u/Active_Rhubarb7311

My spouse has a tight knit friend group that has absorbed other members' partners easily but I always felt after years of trying that I am on the outside, invited only out of obligation, and nobody in the group wants to get closer to me even though I've made lots of efforts (initiate contact, host events, utilize skills like active listening in conversations, stay positive and polite). Recently I cracked after we all went to an event and nobody except my spouse talked to me all night. I reached out to the member of the group who is known as the brutally honest spare no feelings truth teller about why I am on the outskirts of the group permanently. I made it clear I wanted genuine advice so I could improve. I am so disheartened as her response was:

-I am fat, and she finds fat people naturally less charismatic and more awkward, and the rest of the group is not fat so I just don't "fit in" (Yes I know being fat is fixable but it's hard for me due to disability and limited mobility/chronic pain)

-I am visibly disabled (use a cane and often need to sit), and it makes me awkward to approach and talk to because none of them have much experience dealing with disabled people.

-I am "openly and obviously" autistic - this frustrated me the most as I didn't bring up that I was autistic when I met the group and have really been practicing a lot things that do not come naturally to me like eye contact and small talk. I also keep my special interest hidden and have never mentioned it to anyone in the group (although there are a few items related to it in my house). She said she could tell from meeting 1 because I "look autistic, like in a facial features and bone structure kinda way"

So the reason this friend group doesn't like me are...unchangeable things about myself. What can I do now? These people are so important to my spouse and I want them to like me but I can't fix being autistic or disabled....

Hi all, I have been dealing with moderate RLS for a few months which led to getting tests and found my ferritin is 3. I have IBS & a super limited diet so the Dr says yeah you're probably not absorbing iron & scheduled an infusion. Insurance only approved Infed. I got the whole dose at once. I did not take any pre meds and did not have any benadryl/steroids/etc thru my IV, just saline and the iron

About 30min after the infusion finished I went into a huge RLS flare and it hasn't let up. Usually my RLS happens mostly at night but today it lasted all day long. I had to walk and pace for hours because I couldn't get any relief, magnesium and my tens machine didnt even TOUCH it. I went in knowing it wasn't a guarantee infusion would hlep RLS, but I didn't know it would make it so so much worse...is there a chance it might go away or am I stuck like this?

I have always tended towards constipation but it tipped over into full IBS-C in 2022 after 2 abdominal surgeries + getting covid immediately after. I am on multiple laxatives just to be able to go and also deal with bad trapped gas, horrible bloating, some acid reflux as well. Endoscopy colonoscopy SIBO test gastric emptying study allergy/intolerance tests all negative, celiac and lactose intolerance neg. too. I may also have MCAS - one doctor thinks I do but testing was inconclusive and low histamine diet/antihists haven't shown any improvement yet, but it's still in consideration and I have more meds to try

From 2022 until now I have always been on one elimination diet or another. No dairy, no gluten, no wheat, low fodmap, low histamine, anti inflammatory, even keto/carnivore despite having alpha gal since childhood (that was the worse, horrible nutrient defs and lost so much hair). I am NOT looking for more elimination diet recs. I promise I have tried them. No diet worked for me but I cut a lot of stuff out that was higher symptom (most fruits, whole grain anything, a lot of cheeses, etc). I have been working with a monash certified dietician throughout

With the dietician I was able to identify a few foods that have symptoms "less than 50% of the time" (a specific brand of white bread, sunflower seed butter, white rice, carefully washed black beans, unseasoned chicken or turkey, cooked and mashed carrots & a few other root veg, mozzarella cheese, melon, some teas) and my diet essentially consists of small amounts of these, rotating as much as possible. But nothing is truly safe. Red potatoes roasted or boiled with the skin removed is the safest and I would still say it's only safe 8/10 times and 2/10 times it bloats me up and has me running for gas x and extra senna. The only truly safe things for me are water and apple flavored Pedialyte powder. One time I got into a really bad disordered eating state where I would just have water and apple pedialyte for over a week because I loved how symptom free I felt...and then of course ended up in the ER nearly dead and needed IV fluids for days to recover

Last appointment my dietician sat me down and basically had a come to Jesus where she said, look, you have to eat, insurance will not approve a feeding tube, you do worse with shakes/formulas than chicken/potatoes/rice/etc, you can do fasts but only for a few days at a time, you need to keep eating your foods even though they are not "100% safe." I broke down and just said I wish I had a safe food I could rely on in flares, because everything is so dang unpredictable, and she said I understand but your reality is you dont' have that. And I am exhausted and would give anything for 1 food I could eat without having to wonder if I won't poop for 3 days. Yes I'm in therapy too but not prescribed any meds for anxiety/depression as they all made my digestion worse.

Pollen is my worst allergen, I'm allergic to every single type, it's pretty much the only thing that is a "true" allergy for me and not just general MCAS sensitivity. I am so good about handling things in the spring - almost never leave the house, mask up when I do, frequent deep cleaning, all windows double sealed, air purifiers, covers on pillows/beds, wash clothes as soon as I come in the house if I do have to go outside, in addition to meds.

The day before yesterday I had to go to the dr to get a blood draw and on the way back a pollen grain got in my eye (my partner had to help me put eye drops in to remove it). I'm in bed, face swollen, arms itchy, tons of meds on board, air purifier and fans running, on my 2nd day of a fast in a desperate attempt to clear out my histamine bucket. The only upside has been getting to enjoy some extra long showers guilt free as I do feel it helps me. Just wanted to vent about how ONE tiny bit of pollen can mess me up for days!