u/Abject-Reaction2136

Heyyy just wanted to start this off with I AM NOT THE ONE HES CHEATING WITH. So basically my (23 F) son (4M) recently had surgery to have a Loop monitor put in his chest to monitor his heart. His dad’s/ my exes (24 M) family carries a gene for a genetic heart condition and it comes along with repeated surgeries and daily medicine so he doesn’t pass out from adrenaline. Anyways during this surgery his dad was at the hospital like maybe 4 hours throughout the 3 days we were there inpatient. Instead of coming he let my son use his iPad while I stayed at the hospital the whole time (I would’ve either way because my sons in the hospital lol). We broke up for similar reasons 3 years ago (my son was less than a year old and had a scary hospital stay and my ex didn’t stay at the hospital, but instead went out and cheated on me). Anyways we already had issues with this iPad because it used to be brought to my house, and I caught our son (3 at the time) full on watching porn. He unknowingly clicked on the Safari and it was open to porn. His father used their SHARED iPad to watch porn (even worse that the girl in the video looked like me). To get to the point, I went through the iPad when we were in the hospital because there were a lot of text notifications going off while my son was playing on it (it’s connected to my exes icloud). I know it was an invasion of privacy, and I do feel guilty about it. I definitely got my karma for snooping. I saw proof of him cheating on his now girlfriend with the girl that he cheated on me with. Nudes were actively being sent in that moment. I feel absolutely so devastated for her. I wish I didn’t snoop because it has brought back so many bad memories of things he has done to me. I’ve tried to be coparents with him and remain friendly, but it’s really hard when he brags about how he’s worked on himself so much and is a different man. I feel like an asshole for not telling his girlfriend about it. I really don’t want to be involved in any drama with that. I just started taking meds and going to therapy and I don’t want to ruin any progress. He did very diabolical things to me when we were together and if I could I would never talk to him ever again. Also to note the only time I’ve interacted with his gf was her butting into an argument that me and him were having and she basically called me a bitch. I doubt she will even believe me if I send her a “Hey girlie” text. He is so very manipulative and uses his undiagnosed autism as an excuse of why he cheats and threatens suicide when you try to leave (coming from an actual diagnosed neurodivergent woman who dated him). I don’t know. Is it my place to even tell her? I feel like I’m not being a girls girl if I don’t say anything. Would I be the asshole if I don’t say anything? (also to add I have dyslexia so typing isn’t my strong suit so sorry for any spelling errors!)