u/15dazaicide

I ripped my stitches out yesterday and it reopened to fascia. On monday, I need to go back to the hospital to see how the stitches are healing 🙂 My mother will force me to go. She doesn't know my stitches are out. I'd very much like to heal this at home because otherwise I'll just get stitches, rip them again, go back to the hospital, get stitches, rip them, repeat. I don't want to be reopening a cut infinite amounts of times, the chance of an infection skyrockets. I need to ensure that my doctor won't force me to get stitches. The wound is about 10cm long, around 3-5cm wide, depends a lot. The shape is irregular. I don't have access to aftercare but I need to make it work. How do I avoid stitches?? They won't help me atp

I wasn't home for 3 days. I just came back and literally everything has been removed from my room. Books, blades, pens, scissors, anything sharp, jars, AFTERCARE. Yeah, cuz as if I won't cut myself if I don't have access to aftercare?? I have 1 blade left. I'll just keep cutting with it and won't do any aftercare cuz I have none and I'm broke.

I'm sure that cutting with sterile blades and then doing aftercare is much better than cutting with the same dirty blade and not doing any aftercare.

I just had a fight with my mother and grandfather about this. I was so pissed. I have 0 privacy and all my belongings were taken from me. It ended up with me getting restrained and a doctor coming over. They thought I was psychotic. No, I'm just irritated. Why wouldn't I be???? Like, they're not doing me any good. I've been going out of my way to be safe while cutting, I no longer will be.

My mother never talks about my sh or anything. She doesn't gaf but then she takes all my belongings and acts like I'll be chill about it. She only does that because she doesn't want CPS to see it when they come over. The one thing no one should do is take aftercare products. What pisses me off is that she won't even talk abt it and will pretend it never happened. Fucking hell. If you won't do anything to help your child then at least don't do anything at ALL. All she's doing is making it more UNSAFE for me

It can be that. Typically, self-harm is indeed a form of self-punishment, a way to have a feeling of control, a way to emotionally regulate yourself, etc. I don't relate to any of that. I've been cutting myself since i was 6 years old and I can't name a single time where I felt regulated or grounded by it. I never felt any relief. I never felt in control or emotionally regulated. I never felt like I was punishing myself. I don't think this is even a way that I cope? It offers me nothing. It's just an activity that doesn't take much effort and it is something I can do quickly if I'm bored. That's why I cut myself. I don't feel ashamed and would heavily enjoy cutting with others. I am not trying to romanticise this but I have wanted to be cut together with someone basically since I started this. It feels just like a normal activity to me. I don't know why. The only difference is that a part of my body will hurt significantly more than it did before my session. I can tolerate pain a lot and don't mind it unless it affects my mobility or cognition. Pain is purely physical to me, therefore irrelevant unless it causes the things I stated earlier. I know this isn't typical but has anyone experienced this as well?

(very poorly written, excuse me. I am too tired)