducing Hank’s entire intellectual empire into caveman terminology. Completely unforgivable behavior.

So Hank makes a decision.

“If Marie refuses to join the mineral business... then Marie will BECOME the mineral business.”

Now think carefully. Marie wears purple through almost the entire show with barely any exceptions.

And what is purple?

Not Wendy’s lipstick, you idiots.

Amethyst.

Hank basically turns Marie into a human amethyst crystal and keeps her under his supervision at all times as punishment for disrespecting minerals.

Bravo Schrader.

We never get to see their relationship outside of meth

e.g. no scenes of them going bowling, grabbing a hot dog at the baseball game, or even going shopping together