u/ANAonymous_User

TW: Relapsing

Idk how to feel. A tiny part of me is relived to have made a decision at last but then the rest of me is screaming that it's a bad idea and that I need to get my head out of the proverbial toilet.

Pause.

I miss the community I had here, people I could talk to and who could relate to me. I miss having the knowledge that I am not alone in this illness.

I also know how much of a spiral that it was last time and how deep it went.

I pLaN oN oNlY dOiNG a LiTtLe BiT oF tHe AnOrExIa type shii. Thats what I'm telling myself but in the back of my mind I am scared shit-less.

Pause.

This last year has been hell. Not in a "oh I'm on a recovery journey" but one day wanting to be recovered and the next wanting to be back at my Lois.

I don't know what to think anymore. The world is fucked and I want back the little control I had in my life.

Please, if anyone can relate or has advice, much appreciated.