I am running out of money
I haven't made any calculations, but I’ve been watching my savings quickly dwindle since I was laid off 5 months ago. I’ve since become desperate for ways to save money. To this point my greatest success for saving money has been living a placebo life. Instead of buying more of the pills I take daily, I keep my old pill bottles and put skittles inside. Each morning I look sunwards and swallow 2 skittles whole as I manifest in my being a deep taken for granted trust that I’m taking care of my body. At night, no matter how cold and windy it gets, I remind myself I was right to sell all my jackets, since long sleeve shirts keep me warm just fine. The pillow I sleep on no longer has any feathers inside, but I trust this way it’s better for my neck.
With living a placebo life, I’ve found its all about manifesting an internal mundane trust in the world. I trust the systems which make up our society have been born out of a historical bounty of benevolent wisdom and not from the historical affluent reinforcing existing power structures to ensure the continued maintenance and multiplication of their wealth. I trust our politicians operate out of a love for their fellow man, and do not propaganda a reality that aligns with their self-interest. I trust that progress is inevitable, always good, and is sufficiently measured by GDP going up. I trust the new AI datacenter in my neighborhood is good for my local community, my country, and humanity at large. All of this trusting I do soothes me. Sometimes I even lie in bed at night and indulge myself with thinking that life is pretty sweet just as it is.
Though at other times I lie in bed thinking about quantum entanglement. I imagine I’m a quantum system entangled with some other quantum system-being-thing elsewhere in the universe, and they’re over there having some good stuff for real and I’m over here reaping the real deal benefits at the exact same time without even being aware of it.
Though ultimately it hasn’t seemed to matter what I trust or think to myself, at the end of the day I simply keep on losing money.