u/Acceptable_Wall_908

So basically this has been going on as long as I can remember. For example an hour ago everyone is eating dinner, normal family stuff then my eldest brother asks my mom if he can have the car tmrw, my other brother says he doesn’t need the car bc his friend will pick him up bc they will be going to Hang out, my sister and dad have work and me and my mom will be home. My mom turns to me and asks why I don’t just hang out with my brother and his friends, and I need to say that I don’t like hanging out with my brothers friends. We have a two year age gap, all of them are in university and im in the 11 grade. I do talk with some of them but i wouldnt want to make it awkward. So, I refuse to hangout with my brothers friends tmrw morning and basically tell my family that I would rather stay home then hangout with people i dont even know the names to. My sister tells me I don’t have friends which is just false. My mom says i need to socialize more. Dad and eldest brother tell me it’s embarrassing for me, a 16 year old boy to not have friends. I told them I just don’t want to hang out with these people. Anyways, a few hours prior to this I told both my mom and dad I would go hang out with my friend on august 20th because thats when he is free, and during the dinner conversation my dad just starts making fun of me in a condescending tone, telling my siblings word for word this: “oh dont worry, he’s going with his friend on the 20th as if that will make up for him being a introvert”(he said this all in Urdu but thats just a sure fact) I got a lil mad, stood up, told them im tired and went to bed.

This wasn’t a one time thing. This is just one of many example. I will try putting an input while everyone is talking and I will just be ignored or hushed condescendingly. I will stutter a bit and they will tell the whole extended family I have a stutter. They have made fun of the way I talk, mess things up on accident and because of all this ive gotten shy and embarrassed to even talk to people in public to the point they make fun of that now also. They started three years ago to make fun of my unsocial behaviour at shops or restaurants as if it isnt their fault im quiet and barely talk to anyone, even cousins, aunts and uncles.

I don’t know how to even bring this up to my family without anyone ignoring me or just hushing me. I’ve tried talking with them about other problems i face but they would act as if my problems don’t matter.

Im starting to get more shy and shut in by the day and im now worried about myself because we just moved houses and im going to a new school where I don’t know anyone and im scared I won’t be able to build friendships with anyone new because of how antisocial and quiet I’ve gotten

So a bit of background, I’m in my senior years of high school and I like meeting people online. I love meeting people online, even though it can be dangerous but I just like hearing peoples experiences from other countries.

So not long ago, I think maybe mid November, I was just on a server on discord which is rare for me since i usually meet people off video games, but then I get a random DM from this girl who I’ll call “N”, so N is a year younger than me, lives in Italy, I live in North America, so already I knew “a relationship isn’t possible with distance like this” on top of that, I’m not one whos ready for a relationship and ON TOP OF THAT, we both are Muslim, so I thought this could just be somebody I can chat with for fun. So around five six week later, she tells me that she like me, an again, im not someone who wants an online relationship, but to my surprise she tells me she doesn’t want a relationship but she couldn’t hide something like this from me, so I said thats totally fine, it’s okay, I guess where I went wrong was that I did not tell her im not ready for a relationship either especially one online. So fast forward, we’ve made mutual friends also, small little online friend group, she hasn’t told anyone in this group she likes me, i didnt plan on telling anyone because it just isn’t right. But one day she texts me on instagram and I’ll just say word for word what happened:

N: Hii, you awake?
Me: wsg?
N: I need to tell you something?
Me: what?
N: I know ive told you before, I like you, and I also said I don’t want a relationship, and you told me that’s fine. Well now I think I fell for you more, would you be my boy friend?

Now, I don’t consider myself overly attractive, but it’s not extremely rare I’ve gotten asked out, and I’ve always politely declined everyone whos asked, and im not gonna treat N like shes a charity case I need to say yes too, and on a side note, N is attractive. I won’t lie and I have told her this before but that doesn’t mean I find her someone I want to be with. So I reply with this:

“Sorry, N, you’re a nice, and pretty person but I just don’t see you more than a friend. Im also not ready for a relationship. I hope you still want to be my friend”

Tbh, she did not like that response at all. She instantly got mad or at least thats what I thought by the tone of her messages, she was calling me slurs, insulting me, telling me I led her on by being nice??? I thought being nice was something everyone does, just because someone’s nice doesn’t mean they like you. Anyways, after she insulted me, she quite literally blocked me on everything and left the group chat. So I got mad because I felt she was overreacting, i text a mutual friend to send a message though them and I said:

“You’re really blocking me in everything because I don’t want a relationship with you? Real mature. Im not ready for a relationship in real life so why would I want one online? Maybe I should have told you I don’t want a relationship beforehand but dont you dare mistake mt kindness as ‘flirting’”

So the mutual friend told N this, N told everyone I led her on, I left the group chat, not as a dramatic exit but because N was in the GC and was good friends with everyone and I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s friendships bc of this.

Im still friends with all of them except N of course but here’s a lil moral of the story, dont get too attached with people online

So, AITAH?