Brother’s baby mama is a financial drain.
Help. My brother (m 49) is in a 10 year relationship with an emotionally & financially abusive partner (f 45). He is being verbally abused and isolated from the family. They have 2 young boys. He is the primary h/h earner, makes 200K annually. He cannot get ahead between rent, cost of living and out of control spending. I am in a position to help however I don't want to watch him burn up the money & still not get ahead. I am tempted to even offer her money to leave. They have fought in the past with her threatening to leave.
Should I help or wait until she leaves? She may never leave, doesn't have a job. I don't want to see him suffer. Do I wait until he hits rock bottom for a chance at real change to happen? Do I give him the money and explain this is it? TIA
Edit: They are not married, so divorce isn't an option. He will not leave his kids. Yes his spending is a problem too.