Advice on how to balance expectations from parents
Problem/Goal: Di ko alam ano uunahin ko huhu (pls be kind)
Context: I (23M, panganay) feel pressured and confused about what to prioritize right now.
Recently, I was in the car with my parents (47M/48F) when my mom suddenly said, “alagaan mo ako pagtanda ah,” and my dad added, “ako rin.” For context, my mom has hypertension and my dad smokes and drinks, but neither of them has ever been hospitalized. I just replied, “hanapan ko na lang kayo ng caregiver,” and they didn’t object.
The thing is, I got confused because just last week they were also asking me when I’ll start postgraduate studies. I graduated last year and immediately started working, but they want me to pursue postgrad soon. I told them na mag-ipon muna ako ng at least 2 years, so my plan is to resume studying around 2027.
Now I’m worried because it feels like they already expect me to take care of them when they get older. What if something happens while I’m in the middle of postgraduate studies? I do have an emergency fund, and di rin naman nila ako nirerequire magbigay ng sustento since they can still provide for themselves, but the pressure from their comment really got to me.
Another thing I’m thinking about is finances. If I’m considering availing medical, health, or life insurance for them, how do I manage my money properly so I can balance that with saving for my own future and studies? I want to be prepared but I don’t know what the right approach is.
I'm also thinking about finances. I only earn 23-25K per month, and around 25% goes to savings/EF. If I’m considering availing medical, health, or life insurance for them, how do I manage my money properly so I can balance that with saving for my own future? I want to be prepared pero di ko lang talaga alam paano iapproach yung dilemma kong ito.
I’m not sure how to balance their expectations while also being financially literate. So I’d really appreciate advice on:
- balancing family expectations with personal goals
- setting boundaries kindly with parents
- (financially) prioritizing getting insurance for them now, or focusing first on building my own savings and preparing for postgrad
Any advice from people who have gone through something similar would be very helpful!
P.S. I'm not sure if it's the right flair lol