u/0Ludger0

im 15 and I am prepping to leave my abusive household i live in( that my guardian as I call her) owns. Right now im just collecting any last tid bits of evedince, and throwing away stuff I don't need since I know I'll get out of here when I report it with some help i have.

it's just, I'm laying on the mattress i have in the basment since thats where I had to sleep for the whole of this year (Or else my emotional abuser would use anything i said in the old room I had next to hers as ammunition to attack me.)

So i sleep downstairs. And a roach falls from goodness knows where, I just feel tired and scared.

Ill keep focusing on my passions in the meantime. Taking this to reddit makes me feel like im saying too much. All is good for now gonna go fix that problem with the ceiling.

just felt tired is all.

I've been eating alot of plain popped corn and all ive used is vegatable oil to make it less dry. Though I wish they had something like natural peanutbutter popcorn oil where you just spray it on there.

Today with my voice recording on, (I have it on 24/7 incase am in danger) so if my emotional abuser comes near me I can log a new report in my phone and book.

Today I overheard her saying she'll, "Stop doing (something) before I beat your ass." To my autistic sister.

So on voice recording I confronted her calmly saying, " Can you not used that language, its a bit disturbing.

Then yelled about how she isnt a white soft mother. Like yo- 😭😭 (FYI thats something so wrong with the black community (part of it of course) threatening to beat a child like a slave owner. Kinda ironic in my opinion.)

Dont worry im safe and so is my sister. Im in highschool so im just trying to pull through this last month before I try to start making my evedince apparent to trust worthy people.

So i have a neighbor whose really cool, though i never talked to him since I live with a emotional abuser as a 15 year old. Any trust worthy adult I can talk to she twists it in a grim way to use as ammunition agaisnt me.

Though since im gonna report my abuse by the start of June. I didnt want to leave this place without introducing myself to my neighbor. He's a cool guy that helps the kids in the neighborhood. Has a nice motorcycle and cat.

So I wrote him a letter saying who I was, and mundane things like movies, books, or music that I liked and how i wanted to be a Writer.

On my late night walk i setted the message near his car in a rubber envelope thingy with a rock.

I'm a bit embarrassed about talking to someone so normally like that. At the same time im happy to had done it. ((Essentially my anxeity is telling me otherwise and need a third Pov on this.))

As I live theses last 1-2 months with my guardian as a 15 year old before I finally come forth with my situation.

I just find some irony in what just happened. I went to the kitchen and she cursed at me for not doing the dishes. I said I only did mine because she told me to do mine. And now she's pushing the expectation even more to shift all the blame onto me.

In the form of claiming I should do everyone's mess they make regardless if it was me.💀💀

Not going to overanaylze it, because its just stupid. Sometimes I wonder how I can set boundaries in a peculiar way, its hard since as you know with emotional abusers boundaries don't exist just stupidity.