TIFU by running a race a little too fast and ruining my knee, my life, and my friendships
Obligatory did not happen today, but happened, and started, last October.
First things first, back in the late 2010s, I, 30M, was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease attacking my joints. It took until 2024 to get it managed. Between then, I managed to lose all my athletic fitness and gained 45lbs of fat.
In 2024, a friend convinced me to start running. Me, knowing that this is risky due to my weight and illness, knew this isn't the best idea, but I wasn't in the best place mentally, sport was always my life, and I genuinly loved, and love, running. Lo and behold, I lasted around 5 months until December 2024, when I got my first round of "oh shit, my knees and hips are starting to hurt".
I gave myself a few months of a break and got back into it during the summer of 2025. In August, my kneepain was crawling back in, but I mostly ignored it, lessened my load a little and that was it. Got up to running 10k in 60 minutes rather comfortably, and ran my first race in August, finishing in 68 minutes. Dreadfully slow, but finished.
Cue another race in October. My knee was hurting more now, but I decided to push through, betting if I finish under 60 minutes, I will ask a girl I liked out to coffee. I started the race poorly, rolling my ankle within the first 800 meters, but I persevered and pushed on, pain in my ankle and my knees notwithstanding. I knew I should have stopped right then and there, but instead, I pummeled through the last 2k, getting below 6:30/mi, finishing in 51 minutes. Still slow, but considerably faster. I was proud of myself.
And 10 minutes after I finished, I knew I fucked up. My knees were in a horrible state. I barely limped to the car, and drove home to ice them.
Thinking this will pass, I waited a few weeks, not running, not asking the girl out, just being in bed, in lots of pain and knee swelling. I had a big trip planned for December, but that fell through as I could not walk properly and I had to cancel last minute, to the great, great disappointment of my friends. I should have told them sooner and not wait until before departure to drop out.
Visiting the orthopedic surgeon at the end of December, and MRI and physio visit later, I learned that my poor hip and ankle control led to both of my knees turning inwards, putting great pressure on my kneecap and knee joint, ultimately irritating them so much something went wrong. Had I strenghtrained and rehabed them properly, and not pushed so hard so soon, its likely I would have been fine.
Worst still, there was no clear diagnosis, no findings on the MRI except grade 1 arthitis and mild joint effusion, no clear path forward to recovery, and no end of my pain in sight. Even after few more visits, and months upon months of physio, I am still in the same pain I was 10 months ago.
I still have to evaluate whether even walking to the store will be worth the pain and swelling later. I still can't walk pain free, let alone cycle, swim, hike or run. None the of the typical rehab exercises work and all cause pain. I am currently unsure how to move forward.
All my friends became fed up with me and my inability to go places (and honestly, this being on me, my not so positive attitude and complaining about kneepain), more so my friendships were always activity based. I see them all having amazing years, amazing summers full of wonderful trips, and I'm stuck at home, doing ineffective rehab and slowly getting beaten down by boredom.
Comparasion is a thief of joy, but boy, there isn't much joy to steal in the first place.
Worst thing is that this may as well be permanent, and I will need to think long and hard what to do with my life, all because I ran too soon too hard without proper strength work to sustain that.
TL:DR TL;DR: Ignored mounting joint pain and a rolled ankle to crush a 10k race for romantic motivation that I did follow through on anyway, completely wrecked my knees due to poor biomechanics, and ended up housebound, isolated, and in chronic pain 10 months later with no clear diagnosis.