u/ABentFairy

This is the one of the areas, aside from all the systemic issues within the profession, that really bothers me.

Despite always having conversations with my clients at intake about the importance of not ghosting and allowing for adequate case closure, I still have a number of people every so often who will drop therapy and thus create a lot more administrative work for me and it’s hard not to feel irritated by it. Especially when these people are frequent flyers within the program and return to me later on and/or refuse to follow up on the external referrals I give them despite acknowledging that my hours don’t work for their needs.

If I were in a different type of setting I’d likely be able to handle things differently and thus not feel so annoyed but, in the setting I’m in, I am expected to take referrals even if they’ve been through the program already and been closed due to lack of follow up.

“Refer out” is not typically a solution either as the patients will not do anything with the materials given and then, weeks or months later, their referral comes back across my desk from their prescriber for the same issues.

I realize this is something that’s going to happen. I realize I ought not personalize it and that clients lack of insight and accountability is often what leads them to therapy in the first place.

I just get so tired of feeling like my time, work and energy is being taken for granted. I hear similar sentiments not just from clients but people in general life too, about how apathetic or even antagonistic they are towards therapy.

It really feels like something that’s gotten worse over the last 5-6 years. Definitely since COVID.

How are y’all dealing with this?

TL:DR; Feeling consistently disrespected both by clients who ghost and/or don’t make therapy a priority and the antagonistic public perception of therapy that seems to have become more of a thing over the last several years. How are you all dealing with it?

I already own several Bihn bags but am not sure I’ve found my perfect fit yet. Started with the Medium Café bag but ended up disliking the vertical structure and buckle, then tried the Side Effect but found it too small for my daily carry items so gifted it to a friend. Currently am using the Big Bantam and while there are many aspects of it I like (the versatility of carry options, for example) I find that it’s still a tight or awkward fit at times and I end up rooting around for things that have sunk to the bottom.

For context, I carry the typical things a lot of people do (wallet, keys etc) but I also like to carry my Kobo (6”) and I have an inhaler I have to carry as well which can add bulk.

In researching, the Side Kick has been well reviewed and is consistently listed as a fan favorite. So, for those of you who have it, how do you like it and what has your experience been with using it?

TL;DR: Trying to decide if switching from the Big Bantam to the Side Kick would better meet my needs.

Edit: And to those of you with the whale pouches, how is it using those and do they make a big difference in how and what you carry?

As the title states, I feel like ghosting from clients has gotten worse compared to when I first started working. I’m not sure if this is a post-pandemic thing or what but I’m shocked at how many clients, of varying ages, will just drop off entirely only to resurface later or otherwise go to a different therapist without ever providing any kind of feedback.

For context, I work in a setting where I am responsible not only for providing therapy to some patients but also for ensuring they get proper referrals if they go for services outside so it’s important I know whether they plan to go to another therapist or not as this is something I have to report to the rest of their care team.

Yet despite having this conversation very clearly and highlighting the fact that I do not personalize it if patients choose to go elsewhere but that I simply need to know for the sake of informing the rest of their care team, I still have people who will ghost and it feels like it’s more normalized now.

TL:DR; Have some clients always been this avoidant or are you all seeing this too?

Made a post here about a week ago where I mentioned that my loan provider was saying my repayment amount was going to be close to $1400 a month next year.

Everyone told me in the comments that this was the amount that it would be if I did not submit my IBR documents next year.

Now, literally just today, I get communication from them saying my payment schedule has changed and they are wanting (again) nearly $1400 starting next month.

What is going on? Is this happening to anyone else?

The Cruelist Room I Know Is Full Of Therapists

Apparently this woman is an MFT and “life coach” and writes for Medium with some regularity. Personally I found this article super irritating. It scares me that there are people in the profession out here peddling this kind of message.

For context, I’m a Masters level social worker with about $125k student loan debt. I lived at home for most of my schooling and immediately went to work after graduating.

Like many of us, I haven’t earned enough in the past to cover the interest when making payments. Recently applied for the IBR plan and while my repayment amount is technically doable this year (just under $300 a month) it’s telling me that next year it’ll just jump to nearly $1400 a month?

What on earth is the thinking behind that? I make $35 an hour and have bills and medical expenses, $1400 a month is at least 35% of my monthly income.

Edit: This is my overall loan amount with my Bachelors and Masters, not $125k just for one degree.

The $1400 is apparently the amount that would be due if I did not reapply for IBR. Thank you for those who shared that information.

For those saying social work was obviously a bad degree choice, this is the one of the main educational paths required to become a therapist in the United States. There isn’t a shortcut, it’s an advanced degree or nothing. If you want licensed therapists, someone has to earn these degrees.

What I find interesting is that people constantly talk about the mental health crisis, the shortage of providers, long waitlists, and the need for better access to care. Then, when someone points out the financial reality of becoming a therapist, the response is often, “Well, you shouldn’t have chosen that field.”

Those two positions cannot coexist. You cannot demand more mental health professionals while simultaneously telling people they were foolish for pursuing the education required to become one.

One thing I’ve noticed in therapist spaces online is the degree of anxiety many clinicians seem to carry about having very human needs or responses in the work environment.

Every week I see posts asking whether it’s okay to do things like drink water in session, or if it’s unprofessional to yawn, or acceptable to take a bathroom break, or if a momentary lapse in focus means they’re a terrible therapist, or whether a client disliking them means they’re failing.

Maybe this is a function of who posts online, but I find it concerning.

Clients are not (or at least should not be) expecting perfection. They are meeting with another human being who happens to have training and expertise. You’re allowed to have needs, limitations, off days, and moments where you don’t execute perfectly.

Likewise, not every client is going to like you.

A strong therapeutic alliance is not the same thing as being liked. Sometimes therapy requires challenging beliefs, confronting avoidance, discussing uncomfortable truths, or offering feedback that a client would rather not hear. If nobody is ever frustrated with us, disagrees with us, or feels challenged by us, that’s a problem IMO.

What concerns me is the amount of hypervigilance these posts suggest exists among therapists nowadays and so many concerns about how they are perceived. It’s as though many clinicians are walking into sessions afraid of making a mistake, afraid of being disliked, afraid of setting a boundary, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and afraid of being seen as imperfect. Afraid of their clients, basically.

How exhausting.

Clinical competence matters. Ethics matter. Supervision matters. But at some point we also have to trust our training and allow ourselves to acknowledge that there are two human beings in the room.

One of the most influential books I read as a graduate student was The Gift of Therapy by Irvin D. Yalom. Whatever modality you practice, I think its emphasis on authenticity, presence, and the real relationship between therapist and client is worth revisiting.

As an example, he talks in the book about how powerful therapist self-disclosure can be. Yet based on some of the comments and things I’ve seen here I’d wager there’s more than a few pearl clutching types who’d say that’s terribly unethical, full stop. They wouldn’t take professional judgment, nuance and context into consideration.

There are some examples where such a thing can be incredibly helpful if done appropriately and with client consent. We need to remember that there are nuances and a level of flexibility to therapy. Not everything works like a grad school case study or textbook example.

TL;DR: Being a therapist doesn’t require becoming a flawless, emotionless healthcare robot.

She was so shady and scheming to screw over Aura that the audacity to be upset over not getting Aura’s points is ridiculous.

Bought a Nook Glowlight 4 yesterday as I wanted to start moving away from Amazon despite being a kindle user for many years.

So far I’m really liking it (physical page turn buttons are great and somehow I honestly feel like the screen is better or softer somehow which makes for better reading).

Yet after charging it up to full yesterday I’m shocked that it’s already in the 80s. I read for maybe an hour or so last night and have been reading a bit today as well. I don’t use the brightness on high or anything and it’s never connected to WiFi.

Is this type of drain normal? And is there a way to turn the percentage view off? I think if I didn’t see the numbers falling every time I adjust a setting I’d be less worried about it.

I’d also welcome any other tips or tricks you’ve found to help optimize your reading experience. Thanks!