10/06/26 - Donny is in a particular mood today it seems: First calling El-Sayed a "jihadist" and now claiming the school protests across France are because of "Islam wanting to take over."
09/30/26 - I thought this was potentially the longest single post he's ever made, but whichever aide actually typed this (It's about South Korean investment) actually just copy-and-pasted the whole thing twice.
09/29/26 - Stop trying to make "fetch" happen! - (Executive order on renaming Artificial Intelligence, which is an abstract concept, not a lake or a building, and does not belong exclusively to the U.S. government.)
09/29/26 - Me and the AI bros us just signed this non-binding, unenforceable, voluntary, single page document full of vague corporate tech jargon and look how much bigger my signature is than theirs!
09/28/26 - "The United States has the BEST Employment Numbers in HISTORY." FoxNews. The Fake News Media REFUSES to report this rather significant development, however!!!" - (That's the whole tweet.)
09/21/26 - As expected, the media outlets I illegally banned from the White House are suing me. They got a great judge for their case who was sadly appointed by some loser named "TRUMP."
09/21/26 - We're going to buy potash from authoritarian Belarus and ship it halfway around the world, and it's somehow going to be cheaper than getting it from the polite democracy next-door.
09/11/26 - Remember when we invaded Venezuela and stole their president and then I stole their oil? That was pretty cool... Natalie, make me a video about it.