the only thing preventing me from committing suicide
I dont know what would come after death. is it gonna be nothing and i would have wasted my only chance of ever living , is it gonna be eternal pain or torture or whatever , or am I just gonna relive as another thing or in another way that I cant understand yet, would anyone actually care when I do it? am I gonna make someone's life harder by doing it , sometimes the idea of death feels so much more peaceful than the life i currently have.