u/3amcaliburrito

... if at all?

I picked up bass at 44. I've been playing around a year and a half now. I think I'm doing well. I joined a band late last summer and have played some shows. it's fun stuff, not terribly complicated. punk, pop punk, alt, rock, 90s-00s.

I'm really enjoying it, but I also really like faster and more aggressive stuff. on the side, I've been working on some other stuff. some of the thrash metal I grew up on. there's some really challenging stuff. and i do want to keep challenging myself and improving

It feels so far out of my current range and I guess I just kind of want a sanity check. I'm wondering if I need to like temper my expectations and accept that some stuff is going to be too fast, or if it's within reach and i just need to keep at it?

also I get that I'm still pretty early in my journey and it's not like I'm 'elderly' but I'm also real like... I'm not a kid anymore and I can feel it

thoughts?

I'm having a really difficult time getting in a good head space for our show on Friday. i think I've got all of the songs down, but I'm struggling to smile and get excited

also - It's my first show at a legit concert venue (not a bar) and i really need to be at 100%. I've been playing ~1.5y and this will be my 5th show. my nerves are mostly fine, a little anxious, I just don't feel any energy/drive.

any tips?

edit : I wanted to add that yeah I do take my mental health seriously I have been seeing a therapist and also I started meds like 2 months ago. I exercise pretty much daily. I'm just going through some pretty heavy stuff right now. I think I'm doing the basic self-care stuff that I should be doing

did you start new? or are you planning on starting new? I feel like it might be easier to just quit and find a new job vs detransitioning on the job.

I guess I'll be mtftm - seriously considering detransitioning because I look like a man still and i can't cope with a failed transition

I feel like kinda starting fresh might make it easier?