r/r4rindonesia

​Hey everyone,

​I (22M) need some help interpreting a situation with a girl from Indonesia. We’ve been talking closely for about a month now, and it’s definitely evolved past just a "casual friendship" vibe.

​Lately, she has been saying things like: "I think I'm more connected to you, I like your way of thinking, speaking, etc."

​Then, she recently sent me this message:

"I apologize for my behavior. I'm sorry I only just replied. I feel like I don't want to bother you too much, I'm afraid you'll be disgusted or uncomfortable 🙏 I like you because of the communication from here, that's why I'm interested... I also think you're the focused type, I'm afraid of disturbing your focused and busy time 🙏"

​Since I really value her, I replied back with this exact message to reassure her:

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, and you could never disgust me or make me uncomfortable, your honesty is incredibly rare, and I value it deeply. Don't ever feel like you are bothering or disturbing me. Honestly, your hard work and dedication are things I highly admire. Seeing the effort you put in motivates me to push just as hard on my own grind. truly, for me you are a motivating and supportive energy, not a disturbance at all, don't overthink or stress your mind about it."

​Here is where the confusion and anxiety are kicking in:

After I sent that long, supportive reply, she left it on "seen" for about 8 hours. I was honestly watching my notifications waiting for a reply, but nothing came. Then, as soon as I became active on Instagram, she just "liked" my last message without typing anything else.

​I’m really struggling to read this. I’ve heard Indonesian people are naturally very polite, warm, and friendly, so I don't know if this is just her being nice, or if she’s actually interested but just completely froze or started overthinking after my intense reply. The 8-hour silence followed by just a "like" once I came online feels confusing.

​Is this level of appreciation and the sudden pullback normal for a close friend in her culture, or am I over analyzing a sign of romantic interest? How should I take this?

I have little human interaction these past 3 weeks since I'm stuck at the hospital. I'm not gonna share the details here but I'm not the patient.

I think.........

I'm about to lose my mother

Btw, I'm Chindo Katholik. Looking for someone who can talk to me over the phone that's available 24 hours. Saya tidak butuh orang2 yg cuma mau Kepo aja tapi orang yg memang Care. I'm at the lowest point of my life right now. My eyes feels dry cause I cry everyday. Jadi bagi Anda yg niatnya cari jodoh, minggir dulu. I wanna talk with a guy Older than me (age range: 26 to 35) and Single cause I hate to be discreet.

It's very last minute indeed but anyone up for 60 mins ish brunch at 10.30 AM today (7/6) @ Yorihada Kitchen Kuningan City Mall? I'm F27, local, speak EN, ID, & very little (as in A1-ish and probably shouldn't write it down here) DE, and idk what else to put here so I guess you can ask for one more random info about me in DM if you're interested.

Barring very niche interests, I think I can at least try to keep up with lots of topics with lots of people with various backgrounds. But just in case,

safe topics: sell me a book, fiction or nonfiction it doesn't matter as long as it's not a motivational/self-help book; personal/family lore (I have a lot!); games like 2 truths 1 lie or similar

⚠️:

- not looking for anything, just felt like getting brunch with new/different people (literally we don't even have to exchange our real/gov names)

- just be a decent human, don't be creepy (in turn, I won't be creepy too)

- if you can't be comfortable with a few seconds/mins of silence (while eating at that), don't

- no socmed exchanges (email's fine)

- nobody under 21, just to be safe

Don't reply, but DM me with your basic info + why you're interested if you are (I could probably do a few next Sundays too, so feel free to send me a message even if you can't today).

Hi all,

I’m thinking of trying something new for r/r4rindonesia: regular hobby-based or interest-based meetups where people can join based on shared activities.

The idea is to make it easier for people here to meet others in a more natural, low-pressure way through common interests.

If this sounds interesting to you and you would like to lead meetups for a specific interest in r/r4rindonesia, please reply in the comments below!

Since these are expected to be recurring events, we’re looking for people who are genuinely passionate about their chosen hobby or interest (so this doesn't feel like a chore).

For example, if your hobby is movies, we’d expect you to post about meetups for major movie releases, or at least on a regular basis. And since this is on Reddit, I think it’ll probably be a small group. We could also set a limit, for example, gatherings of up to 8 people.

---
Please use the format like this in the comment if you're applying to lead:

[Age & Gender] - [Hobby/Interest] - [Location]
[Then explain why you are the one to lead such hobby meetups]

Example comment:

24M - Movies - Jaksel
Heyy! I’d like to lead movie meetups in Jaksel because I’m a big movie fan. I already go to the cinema every week by myself, so I thought it would be more fun to host Nobar for everyone here too!

---
We’ll reach out to you later if we decide to proceed.
Feel free to send a message if you have any questions.
Please note that this is mainly for people who are genuinely passionate about their hobbies, since the goal is to make these meetups recurring.

We hope this can help create more low-pressure, stress-free ways for people in this sub to connect, beyond just blind dates.

Hiii all! Apa kabarnyaaa? Miss youu!! 💌

We’re backkk btw!!! And this time, we’re doing things a little differently.

Following Batch 1 (which went better than I expected 🥹), we’ve decided to turn this into an ongoing offline matchmaking program. So no more waiting for batches. Selama ada potential match, we’ll keep it going yayyy.

So here’s how it works now:

Just like before, all matches are fully handpicked yaa. But this time, we’re taking it a bit more seriously.

After you fill in the form, I’ll review and shortlist profiles every 1–2 weeks.
If I see a strong potential match, I’ll reach out and schedule a short online interview with you. Yes… interview 😆

But super chill kok amann yaa, it’s just to understand your vibe better, beyond what’s written on the form. Because from Batch 1, I learned that on paper cocok ≠ actually cocok in real life lol.

Once you’re matched:

You’ll be paired with one person and just like before:

• No chatting beforehand
• First conversation happens langsung at the venue
• One couple per table (no group setting)

We’ll coordinate everything for you, you just need to show up and be present.

A small note on commitment:

To keep this sustainable (and to make sure everyone is serious), there will be a IDR 100K fee once you are successfully matched.

There might also be a restaurant down payment, depending on the venue.

I know adding a fee changes things a bit 🥹 but it also allows me to filter more seriously, invest more time in curating matches, and avoid last-minute drop-offs (yes, learned this the hard way 🥲)

A few important things to keep in mind:

• This is for single participants only
• Currently heterosexual matching only
• Minimum age: 18+
• All matches are curated manually
• Any dishonesty or disrespectful behavior = immediate blacklist

We’ll assign curated spots around Jaksel (no random places), with a recommended budget of around IDR 150K per person.

We’re also being more selective this time, less crowded, more comfy buat ngobrol.

Sooo here’s the form:
https://forms.gle/x6MBr7Hn6QpYif6n8

Take your time filling it yaa, the more honest you are, the better I can match you.

I genuinely believe this can be something special. Not just dating, but a well-curated first meeting, where both people actually have a chance.

So… if you’re ready, go for it 💌

And if you have any questions or thoughts, feel free to drop them in the comments or DM me!!

Have a good day ahead ❤️

With love,
u/Right-War-8357

Hiii apa kabarnyaa guys? I wanna give a small update from meee 💌

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who has signed up so far!!!

As of today, we have 33 male applicants and 10 female applicants. So yes, the ratio is still pretty unbalanced hahaha. Personally, I'd love to see more women joining so I can create more potential matches. Feel free yaaa girliess 🥹

The exciting news, we already have our first matched pair, and they'll be meeting offline this week yayyy

With the new applicants coming in, I'll also be working on matching more couples over the next few weeks. As always, I'd rather take my time and match thoughtfully than rush things kan berbayar juga soalnyaaa

Thank you again for trusting me with this. More updates soon 😗

So yeah, I officially turned 27 about an hour and a half ago. I know it’s a weird and random opening, but here we are...

I got a wedding invitation from one of my high school friends on June 14 th in Bandung. I was born and raised here, although I don't actually live in Bandung full time because of work.

Before anything gets misunderstood, I’m not desperately looking for a girlfriend, wife, soulmate, or someone to name future children after. And honestly, I’m not in the ideal place to build a serious relationship right now.

What I’m looking for is someone fun to talk to, maybe grab some coffee first, attend the wedding together, and see if we get along.

So here's a little about, me, I can be quiet at first but open up once comfortable, enjoy awkward jokes random conversation , can be sarcastic but harmless, lol

If we become friends, great. If something more happens naturally, cool. If not, that’s totally fine too.

I’m looking for someone around my age (24–30-ish).

If you’re available on June 14 th in Bandung and this sounds interesting, feel free to send me a message.

Worst case, we gain a new friend. Best case, we get a funny story to tell someday.

Lol.

Hello all!!!

To help optimize our matching pool, please let me know if your match has not replied at all within 1 week after you reach out.

After I receive your report, I’ll reach out to them as well to check whether they are still active on Reddit.

We will exclude inactive users from the matching pool.