u/AceAspie11_2_24

I am on iOS, by the way, but I have a question. Can a Reddit mod change a username for me for political reasons? I don’t care if the new one is auto-generated. Long story short, I have been increasingly getting heat from Redditors (especially in autistic communities) due to the fact that the term Aspie (unbeknownst to me at the time of creating the username, as it was reused from my other social media accounts) has N**i **roots, and I would prefer not to risk losing access to a community or communities over a f*****ing username, especially communities that I otherwise feel safe in. And last time I attempted to make a new account (for mental health related reasons, short-story version of the reason), I got shadow banned, so I don’t think creating a new account is the solution.

I am admittedly hesitant to post this, as I am scared I will get permabanned, but I don’t really have much left to lose at this point.

Back in February, I was permanently banned from two subreddits. I guess that they were partners with each other. I was falsely accused of harassment (my post and comments were NOWHERE NEAR qualified as such), and when I tried to reason with modmail I was permanently muted as well. Messaging them therefore does no good anymore. This is part of the reason why I have not posted here in so long, as I don’t trust that the mods in question are not mods on this server as well.

So I am taking a risk posting this, but whatever . . . I have POTS and am a wheelchair user and want to be in a community where I post freely without fear of judgement. I just can’t do that if I have to walk on eggshells and worry that the “wrong” comment or post will get me permanently banned from an entire community. It definitely has left me feeling lonely, isolated, and depressed . . . Especially since social media communities are the closest thing I have to access to friends and just connection in general.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks.

So I have this friend (if you even want to still call her that at this point) that has been poor her whole life. Ok, fine, whatever. But here I am, as an SSI recipient, and I find myself in a predicament.

See, she has been making a lot of comments about my finances, that I can’t do this and that “because it’s not within my budget.” Now, I get the concept that budgeting is important (setting aside for the time being the debate on the appropriateness of her comments), but when she is saying that for every little thing that isn’t the bare minimum necessities (and I mean BARE necessities), that saps the joy out of living, if you even want to call that living. Oh, and before you ask, she knows what I spend at times, grocery wise because she helps with taking me there (a fact I will come back to). Plus, she knows that I am on SSI, so it is not hard to make assumptions, and plus when she sees the occasional purchase I have made manifest themselves at my place, it’s obvious.

Additionally, a recent comment she made really irked me and made me want to do things I can’t say on Reddit. She said to me that “I’m poor. That’s a fact. I need to learn to live like it.” It irked me because she herself is in poverty. She has admitted as much. I would think that she would be the last person who should be making such a comment, as she surely knows how hurtful such a comment can be, and she did so anyway. She tries to excuse it by saying that she doesn’t sugar coat anything and that she is simply stating a fact (which granted, I can’t deny is true, as being on SSI certainly falls within poverty level guidelines), but I don’t think that that justifies her being a complete prick, to say it non-explicitly.

Just because I am on SSI doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be happy and enjoy life and buy something nice for myself once a month as a treat for myself. Living with multiple disabilities is hard enough. And just living on the absolute bare minimum (or “live like [I’m poor because I am],” as she put it), as she suggests I should do, is the kind of life that would - at best - make me extremely depressed or - at worst - bring back thoughts of making myself vanish (which is a dark place I have been multiple times and would prefer to avoid). Read between the lines there, and you will surely know what I am referring to. As for her comment on poverty, saying that the comment makes me angry is a SEVERE understatement, as angry is NOWHERE NEAR the proper description of how that makes me feel.

I don’t know what to think, or how to respond after the fact. The poverty comment is particularly weighing on my mind, and the worst part is that she is my caregiver [plus I am autistic (with POTS as well), so finding another one to replace her who is willing to work with a client with multiple health conditions would be tricky at best], so it is not like I can afford to cut her off at the moment without . . . complications.

Thoughts, reactions, and suggestions are welcome. Please, though, respond with a bit of empathy, as I am a bit . . . vulnerable . . . at the moment.

EDIT (for clarification):

1. I am on SSI and receive exactly $1233.94 per month (as I am in California). The space rent for my mobile home is just under $857, leaving me with around $376 for the rest of the month. Internet and gas for the year have been prepaid in advance; the source of which is irrelevant here. Water and sewage is included in the rent; electricity is not, and amounts to $90 a month average. I currently am receiving mobile phone service from Spectrum for free for 12 months. Also, assuming I could save money, my SSI and the $2000 asset limit serves to penalize doing so, and setting aside cash for such purposes is considered hiding money and thus (to the SSA) is amount to fraud.
2. she is my IHSS (In-Home Support Services) caregiver, so no, she is not responsible for my finances. She does not operate under a supervisory role. She is not that type of caregiver. Driving me to the grocery store to help with the grocery shopping is part of the hours I receive, and I am relatively independent otherwise (between public transportation, my recumbent e-trike, and - depending on the circumstance - paratransit), so good-will rides isn’t a thing here.
3. I borrowed money from her ONCE ($50) during a really rough month (of which, partly due to my own stupidity and carelessness, but lesson learned), and I paid her back on time.
4. the once-a-month treats in question range from a trip to the movies to a video game from the Xbox Store (I try to get them if they’re on sale, as in under $30 if possible). We’re not talking about astronomical amounts of money.
5. I do have slightly under $500 in credit card debt ($35 minimum, but I prefer to pay $$50, plus two installment plans related to some accessories I purchased for my recumbent e-trike (of which, in total, come out to just under $29 a month - and there are 7 installments left on each). I absolutely despise owning people or business entities, so once I get the Discover Cashback Match bonus ($80, by the way 🙂) in early to mid-August, I am considering starting the gradual process of preparing to eventually close the credit card (although I haven’t fully decided yet on that).
6. When you factor in the above numbers, as well as a few others, these are the calculations:

Income | Expenses
———————————
1233
-857
————————-
376 left over

376
-50 Credit Card
-29 Installments
-90 Electricity (average)
-08 Electricity Payment
Arrangement (approx.
$75 left owed)
-23 ICloud+ and AppleCare
One
-13 Spotify Premium
-21 YouTube Premium
——————————————————
-234 Expenses Subtotal
——————————————————
142 left over (and yes, I receive $265 in EBT as well)

So, as you can see, I am somewhat well off (albeit the electricity bill is an average, as sometimes it is slightly higher). My caregiver, apparently, pays around $400 a month to her aunt (who she lives with, per se, as she has her own place on the property) and receives slightly under $1000 after taxes (I assume, based off of the 72 hours she is paid for, minimum wage, and assumed tax bracket/taxes paid). My caregiver also has a son, so there’s that as well. (Not judging on anything here, though.)

So, I got perma-banned and perma-muted from two communities, r/POTS and r/dysautonomia (I don’t know if I spelled that right). I am not going to get into details, and I want to stress that the purpose of this post is not intended to be used as a complaint . . . I am simply wondering if there are any alternative groups that might be a bit more supportive that I could be a part of.

MODS, DELETE THIS POST IF NOT ALLOWED. THANKS IN ADVANCE. 💙

I started playing DMZ recently. I have found being intentionally and deliberately hunted consistently match after match (albeit thankfully not in every single one) slightly irritating, albeit acknowledging that PvP is part of DMZ. Those focused on exclusively hunting players is a tactic I personally find distasteful, but I digress. This argument, regardless of whether it is yay or nay, is irrelevant here.

I do want to get better and to be able to genuinely enjoy myself. With that said, does anyone know of any communities of players (Discord or otherwise) that might provide an opportunity to play DMZ (whether that be the old one or the upcoming MW4 version) with other people? I feel like having the ability to coordinate is an advantageous way to approach things, and I enjoy playing in a supportive role. I can’t necessarily do that effectively with randoms. Plus, playing in dedicated squads with friends would make things a lot more fun, in my opinion.

Plus, I don’t have very many online COD friends (not for want of trying), so there’s that as well.