r/suicideprevention

Hi Reddit, I’m in AA for the first time and I’m struggling with thoughts all the time.

I’m originally from Pennsylvania and I went to rehab for oxy dxm and alcohol. Upon my detox and rehab I made a decision to move to Florida and do an IOP program because my sister set it up for me and I thought it was the right choice for my safety.

In rehab I made the abrupt decision to move a day after I got out as I thought it was serious.

Mind you I just got out a serious relationship and had nothing left going for me in PA besides a job at a restaurant and going to the gym all the time.
Upon getting to Florida I thought I’d enjoy the new scenery and would be able to do the work to get sober.

After 7 weeks and one lapse I got a job at an electrical company which is quite strenuous labor to start. Digging trenches for 8 hours a day.
I’m trying to understand how I’m supposed to manage working, AA, the gym and maintaining proper nutrition while doing all this.

Along side all this my ex reached back out not knowing I was in Florida saying she missed me and loved me and part of me wants to go back for that and the life that I had

A part of me just wants to go back to PA cause it was a nice quiet little life and I was okay with it.
I feel I’m taking on responsibilities too fast and that I’m not ready for all of this. I’m feeling very overwhelmed causing me to want to relapse. I will not go back to another detox or rehab.

I believe I made a decision too quickly to move and now I’m regretting coming here. I feel if I go back I’ll be letting my sister down as she has invested a lot in getting me here and I’d hate to throw it all away.

I’m not sure what to do, I miss my small little life and not having all this weight on my shoulders. I believe I have some more severe mental illness but she tells me it’s just the alcoholism. I believe I’m truly bipolar and depressed.

I don’t know what to do somebody please help me.

I know it is not normal to constantly have thoughts of suicide even when facing no particular difficulties, but sadly it got me. How can I prevent something that is attacking me without me even realizing it ? I have it for years now and it keeps piling up, what can I do to stop it ?

Where do you go when you’re boxed in? Below is the ground. Around you are walls filled with pressures to succeed, actually fit into what is considered acceptable, be the most positive person in the room, and not run from my problems, all at the same time. The roof is open but i can‘t jump because i’m paralyzed. I didn‘t have everything, but I had a lot. I could take a walk and chase my dogs in my backyards, I could take jogs around my neighborhood, I could play all the sports I love, I could go into the room without being the main point of attention, I could stand at 6’2 and have respect. I could go 3 days without incurring a smell of piss from pissing myself.

What I didn’t have: A girlfriend, The best parents, The best grades, A Porn addiction free life. That’s it. I didn’t have those things and it ate me up. So on May 16th, 2025, at the ripe age of 16 years old 10 months and 1 day, I went into the woods with my dads .22 and the wrong ammo and continued to attempt to blow my brains away. ON THE EDGE OF A 22 FOOT BRIDGE. It didn’t fire properly and i left with a small hole in the roof in my mouth and i swallowed the bullet. If i did this in my backyard, I would’ve been knocked unconscious and fell down onto the ground. 1 month and I would have been fine. Unfortunately, I couldn’t swallow a 22 foot fall onto rocks.

Fast forward to 13 1/2 months later and I’m entering the second year of being fucked completely below the waist for the rest of my days. The real kicker: I still have all of those problems; I still don’t have a girlfriend and have an even lower chance of getting one. I still have a porn addiction, even though I haven’t even had an erection since my attempt. My grades were better my senior year but when you have nobody and nothing else to do, you tend to refocus your priorities. Parent situation may be even worse as my dad treats me like a house dog and wont let me live. I don’t attempt suicide anymore but that’s just due to me being numbed to it all. Suicide is always on my mind yet never on my mind really. If you know the charges that come with being a complete paraplegic, you know the rest. If I dropped dead tomorrow, I wouldn’t give a care in the world. Maybe the people around me, but for me, sweet release. I would die for something, but I often feel like I live for nothing.

The phrases Paraplegia, T-12, Complete Injury were thoughts my mind would have not conjured up prior to my attempt and likely would never have, had i not attempted. I challenge anybody who sees this to cherish what you do have and recognize what you don’t and achieve it because here’s a cliche saying tha is reallll true: you can’t really appreciate what you have until you lose it. I didn’t have much of a roof 14 months ago, but I sure do now.

I am Honestly tired of life, if i wouldn't go to hell for committing suicide, i would have just ended it all last night. what kind of life is this?
no job, no money, no accomodation, feeding is a problem
nothing is working, prayed, cried, begged
done all i could do
still back at square one, lost weight, look sick, can't even go to the hospital for check up.

when will this all end, i am tired. i just want to disappear and be done

Hey, my daughter has been doing scratch for a year now and has been loving it. She is doing great work and is following some talented people. Unfortunately, one person that she is following expresses self harming thoughts. The community and my daughter are rallying with positive comments to this person. My daughter just showed me a recent project that really concerns her; just music, no visual and the comment the user left just thanked all their followers. It seemed like a farewell.

I am supporting and talking my daughter through this. I have had too many friends loose their life to depression. But how do I report the user? How do we alert the appropriate people to get them the help they need? Thanks.

My friend wants to kill herself and I don’t know what to do her life sucks with no supporting parent (drug addicts) she takes care of her 3 little siblings and her mom and dad are actively working against her goal of going to college and she just broke up with her boyfriend witch I think sent her over the edge I try to talk with her and tell her that she shouldn’t but as much as we are close friends I don’t think I’m close enough to stop her i tell her that there are people who love her and don’t want her to die and we joke that she’s a bitch if she dose witch has I think help keep her from doing it for a while(she hates people think she’s weak) but as much as I tell her i don’t think she cares and just wants the pain to end she won’t talk to Therpist’s or anybody really outside of me and her brother is there anything that I could do.

I will make one thing clear before I go on about this one; I'm still going to end my life for the same reasons I already mentioned. All I'm doing is addressing those that believe I "deserve love and appreciation" when I can absolutely prove that's not the case.

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"You should seek professional help, a friend or a family member. Call 988, and they will help you."

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First off, I currently do not have any connections to friends, and that if I did would only make things worse. As for family, I know that parents wouldn't fully understand what their child is going through, and would only make things worse. It would make them worry, and I'll end up being seen as incapable of living a normal life. As for therapy, either it would alert the parents, throw me into a mental hospital without care or both. Lastly, 988 is just 911 in disguise, and you could be charged with a crime for saying the "wrong things" which is why I don't trust it.

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"You must have some kind of hobby/community that you enjoy!"

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I used to be part of a community, but it would usually end up being controversial and full of hate and drama, or I'd be the reason why no one likes it. When I was in the 40k hobby, all I did was complain and everyone wanted me dead. If I were to join any other community, it would end up getting hated on for just me being there because of this.

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- Porn Addiction in General

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From what I could find, there isn't exactly a solid solution for getting rid of porn addiction, and any that claim to have one is under a subscription price tag, which is obviously a scam. One person stated that people with porn addiction can get a relationship. Although this is true, they are also more likely to cheat than a normal person, and I shouldn't really have to explain why. Even if I disregarded all that, I look like a homeless perverted hermit with childish ambitions, which no one likes at all.

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Extra Note: Society as a Whole

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I always try to avoid a political reason, but I'll at least address it once; I don't think there's any hope for me and my generation in the long term. More and more stuff was added and removed to make it harder for me to live a normal life. Add that with hatred towards others and violence for some "agenda" had only made it worse.

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Willing to listen to anyone that disagrees, but please bring actual proof instead of the fake stuff. Death date stays on July 5th by a bridge.