I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Purple_Winner_8587

AITA for telling my girlfriend to go and ask to be adopted by the couple she is so obsessed with?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Neglect!<

MOOD SPOILER: >!Predictable!<

Original Post - rareddit Feb 7, 2023

My girlfriend Katie made a new friend a few months ago, Mary. Katie talked about her a lot, Mary said this, did that, started teaching her something, etc.

I thought it was a bit weird how much Katie seemed to look up to Mary, but I didn't think much of it until Mary's husband, Joe, entered the picture too. From then on, Katie talked about their relationship all the time. How they do things, how they divide the chores, how respectful are they to each other. Basically how they are just the best couple ever.

I've met them to and they are honestly nothing special, maybe a bit on the boring side even.

Yesterday evening Katie was once again going on about them, saying things like Mary and Joe are true soulmates and theirs is the healthiest relationship she had ever seen, blablabla. I had a really fucking long day at work, so I told her I don't want to hear about them. I don't care about her creepy crush on this random ass couple, but if she likes them so much, she should go and ask them to adopt her or ask if she can be their third.

Katie then gave me the cold shoulder and left to go home to her apartment instead of sleeping at my place like she was supposed to. I need to know if I'm right and her obsession is creepy or if I'm not seeing something right and I'm the asshole here. AITA?

VERDICT: ASSHOLE

RELEVANT COMMENTS

RayWencube

>YTA -- my friend, she's trying to tell you what she wants out of your relationship without hurting you or making you feel defensive.

Practical_Entry_7623

>>While you’re not wrong and he is TA she needs to open her mouth and actually say what she wants all of this hinting and subliminal messaging is not the way and all its doing is creating discord. He isnt picking up on hints all he sees is her constantly fawning over two people and he doesnt get it even after meeting them. If she wants her boyfriend to change then she needs to lay it out for him what she is looking for in a relationship.

Ms_Cats_Meow

>>>To be fair to Katie, a bunch of internet strangers read a secondhand account of what she said and we got it.

Alarming_Reply_6286

> YTA > > Bet Joe would never tell Mary to shut up. Do you often feel threatened from hearing that other people have their shit together? Katie was talking about her friends. That’s a pretty normal conversation. You’re taking it personally, why? Do you think Katie is trying to tell you something?

~

PreferenceHungry8181

>YTA. She is trying to tell you what she wants in y'all's relationship. And you are just showing her that you don't give a shit.

OOP updated same day/Same post

Update:

She finally texted me back. She wrote a long ass message saying that she had tried everything with me and she thought if she was patient and clear about her needs, I would eventually change for her. But she realized thanks to Mary and Joe that it's not her job to raise a man and get her boyfriend to respect her. She wrote a lot of other things about Mary too, like that Mary is truly proud of her husband and looks up to him, meanwhile she (Katie) can't find it in herself to look up to me in anything and so on... So yeah, I hope you all are happy, you got what you wanted....

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is throwaway4727281347. They posted in r/TrueOffMyChest

Thanks to u/pepcorn for the rec!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. This has not been posted here before.

Mood Spoiler: >!just yikes!<

Original Post: October 13, 2022

My wife doesn't follow or know anything about Twitch or video games at all. She doesn't have any knowledge of or connection to the industry I used to work in. She is a paramedic so she works different shifts and does not know I stream at times when she is not home. Her salary is enough to cover our bills although things will be a bit tighter until I starting making money on my stream.

I'm not going to tell anyone until I'm bringing in enough money that I can do it full time. I have never been happier and not stressed as I am now. It's easy for me to lock myself in my home office and say I'm networking and job hunting when I'm really streaming if my wife and/or my 3 year old is home. If she's not working or my daughter is not at daycare it's harder but I make it work. I feel a bit guilty for lying but I have wanted to do this for a long time. No one that I know in real life knows. Obviously posting this with a throwaway.

Top Comments***:***

Deleted Account: So you’re never going to tell anyone…

You’re not going to make money, you’re a fucking loser taking advantage of your wife.

Grow the fuck up and get a job and Help take care of YOUR child

Or you can wait til your wife finds out what a fucking deceitful user you are and hopefully leaves you

DevilDog82nd: This is a fools game you are playing. Stop lying about it and own it.

ackayak: Damn bro lying to your wife is a shitty thing to do.

What if you don't make it and never make money like 90% of the people who try.

What are you going to tell her you have been doing for months/years.

>Circus-wolf: If he does end up making it, imagine him telling his wife. "Hey honey I've been lying to you for months/years but it all worked out. Even though you were the only one supporting us for months and we had to go without often"

Update Post: November 1, 2025 (Over 3 years later)

Title: Update, my wife and everyone else thinks I got laid off but really I quit so I could make a go at being a Twitch streamer full time. An update and my divorce destroyed me and she's dating again now.

I know I'll probably get flamed but I get it. I understand that I am the one who ruined my life and my marriage. My divorce was finalized a year ago. She found out about 6 months after I posted. I understand that I was wrong and that I screwed up. I regret my stupidity so much. She left our flat with our daughter and went to live with her sister and hired a solicitor and that was it. Don't be stupid like me.

We've been divorced for a year and I found out she just started dating again. I'm gutted. I miss her. I miss my daughter because she only lives with me half the time. Whenever I see my wife's sister or other members of her family they give me the stink eye. I can't believe I was such a lazy fuck while she was out there busting her ass as a paramedic. I understand why everyone hates me and sided with her. I know I'll get judged either way but I'm posting in case anyone understands what I'm going through and being gutted when your ex starts dating again.

Top Comments:

wasabinski: I read your original post and the funny thing is that everyone told you this was going to happen, and it did.

>blackdanish: The fact that, everyone told him that was going to happen and it did happen is soo funny to me😂. Like bro even a child would have seen this coming from miles away.

Beginning-Bed9364: How's the streaming career?

>GuardianAlien: Who would have guessed it's not that easy!

DestructicusDawn: what grown man with a family does something like this?

>spkincaid13: Im a police officer and went to an apartment to check on some kids once. Two kids 6 and 8, both non verbal. Both home schooled by dad. They lived in low income housing in a neighborhood where you regularly hear gunshots. They had the bare minimum in the apartment. Except of course for dad's streaming setup. He had a better gaming PC than me and I thought I spent too much on mine with no kids. He was neglecting home school to focus on his streaming career. Absolutely delusional.

cjstr8: You could’ve kept your job and did streams at night, you idiot.

NoeTellusom: If you haven't already, it's likely past time to speak to a therapist about how you sabotaged your job and marriage to find out what happened and how to avoid doing something like this, again.

>justjulia2189: I usually get annoyed by the excessive recommendation for therapy on this site (literally everyone knows it exists, so it’s often just a ton of filler comments that add no value to the conversation) but this comment is actually super appropriate, especially since it defines exactly what he needs to work on. It almost sounds like he might struggle with impulse control or something, but there is definitely a lot to unpack here, and a professional could really help him with moving forward, especially since he is showing a lot of remorse and ownership of his mistakes.