u/777npc

wanna preface this by saying, I fucking love my gf, would kill for her, would live better for her, she makes me wanna be a better person.

however, sometimes the words of affirmation piss me off. too much “I love you”, too much “you’re wonderful”, “I’m here with you”. just a whole lot of nothing. now we are just saying sweet nothings all the time, but I like an actual conversation. intellectually it feels like eating unseasoned potatoes.

I get that words of affirmation are important, and that it means a lot to a lot of people, but saying I love you 50+ times a day instead of something that is actually more thought out feels lazy and just boring to me. I can’t do it, I’m starting to hate the words “I love you”, which is crazy cos I really fucking love her😭 I know she’s means this so so well, I cannot bring myself to tell her I hate it, please god someone advice??? Am I a fucking psychopath? I feel so guilty about this

UPDATE: spoke w her last night. it was initially a rough conversation, unrelated, about how we feel something is off. eventually I told her I noticed she was saying ily a lot, and I asked her why, she said she checking if I still loved her, which made me feel quite sad. both because I want her to feel loved and secure, but also because I wish she had just told me. but she’s been feeling very anxious following the traumatic event and also at too low of a capacity to talk. the whole conversation was productive and sad and good. we’re doing better this morning and things feel more calm, authentic, and real. thank yall for your advice, I appreciate you.

to those saying my steak is too juicy, firstly, thank you for reminding me to be grateful, and look at my problems in proportion to reality. but I wanna say this to you, because I feel many of you are coming from a place of loneliness, and for that I am sorry. I am also very lonely atm, I lost my friend group after I came out to them, it’s not the same as romantic loneliness, but I get why it struck a chord.

But listen; relationships arent all romance and happiness. real love is going through hell together and knowing the other person has got you at your worst. I do sincerely hope you get to experience the juicy steak, as well as what tough times can do to very healthy relationships, because ultimately I think that the richest love comes from working through crappy times together.

I (NB, 28, lesbian) am a med school student. Every second day there is an out of pocket, often hateful, comment about the queer community. Mostly focused on trans patients. But there’s been comments all around.

The majority of these come from lecturers and doctors, in the most irrelevant, inappropriate situations. Things like scrutinizing language like “assigned gender at birth”, acting as if benign DSD manifestations need surgery at birth, saying everyone is transgender these days, saying that transgender people get gender reassignment surgery then want to switch back all the time, that lesbians are just aggressive because they have excess testosterone, that gay men are sexually deviant and that’s why they get HIV more commonly. I used to call it out, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s lead to me getting ostracized by classmates. I feel so lonely and hopeless. This degree was my passion and my dream and my purpose. Not to mention the medical racism and misogyny and general inhumanity I see day to day from doctors and nurses alike.

I am so tired, they are spreading misinformation and hate to the next generation of doctors.

Is anyone here a doctor or other medical professional? Anyone had this experience. It’s really impacting my mental health. Any words of encouragement or advice would be so appreciated.

I (NB, 28, lesbian) am a med school student. Every second day there is an out of pocket, often hateful, comment about the queer community. Mostly focused on trans patients. But there’s been comments all around.

The majority of these come from lecturers and doctors, in the most irrelevant, inappropriate situations. Things like scrutinizing language like “assigned gender at birth”, acting as if benign DSD manifestations need surgery at birth, saying everyone is transgender these days, saying that transgender people get gender reassignment surgery then want to switch back all the time, that lesbians are just aggressive because they have excess testosterone, that gay men are sexually deviant and that’s why they get HIV more commonly. I used to call it out, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s lead to me getting ostracized by classmates. I feel so lonely and hopeless. This degree was my passion and my dream and my purpose. Not to mention the medical racism and misogyny and general inhumanity I see day to day from doctors and nurses alike.

I am so tired, they are spreading misinformation and hate to the next generation of doctors.

Is anyone here a doctor or other medical professional? Anyone had this experience. It’s really impacting my mental health. Any words of encouragement or advice would be so appreciated.