8/19/26 Dr. Heidi Overton will be our next FDA Commissioner. She will infuse the agency with all things MAHA and MAGA, the MOST TRANSFORMATIVE Health Agenda in History. (12pm)
8/18/26 Everything is going great in Iran! We are continuing our Naval Blockade, therefore The Hormuz Strait is open and operating! [I know that doesn't make any sense, just shut up] (9:30am)
8/18/26 Ibogaine is a psychoactive indole alkaloid derived from plants such as Tabernanthe iboga, characterized by hallucinogenic and oneirogenic effects! Joe Rogan and Secretary Kennedy love it for our VETERANS! (1pm)
8/17/26 The Founding Fathers said the States should decide how they want to do elections. They were idiots! Even Indians know that one powerful person should decide how all elections in the country should be run! (7pm)
8/17/26 Watch me bully a dumb chick reporter! It is so cool how I can be a total dick, and no one can do anything about it! It is what I love this job!!! (2:15pm)
08/16/26 - We're going to "substantially reduce" joint military exercises with South Korea because Kim Jong Un is my bro, and also because South Korea wouldn't help us in Iran. 🤡