u/AccomplishedOne6897

Not Boston, but Chelsea — close enough. I recently accepted a new job that requires me to take a pay cut. I bought a car about two years ago and currently pay $475/month for the loan plus $189 for insurance, so over $664 a month just for the car alone.

Right now, I live in the suburbs with a family, so having a car has been necessary. But with this new job being in the city, I wanted to move closer — partly for the commute, but also because I’m 26 and want to improve other aspects of my life too. I found an apartment I really like in Chelsea. It’s affordable for me and literally right in front of a Silver Line stop, so transportation-wise it seems ideal.

Financially though, I’d probably need to sell my car. I genuinely need to start saving money, and I don’t think I’ll realistically be able to do that while carrying a car payment, insurance, gas, parking, maintenance, etc. My commute will also be paid for through work.

For anyone familiar with Chelsea/Boston area living — do you think I’d realistically be okay without a car? I’m nervous about giving up the convenience, but keeping it feels like it’s holding me back financially. I’m all ears.

Seven months of no contact. People kept telling me, “he’s not coming back,” and tomorrow makes a week since he did… and for once, I didn’t entertain it. The old version of me would’ve kept the conversation going just because I missed him.

Around month five, I finally started putting myself back out there. Nothing serious came from it, but I had fun and tried to move forward. Then out of nowhere, he texted me: “So I heard you’re going on dates with 60-year-old men?”

For context, I went on a couple dates with older men in their 40s and 50s over a year ago. Nothing serious. Just experiences. Ironically, the rumor probably came from a hometown friend/personal trainer who once joked that I should “find a rich older guy.”

I responded: “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

And honestly? Responding triggered something in me. Him disappearing again after that triggered me too.

So I sent one final message:

“I wasn’t going to follow up with another text, but I won’t tolerate a disrespectful message after being ghosted and avoided for months. I’m aware I didn’t handle the last situation perfectly either, but I’ve moved past all of this and left things alone. If you can’t communicate with me like an adult, then we can leave things here and continue leaving each other alone.”

He replied: “Yeah, that’s my fault. I apologize.”

And I never answered.

Part of me still wants to. But some things are meant to end, even when you still care.

I’m not sure how to feel right now. Honestly, I’m disappointed in myself because I feel like I re-opened a wound I worked hard to heal from.

For context, I was seeing a guy on and off for months and I became really attached to him. Toward the end, I spiraled a bit emotionally and confessed how much I liked him and how the situation was hurting me. After some back and forth, he eventually ghosted me. Looking back, I know I didn’t handle everything in the healthiest way, so I accepted it and left him alone.

We also went to the same gym, which made things awkward. For months, there was barely any contact and he’d avoid me at all costs.

Then after 7 months of silence, he randomly messages me: “So, I heard you’re going on dates with 60-year-old men?”

I genuinely have no idea where he got that from. I recently started putting myself out there again after being celibate for a long time, but that comment caught me completely off guard.

I responded with, “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” and now he hasn’t replied. Part of me regrets responding at all because I feel anxious all over again, like I allowed him access to me after finally moving on.

At the same time, I don’t understand why he’d even care or why I’m apparently being talked about in the first place.

Even after two years, I still look her up… and they’re still together.

The crazy part is, he doesn’t really cross my mind anymore. She does.

I was seeing this guy for about a year and I genuinely fell hard for him. He treated me poorly in a lot of ways, but I had never liked someone the way I liked him. Toward the end, something in me kept telling me another girl was involved. My intuition would not leave me alone.

Turns out, he had a girlfriend the entire time (he’s literally a serial cheater).

I found her and told her everything. She stayed with him. They both blocked me. Recently, he unblocked me, and his profile popped up in my suggestions. I blocked him immediately because I refuse to go through that cycle again.

But for some reason, I still look her up sometimes.

I think I compare myself to her to this day. What did he see in her that he didn’t see in me? Why was she “worth” keeping and I wasn’t? I compare our lives constantly. She recently graduated from a dental hygiene program, and meanwhile I’m over here getting my master’s degree and just accepted a really great government job. On paper, I know I’m doing well for myself. But emotionally? I still feel stuck in this weird comparison loop.

It’s honestly exhausting how one situation can affect your self-worth for years, even after you’ve moved on from the actual person. How do I move on from this?

Even after two years, I still look her up… and they’re still together.

The crazy part is, he doesn’t really cross my mind anymore. She does.

I was seeing this guy for about a year and I genuinely fell hard for him. He treated me poorly in a lot of ways, but I had never liked someone the way I liked him. Toward the end, something in me kept telling me another girl was involved. My intuition would not leave me alone.

Turns out, he had a girlfriend the entire time (he’s literally a serial cheater).

I found her and told her everything. She stayed with him. They both blocked me. Recently, he unblocked me, and his profile popped up in my suggestions. I blocked him immediately because I refuse to go through that cycle again.

But for some reason, I still look her up sometimes.

I think I compare myself to her to this day. What did he see in her that he didn’t see in me? Why was she “worth” keeping and I wasn’t? I compare our lives constantly. She recently graduated from a dental hygiene program, and meanwhile I’m over here getting my master’s degree and just accepted a really great government job. On paper, I know I’m doing well for myself. But emotionally? I still feel stuck in this weird comparison loop.

It’s honestly exhausting how one situation can affect your self-worth for years, even after you’ve moved on from the actual person.

accepted tjo for an asylum officer position - gs7. pay is so low and hopefully, I’ll have my masters by the fall of 2026. I tried asking If I’d be able to pivot to gs9 once I receive my diploma and was basically told no💔 not sure how I’ll survive for a year on a $57k.