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Coworker was sick at work and got me sick this week. Thankfully today is my day off anyways but stuck in bed ordering soup from Uber Eats and binge watching favorite show. I can barely do anything today so thankfully it’s nice to live alone but it would be nice to have someone take care of me too. Oh well

Luckily my coworker who was a dude was like right away… hey theres something attached to your shoe and i looked and out of sheer embarrassment i was like oh thanks!. Thankfully nobody else saw it.

Season 1, Chapter 2 At The Walsh Dinner Table

INT: Cindy serves her famous lasagna with the option to be wild with a jar of red pepper flakes for some spice.

::Jim, Brandon and Brenda are eating at the table::

Brandon: “I met a hot guy today. His name is Dillweed. I think we are going to be best friends and perhaps lovers since I noticed hm looking at my hot dog”

Jim: “Well just be responsible and make sure to use a condom. I’m not in the least concerned about your sexual activity since I did the same exact thing when I was your age. Cindy, can you pass the salt and pepper?”

Cindy: “Well Brenda, how was your day?”

Brenda: “I really like this guy named Dillweed and I might go out with him and see this Mary Pickford screening in Westwood since he told me it’s better to see old movies on the big screen instead of video tape”

Jim: “Wait a minute Brenda, it’s illegal for you to have sex with anyone let alone a man that has an earring. It’s clear he is Brandon’s. You are not allowed to do anything but come home, do homework, eat Cindy’s gourmet dinners, and put the dishes in the dishwasher the Walsh way.”

Brenda: “But why is it okay for Brandon to have sex with anyone and I can’t!??”

Jim: “Because Brenda, I’m a sexist baby boomer that had a mother that cleaned the house, cooked dinner and had sex with my father to produce other children. I was allowed to fuck anything that moved because I was a male, and that’s exactly what happened before I met your mother. You are a woman, that means you have no rights and nobody will ever be good enough for my baby girl. Perhaps Superman might come through that door in 1992 after meeting you at Blockbuster video, buts the only man I’d approve.”

Brenda: “Unfortunately dad, I’m probably going to defy you for the next 4 years and sneak off to Baja to be with Dillweed. I may even have sex with him at the Spring Dance.”

Jim: “Well then we shall only pay attention to Brandon and treat him like the golden child for the next 4 years.”

Brandon: “Sounds great dad. You don’t mind if I drive drunk one of these times and total Mondale?”

Jim: “As long as you don’t screw that old lady that runs the school paper you can do whatever you want.”

Brandon: “Don’t worry. She’s into men like Elvis Presley.”

::Everyone laughs and continues eating::