CW: Pet loss, idk how I’ll ever stop grieving
My first kitty, Orion passed away yesterday morning at 15 1/2 years old. He really was such a special cat, it was like he had a human soul, he listened when we talked to him, he used to take walks with us, and lived in four states. Since it was pretty early and nobody was awake yet, I helped him go home alone. He left with the sunrise. I really did want to go and get somebody because I didn’t want to do it by myself, but I just knew if I left the room he would’ve been gone by the time I was back.
I just let him know how much we loved him and it was okay to go and everyone understood he had to do this, then made sure he was comfortable and okay when putting him in a blanket after he went. It was genuinely one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve just been crying nonstop, my mom let me know I didn’t have to move him after he went and I could’ve got them for that but I really just wanted to make sure he was comfortable and I promised Orion I would stay by his side until he completed his journey.
Idk what else to do, I’ve been talking through it, crying so much, remembering how loving and smart Orion is, and knowing he feels so much better now and is safe. His paw print is going to be picked up later this week, and I have no idea if it’ll bring more of a sense of closure or just make the feeling worse